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The Home for Christian Writers! Matthew 6:33

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Goldie Lox and Just the Right Size Lord

by Julie Michaelson
02/20/09
For Sale
Author requests article critique

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Then
the Lord
answered Job,
out of the whirlwind...
Where were you
when I laid
the foundation
of the earth?
[Job 38:1-4]
*******************
"LORD?"

"What is it,
Mein kinder."

"Is that
REALLY YOU?"

[NOD.]

"I thought,
Ya know:
I wasn't IMPORTANT,
enough."

[SMILE!]

"Or.......BIG,
enough."
(Woeful frown.)

[SMILE.]
"No,
Mein kinder."

(Suspicious squint.)
"I don't BELIEVE it.
WHY would You
wanna PAY ANY
ATTENTION
.....to ME?"

"Who made you,
child?"

"My PARENTS?"

[NOD.]
"Yes.
And, Who
made them?"

(Squintful pause.)
(Squint.)
"Eh..........
a bunch'a scruffy,
Jewish IMMIGRANT
PEASANTS........
from Communist RUSSIA?"

[PATIENT SIGH.]
[PATIENT PAUSE.]
"And,
Mein kinda'lah?"

"I DUNNO!
I never RESEARCHED it...
past THAT!"

[PATIENT FROWN.]

"ECH!
Who would WANT TO?
It was probably nothing,
but misery,
and MORE MISERY!
Probably....a bunch'a
poor relatives.....
in the late 1800's....
being sent off to
SIBERIA,
or somethin'!"

[PATIENT SIGH.]
"Child,
Who AM I?"

(Philosophical squint.)
(Shrug.)
"I DUNNO.
I forget.
WHAT were we...
TALKIN' ABOUT?"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]
[CONTEMPLATE THE
MOONS OF JUPITER.]
[TOUCH ONE OF THE
SMALLER MOONS,
TENDERLY.]
[REACH OUT AND
TOUCH THE TOP
OF THE AUTHOR'S
SCRUFFY HEAD.]

"Where'd Ya GO?"

"I'm Right Here,
My precious."

"SEE why it's good....
to TALK to me,
LORD?"
(Sassy smile!)
"You get to PRACTICE
Your........
ENGLISH CONTRACTIONS!"

[SMILE.]
[PATIENTLY SHAKE HEAD,
IN CONSTERNATION.]
"You still
don't know Me,
My child."

"Yeah, I DO!
You're the BIG,
eh.....Mean Nasty LORD......
Who Only...
speaks in HEBREW!"

[PATIENT SIGH.]
[LISTEN TO SOME
FOLKS IN CHINA,
READING THE NEW
TESTAMENT, IN
CHINESE.*]

"YEAH!
And......then,
You got MAD at ME,
cuz, I HATED HEBREW
SCHOOL!"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]
[LISTEN TO TWO
LITTLE DOVES,
COOING AT EACH OTHER.]

"And......then,
Ya didn't TALK to me,
for, like,
FORTY YEARS!"

"No,
My precious."

"YEAH!
Cuz, You were much
too, too......
BIG, for ME!"

[PATIENT GAZE.]
"No."

(Squint thoughtfully.)
"Well.......then,
cuz, You were too
SMALL,
for ME!"

[PATIENT FROWN.]
"No,
My beloved."

"Well, then......cuz.....
You were....never,
just RIGHT,
for ME?"

[CHUCKLE.]

"I sound like,
one'a Goldie Locks'
BEARS, don't I?"

[LONG PAUSE.]
"I AM the Only
One,
My beloved."

(Getting hungry,
and thinking about
Goldie Locks' parridge.)
(Grimmace!)
(Think about a big,
toasted bagel,
smothered with lox**,
and Philadelphia Brand
Cream Cheese.)
(Salivate.)
(Smile.)
"WHAT were You
SAYIN', LORD?
The only one....
WHAT?"

[LOVING GAZE.]
"The Only One,
for you."
*********************
We love,
because
He first
loved us.
[1 John 4:19]

_________________________
*Author knows there
are many, many dialects
of Chinese. But, that's
all she knows.
**A type of cold, pickled
salmon. The author's
mother used to buy it,
thinly sliced, from
the corner store
kosher delicatessen.
It was wrapped tight,
in thick white paper.
It was delicious.




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Reader Count & Comments
Date
Sherril Wendling
20 Feb 2009
Beautiful. The Only One for me, yes! (BTW, they served us lox on cream cheesy bagels on an El Al flight to Israel many years ago, back when airlines could afford to feed you. I sang the praises of such a feast, thereby prompting less appreciative tourists to donate their lox to my plate. Oops! too much of a good thing. . .)

The opinions expressed by authors do not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com. This is especially true with articles that deal with personal healthcare and prophecy. We encourage the reader to make their own decision in consultation with God, His Word, and others as needed.

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