Bible Studies

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"Lord?"

[SILENCE.]

(Whiny screech.)
"LORD!
LORD!"

[PATIENT GAZE.]

(Cup hands to mouth.)
(Yell, really loud.)
"HEY, LORD!"

[PATIENT NOD.]
"Yes,
My vunda'lah.
What is it."

"What d'Ya MEAN,
what it it?"
(Grimmace!)
Didn't Ya see what
was goin' ON, TODAY?"

[CALM NOD.]
"I see everything,
My beloved."

"SO?
Why didn't Ya,
DO SOMETHIN'?"

[AGGRAVATING SILENCE.]

"You KNOW:
about the 45 BUCKS?"

[PATIENT GAZE.]

"MY 45 BUCKS!"

"Everything belongs
to Me,
My child."

(Eyes open really wide.)
(Squirm.)
(Clueless squint.)
"So........how come
that 45 dollars
went into that
vet's POCKET?"

[SILENCE.]

"She SHEISTERED
ME! And, You just
stood there,
WATCHIN' her!"

[CALM NOD.]
[LONG PAUSE.]
"What did you learn
tonight,
My precious."

"Ya mean,
TODAY?
Eh......don't ever
call one'a those
traveling VETS?
Cuz, if they come
to your house,
they're gonna CHARGE
you 45 bucks, just
to stick their toe in
the DOOR?
And, if the kitty escapes
outta the room you stuck
her in... for the EXAM,
and runs under the bed
in another room, and
3 different people in
the house can't get her
OUT......
using brooms, vacuum-nozzels,
and, cans a' TUNA......
and, the vet
gets irritated with YOU,
and doesn't even get to stick
a FINGER...
on the said-kitty.....
he's gonna charge
ya, full-price....
ANYWAY?"

[SIGH.]
[PATIENT GAZE.]
[WATCH THE QUIET
MOON OVER LAKE
ERIE, FOR A MOMENT
OF RESTFUL RESPITE.]
[SIGH.]
[GAZE BACK AT COLICKY
CHILD.]

(Cranky frown!)
"Ya mean,
in BIBLE STUDY,
tonight?"

[PATIENT NOD.]

(Shrug.)
"I DUNNO.....
they're still on the
same spot, in
ROMANS!"

[SMILE!]
"Which one,
My beloved?"

(Grimmace!)
"Ya know:
the same stuff,
about the JEWS!
And.....the GREEKS!"

[NOD.]
"Read it,
to Me."

(Frown!)
(Yell, up to ceiling.)
"What does this
have ta' do with
that sheister VET?
And, my CAT?"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

(Frown.)
"Yeah; here's somethin':

Are we Jews
any better off?
[Romans 3:9]

Well.....I'm a JEW!
And, I'm sure NOT!
Especially, after
that VET, today!"

[CLOSE EYES IN PATIENT
MERCY.]
[SIGH.]
"Read all of it,
My beloved."

(Impatient squirm.)
(Mutter.)
"Here:

No, not at all;
for I have
already charged
that all men......
are under the power
of sin,
as it is written:
None is righteous,
no, not one.
[Romans 3:9-10]

Yeah; SO?"

"What does it
mean,
My beloved."

(Squint thoughtfully.)
(Chew on a pretzel.)
".....That.....
everybody's BAD?"

[PATIENT GAZE.]

"And.....that,
we all need a SAVIOR?"

[SMILE!]

(Cranky squint.)
"Yeah;
but, Ya still haven't
told me what's this
gotta do with my CAT!
And, that ganniff*
of a VET!"

[LONG PAUSE.]
"Who is your
Lord,
child?"

(Whiny screech.)
"YOU!"

[NOD.]
"And,
Where is your Salvation,
My child?"

(Point right forefinger
up to the ceiling fan.)

[CHUCKLE!]
[NOD.]
"And,
Whom shall you trust?"

(Shrug.)
(Frown.)
(Look away.)
(Mumble.)
"You."

[QUIET VOICE.]
"Who?"

(Shrug.)
(Small voice.)
"You."

[NOD.]
[TENDER SMILE.]
*********************
Again,
Jesus spoke to them,
saying,
I am the Light
of the world;
he who
follows Me
will not walk in darkness,
but will have
the light of life.
[John 8:12]

_________________
*Yiddish: 'thief'.


In memory to a beautiful
actress,
Natasha Richardson.

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