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Marriage

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WHY SOME LOVING MEN AND WOMEN END UP WITH UNLOVING SPOUSES

by Anthony Osei Boateng
04/08/09
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People wonder why good and loving men and women mostly end up with unloving, unfaithful, cheating and bad men and women. This whole thing has to do with a misunderstanding of love and lust.

Lust is a strong sexual attraction to another person which is mostly short-lived, whereas love inconveniences itself for the convenience of others. Love lasts longer than lust.

The man or woman in lust would do virtually anything to get his or her need met. The unsuspecting partner who wrongly translated all those gestures as pure love gestures gets led astray and also develops strong love and affection for the lustful partner. After satisfying his or her lust the lustful partner moves on to another person. The partner who fell in love with the lustful man or woman will then find it so difficult to forget about him or her. He or she may try so hard to keep him or her and end up getting hurt. The partner who was in love desired a lasting relationship, whereas the one in lust was just interested in satisfying his or her sexual desire.

Hence the truth of the matter is; the loving people, who dated rough, unloving abusive and unfaithful people, were actually dating people who lusted after them and then despised them after satisfying their own lusts. A person in lust will leave after getting what he or she wants. They also leave after not getting what they want. Some lustful people also have the tendency of coming back once in a while to try to fulfil their lust.

The best way to avoid heartbreak is to ensure that the one you are entering a relationship with is truly in love with you. This can be done by not allowing any sexual contact with your partner as you start dating and carefully studying your partner to determine whether his or her actions are more directed at you sexually. A person just wanting to satisfy his or lustful desire on you will eventually give up on you. In some instances too, such people eventually develop strong love after being denied sexual access initially.

Before entering a relationship, one should pray a lot about the intended spouse, and God will let his or her true intentions come out. It is always better to date a person who really loves you and is not just interested in getting sexual with you. When people marry people who truly love then, heartaches are minimised.

Lastly, in order to maintain the spark in one’s relationship, one should give his or her spouse the opportunity to show their love. A feedback of their affection for you should be requested especially after you have shown them some love. (e-mail: [email protected])

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Mark Parks
10 Apr 2009
Anthony, I really enjoyed your article. You have spoken to the problem that exists in so many love relationships. Also you have demonstrated of how so often lust is confused with love. Thanks for speaking to this serious issue

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