Humor

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Answer me when I call,
O God
of my right!
Thou hast given me
room when I
was in distress.
Be gracious to me,
and hear
my prayer.
[Psalms 4:1]
************************
(Author is standing
in her garage, whispering
up at the garage ceiling.
Outside her house,
out back, the pesticide
guy, about 60 and very
cute, is out spraying the
backyard. He's been
coming, spraying for
fire ants, scorpians
and snakes... for the past
3 and 1/2 years.)
__________________
"PSSST!
PSSST!
Hey......LORD!"

[SMILE.]
[NOD.]
"What is it,
Mein kinder?"

(Author points to the
truck, standing out by
the curb.)

[SILENCE.]

"WELL?"

"Well;
what,
My beloved."

"SO?"

[SOLEMN NOD.]
"Ah.
I see;
you have ants."

(Roll eyes, in impatience.)
"NO!
NO!"

[CHUCKLE.]
"You don't have
ants,
My child?"

"YES!
YES!
I DO!
But......."

[SMILE.]
"But,
what."

(Grimmace up at garage
ceiling.)
"BOY!
SOMETIMES..... Lord....
You're really kind'a
THICK!"

[SOFT RUMBLE FROM
THE CLOUDY, TEXAS
SKY.]

"AW!
COME on!
You KNOW what
I MEAN!"

"No,
what;
My precious."

"AW!
Come ON!
YOU KNOW!"

[CHUCKLE.]
"What,
My beloved."

(Squinty grimmace up at
garage ceiling light.)
"GEE WHIZ!
Do I have t'a SPELL
it OUT?"

[LOVING GAZE.]
"Perhaps,
Mein kinder.
I want you to
talk,
to Me."

(Frown.)
(Squirm.)
"YOU know....."

[AGGRAVATING SILENCE.]

"Aw, come ON!"
(Woeful look.)
"Gimme' a BREAK!"

[SILENCE.]

"Aw, COME on,
LORD! YOU help...
everybody ELSE!"

[SILENCE.]

"Why not ME?"

[PATIENT GAZE.]

"HUH?
You help.....everybody
ELSE!"

[CURIOUS GAZE.]
"What sort of help,
child?"

"NEVER MIND!"

[CHUCKLE.]

"FORGET IT!"

[SMILE!]

"SORRY, I ASKED!"

[PATIENT GAZE.]

(Author shakes head,
waves hand up at the
garage ceiling, and
walks back into house.
Cute pesticide guy is
still out back, waking up
the fire ants, sugar ants,
and Texas-sized scorpians.)

[SMILE.]
***********************
Trust Him
at all times,
O people;
pour out
your heart
before Him;
God is a
refuge
for us.
[Psalms 62:8]

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