Fiction

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Dear Jessica:

I would like to introduce to you my first novel entitled, The Journal.
The Journal tells a story of love - a love that is bound by nothing, only in and of it's self. The story is driven on the concept of a selfless love, which in part, is based on a very riveting and life changing personal experience of my own; leading to it's very, and permanent foundation.

The Journal tells the love-story between two people, though there is nothing extraordinary about either of them - their story is extraordinary in limitless ways. As with all stories of love and it's unveiling; there will always be pain. The Journal gives us love, then crisis, equal to some, and unparalleled to others, yet leaves us with hope. Again, it gives us love, then tragedy, leaving us with , if only all we have left - faith. Pain and sorrow can render us helpless at times, but where there is hope, faith is sure to follow, then we begin to believe in something not seen, but only felt selflessly with ones own heart - true love.

As the two boldly face each individual heartbreak, their lives begin to shatter inevitably, physically tearing them apart from the other. And, at one point in their story it would seem hopeless and or impossible for them to find their way back to each other. How does one overcome such significant and insufferable pain? Through the very foundation on which they built their lives upon - selfless love; out of which comes hope, then comes faith and with faith we begin to believe in the impossible - only because we loved selflessly so.

As the old adage goes: " Love can endure all things" - yes it can, but the key and what is so often overlooked in our society, and or humanity - it will, only if we love selflessly so. The Journal brings to light the tale of two people that meet at the very tender age of 15, fall in love, only their love affair, as magnificent as it may seem, encounters staggering calamities; not only are they forced to face, more so, find the answers to the unavoidable heartbreak. The ultimate beauty in their story is in the way the two respond to these tragedies. How they deal with the incomprehensible pain and sorrow that comes from preserving and protecting their love, is not only unique, it's grandeur allure of their selfless acts, is exactly what draws the reader in for t heir full attention. Do they triumph in the end - of course they do, but only in and because of their selfless love, that's the unforgettable and memorable basis of their story.
In this ever changing world where it seems all we hear about is bad news, destruction, war, famous couples misfortunes, I felt we could all use a grand love story of our day, especially one based on the very truth of humanity - selfless love.

Although The Journal stands alone as my first novel, consisting of 58,000 words, I have 13 others outlined, some of the same genre: love story/drama, (commercial fiction) assuming and basing this work being a plot driven novel; and some of various other genres. The novels is complete and ready to send to you at your request.

Jessica, I would like to say that I initially chose you for your very successful work history, however, I was also drawn to you based on the fact that you are willing to not only look at up and coming author's, more so, the way your agency truly see's the need of a unpublished writer.
I would like to thank-you in advance for any time or consideration that you might allow, and will look forward to possibly hearing back from you.

Respectfully, and Sincerely,

Lisa Marie Davies
[email protected]
620-482-7064




The Journal
Chapter One
The 8th Anniversary


The cabin was just as beautiful as he remembered, only this time Jake had prepared some very special
touches he was sure Laura would adore. He had the local florist fill the cabin with white lilies and pink roses, Lauras favorites of course, and scatter rose petals through out the cabin and all over their bed. He planned for the fire to be blazing and her favorite champagne chilled upon their arrival. Fresh fruit, vegetables, and cheese for the their appetites, everything was to be perfect, and it was.
As they made their way up the steps hand in hand, Jake stopped, turned to Laura, raised her chin upwards, making sure he had her full attention, and stared deep into her eyes,
"Laura my Darling, there will never be enough words for me to
describe what you've meant to me all these years, I could live my life and ten more life times, and that would never be enough time to show you.!"
Her eyes lit up, her smile took Jakes breath away. The smile Jake recalling, he hadn't seen in a very long time. With no words spoken, Jake reached down, gently picking her up, cradling her in his arms as if he was holding a baby. Still staring into each others eyes, he carried her through the door, as if he was caring her over the threshold on their wedding day, and said:
"But, My darling wife, I am going to show you just how very much I love you and how special you have made my life - thank you for marrying me!"
Laura began to look around the cabin, noticing all that Jake had done, she burst into tears, "Oh Jake, this is more beautiful than I could have ever imagined or dreamed of Darling."
"You are so good to me Jake Evan Mc Callister, I couldn't ever feel more special and loved as I do right now at this very moment! " "I will cherish it forever," then she kissed him tenderly.
The caretakers had done just as he requested, not missing a single detail. Both stone fireplaces were lit and crackling, one in the living area and the other in the bedroom. The rooms were filled with candle light only, they'd even remembered to have her favorite artist playing in the background. Although Laura had only seen Frank Sinatra once in concert before he passed, her parents loved his music, hence growing up to love it also. It seemed too good to be true, or Jake was just really lucky that day; her favorite song of Frank's just happen to be playing, "Can't Take My Eyes off of You," while carrying her in. It was all quite perfect, more so than if he'd done it himself.
With no more words spoken, he took her back to the log bed where they had made love so many times before, laid her down with that deep seeded passionate kiss, the one that belonged to them. The one that took them to a place, unlike any other, one that only they'd known and shared.
Their week in the cabin went by entirely too quick, as it always did.
And now it was their last night in the cabin, it was always hard for them to leave, but this time was different. Laura was different, her sadness seamed heavier, she appeared almost despondent at times.
It had been obvious all week there was something else bothering her, something, that no matter how hard he tried he couldn't decipher.
Always in the past he'd known her heart, he could read her thoughts, her feelings, but this time was extraordinarily unfamiliar, he felt like he was wading through unchartered territory, and without a map. His gut told him it was more than just the loss of her Father, and her constant concern for her Mother, something she'd been compelled to keep from him, and that was something she'd never done before. But yet, it was something the two of them shared, yet somehow he was unaware - she wouldn't let him in.
He felt it when they made love; it was if she was clinging on to him for dear life. There was fear in her eyes that he didn't understand, a look that he'd never seen before, more than intense passion, a look that was telling him to read through her eyes and into her soul because it would never be revealed from her lips.
He'd asked her about her extreme sadness several times, her response was always lovingly and gracious, each time reassuring him that everything was fine and not to worry. She'd shared with him more than once, how the affects of her Father's death and loosing him to cancer so quickly, had made her a little paranoid about loosing him also. And that his death had given her a whole new perspective on life in many different aspects, including her priorities. And this was all he was seeing in her actions or her eyes; she would remind him how in time it will all subside.
The two of them had been best friends for a very long time now; he could see through her bold front she'd put up for him. She was holding something back, something she couldn't divulge or share, so for now he would have to be patient, wait for her to come to him, just as she'd always done, just has he knew she would. All he could do was simply, and unconditionally love her, this came naturally, it was seeing her hurt and not being able help her in some way - that was killing him.
The sun
seemed to disappear earlier than par for the mountains, and the snow was coming down boldly, slowly, more brilliant than he'd ever remembered. Although, his concern for her was mounting, he was trying so hard not to show it, it was their last night in the cabin and he surely didn't want to ruin it as he'd planned for one last special surprise for her.
Laura
sat curled up in a blanket in front of the fire writing in her journal, but still taking time to stop and watch the snow fall through the big picture window in front of her; Jake found himself just standing back, admiring how she looked like an angel with the fire lighting up her face, and her long blond hair falling down over her shoulders.
She'd wanted to cut her hair many times throughout the years, expressing how much short hair would simplify her already hectic schedule she managed, especially in the mornings while getting ready for work. However, Jake always managed to talk her out of it, usually by reminding her how lucky she was to have such beautiful hair in the first place, or how perfect it was when she awoke, but most important, how badly she might regret cutting it all off, once it was gone.
Somehow his plea's always worked, or maybe it was just the "selfless" way the two of them loved one another, always putting the others feelings first, with never a thought of themselves.
Watching her, he decided to join her in front of the fire, when she suddenly broke down in tears - he was taken completely back for a moment. What was she thinking about? Why wouldn't she come to him with it?
Watching her hurt so deeply and having to stand back, rendered him helpless.
It was as if she'd suddenly went to a place in her mind that she couldn't share with anyone, crippling her heart to such intense and deep pain, a pain she couldn't run from or block out at times.
Unquestionably he wanted to rush to her, soothe her, some how comfort her. This was the one thing he was sure he could always do besides love her the rest of her life, was knowing he could always comfort and reassure her when she needed him to.
Never having to ask, he always knew exactly when she needed him, never had she made him feel as if she didn't.
Though,this time was entirely different, he didn't know or even begin to understand why, what kept her from confiding in him, or at least allow him to console her, he hurt for her, with her, and worse yet, there was no helping her.
He didn't push her though, he'd already questioned her several times, for now he'd have to respect her wishes and her privacy, just as they both had always done for each other. Over the last year her time with her journal, had been just that - private time of her own, her outlet, a place for her worries, her fears, things that she just couldn't share with Jake, at least not now anyway. He assumed, someday she might share it all with him, just not now.
He waited for her to put her journal aside, then he walked over to her, reached his hand out for hers, and guided her to the bathroom, where he'd filled the antique claw foot tub with rose petals, the floor was covered with candles, leaving a path leading up to the tub, clear for them to walk. Laura stood slightly behind him wearing a smile, once again the smile that had been missing for so long, even through the tears were still trickling down her cheeks. She looked so pleased with what he'd done just for her. Jake stood for a brief moment to stare into her eyes, to admire her smile, the one he cherished, the one he remembered could always bring him to his knees.
H
is hands started to tremble while looking into her eyes; after all these years together she still makes my hands shake, he thought to himself, tilting his head with a little chuckle and sexy grin. Now standing directly in front of her, still looking into her eyes, she began to unbutton his shirt very slowly, kissing his chest with every button, he could feel her heart beating with his as they undressed each other without words. Again, he picked her up cradled her in his arms and walked her down the path of candle light, gently laying her in the bath, then slowly climbing in to join her.
For moments, not sure of even how long they laid at opposite ends of the tub just to gaze into each others eyes, he realized that he'd remember this moment for the rest of his life. Then, he saw the look again, the sadness, the overwhelming desperation, in her eyes, as if she wanted so badly for him to know, somehow understand what she was thinking, what was tormenting her so, yet couldn't speak.
Jake's heart ragged in pain again, he ached inside as their eyes searched one another for the answers, the pain hit the bottom of his stomach like a lead ball, the anguish of not knowing, yet knowing there was something she held inside of her heart that she couldn't tell him, it was as if she was protecting him in a way. Yet, without her confiding in him, all that was left to do was wait with open arms, that would never change, as he'd always be there for her no matter what the circumstances.
It seemed as though they
'd made love for hours in the bath, somehow making their way to the bed - this was the bed they had made love in for the very first time, the bed on their honeymoon night.
Even though they'd been together since they were 15 years old - Laura had been adamant on waiting until their wedding day, Jake always assured her that he would wait the rest of his life for her.
He was a true romantic, pure of heart, he believed in the meaning of love, and was never afraid, nor embarrassed of showing her or telling her his feelings. Although, Laura didn't seem to be quite as romantic as he was, Jake always picked up the slack in that department. The differences within each other, they admired and appreciated, allowing them to grow from; only making their marriage that much stronger. But he never once doubted her love - their love, that was eternal.
He laid awake as the morning light came in through the window, it was a reminder of them having to leave again. He'd held Laura in his arms all night, most of the time watching her sleep and thinking how peaceful she looked.
While she slept, he replayed the things that continually haunted him, over and over in his mind. He remembered the look in her eyes while making love, the desire, the passion in her touch, the sensual undertones in her moans, it had been extremely intense, more so than he could ever recall.
Why was this bothering him so badly, because it was truly different this time, he thought. Yeah it was always intense for them, but somehow she needed him, not just desired, she needed in a way that he couldn't justify. She had given herself to him in a way he couldn't describe, it was almost as if it were her last time to make love to him, he thought, immediately dismissing that from his mind.
He laid there struggling with knowing there was something deeply affecting her that she couldn't or wouldn't tell him, and with having to give her time, her space she'd needed lately, her private time, time she spent confiding in her journal and not him.
Suddenly she opened her eyes, looked up into his and said: "I love you Jake - make love to me one more time my Darling!" And of course, her wish was his command.
The ride home was quiet, this was never unusual, they always dreaded leaving the cabin, the mountains they both had come to love so much. She finally laid her head on Jakes lap and whispered aloud; "I love you Jake, with all my heart" and he replied: "I love you too Darling, go on to sleep and I will wake you when we get home."
Driving while Laura slept always gave him time to reflect and plan ahead. He found himself hoping, maybe some how this trip would help her begin putting an end to her pain that she constantly endured from the loss of her Father. That she could start to put it all behind her now, that their lives could ease their way back to normal, the way it use to be. Though, the thoughts of her pain and her look of desperation kept plaguing him, he'd push them out of his mind, and hope for the best.
He
began thinking about their future, good thoughts, when he realized that her birthday was just around the corner. What could he possibly get her that she didn't already have, or desired. If ever she wanted or needed anything, she could simply buy it herself.
Then it hit, like a bolder plowing down from the side of the mountain, he realized the perfect gift for her, he was absolutely sure she would love it - he would buy the cabin.
The one they just left, the one they go to every year for their anniversary - she'd be so surprised. Only he'd have make sure that he was careful in doing so, not slipping up by leaving notes, phone numbers around the office or house that she might find.
She is always so happy there, if I buy it, we can go whenever we want, instead of once a year, he thought. He imagined how thrilled she'd be, how she'd love the romance in the very thought of him buying it for her, for them, and all the memories they have their together.
Jake told himself he would get on
it first thing in the morning, contacting the owners and making an offer they couldn't refuse.








Chapter Two
Jake decided to get up early and get to the office before everyone else arrived, thinking this would give him time to contact the owners of the cabin without anyone knowing what he was planning or someone catching wind of it, and accidentally mentioning it to Laura without knowing it was to be a surprise. He was extremely quiet while he prepared for work, making sure not to arouse her as he knew he'd have answer questions as to why he was leaving so early, and besides she needed the extra sleep . He knew she'd need at least one day at home to catch up on everything, and prepare herself for her return to work after her leave of absence. And he knew she have calls to make, first one being her Mother, though Laura made a continual conscious effort in giving her Mother the space she needed to grieve, he knew she worried for her daily. Then she'd feel the need to call her clients, she'd always been very dedicated to her work, even when her personal life was shattering all around her - she'd never let it intervene with her work.
It had been months now since she'd lost her Father, between dealing with her own severe loss, grieving in her own way, the deep concern for her Mother, she couldn't hide; she'd still managed to follow up on her work from home.
Jake's day was busy, although his assistant Sandy, without fail, had done such a great job in managing the company while they'd been away; luckily for Jake, he still had allot of double up and catch up for both he and Laura, which inevitably made the day fly by much faster. He was looking forward to getting home to her, thoughts of her had been lying in the back of his mind all day.
He managed to track down the phone numbers for the owners of the cabin, and left several messages on their home and cell phones for them to call him back, but still hadn't heard anything from them.
Before long the sun was setting, and instantly he was reminded of the silence in the office, glancing at his watch, it was already after 6:00 pm, and time for him to wrap things up and head home, he couldn't wait.
His office door flung open without a knock, just as Sandy had always done
:
"Jake I'm going to take off for now, if that is okay with you?"
"Sure Sandy, go ahead, I'm almost done here myself."
"
Okay, well then I will see you tomorrow, have a great evening, oh and give Laura my best, would ya?"
"Sure, and Sandy,
I am sorry if I neglected to properly thank-you for taking care of things around the office while Laura and I were away - your the best." Heck, I don't know what we'd ever do without ya!" Jake smiled and gave a quick wink in saying good-bye.
"You know it's never a problem, you two are the greatest, speaking of Laura, how is she doing Jake, is she coming back to work soon?"
" Laura is doing great, in fact
, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if she doesn't show back up for a full schedule of work in the next day or two." "The trip went even better than I had originally thought it would, ya know with the recent loss of her Father and all."
" Jake I am so sorry for the two of you, I wished I could have done more for Laura."
"Sandy you have always done more than enough, just simply being here taking care of
everything when we must be away from the office, we couldn't ask for anything more." "We never have to worry when we're away knowing you're here, and that in itself is a blessing." "Think nothing more of it okay?" "I really expect all to be back to normal this week. Have a good evening Sandy, I'll see you tomorrow!"
"Good night Jake."
Jake quickly tied things u
p on his desk, preparing for the next day and headed for the house. On the drive home his mind took him back to their last night in the cabin, their love making, even more so, the look in her eyes. The look that kept him troubled, the look that continually lingered in the back of his mind, and pained his heart, yet, he wasn't even for sure why.
He found himself driving faster than usual
, wanting to get home to her, to hold her in his arms again, to rock her in their chair by the fire as they'd always done, simply to comfort her.
The sense of urgency was overwhelming, and he couldn't explain why, if his life had depended upon it; all he could think about was her needing him, and the look in her eyes that told him so.
I've got to get home and let her know just how much I love her, even if all this is still from the loss of her Father - she needs me and my reassurance, he thought, as he pushed the gas peddle down.
He decided in his mad rush to get home, to stop at the florist, it was on his way and close to the house. The clerk helped him quickly put together a bouquet of pink roses and white lilies, he mentioned he was in a slight hurry, and asked if she would mind wrapping them in tissue paper with a white ribbon. She'd seen him many times before, and was more than happy and very courteous in helping him get on his way.
As the garage door slowing opened, seeming to move at a turtles pace, he noticed her car was gone. Why would she be gone at this time at night, was his first thought. Then he guessed she probably realized she'd needed something from the store and ran for some groceries, after the week in cabin, there probably wasn't much left edible in the fridge. Now, he'd have time to put her flowers in a vase, add some wood to the fire and open up a bottle of wine for them, maybe even grab a quick shower before she returned.
As soon as he opened the door leading into their mud room
, which led into their Kitchen; he felt a chill to the air - the warmth in air didn't greet him as usual, and the house was pitch dark. Everything felt oddly obscure.
It was dark as far back as he could see - this was never normal, ever. Chills ran up his body, causing him to shiver from head to foot.
He made his way through the mud room and managed to trip the light on with his elbow while bending down to set his briefcase on the kitchen floor. As the Kitchen lit up, he was overcome with the awareness of not only her absence, but she hadn't been there for some time now.
All the lights were off in their home, this was abnormal, they'd always kept the lighting under kitchen cabinets lit, if nothing else. And the den, her favorite room in the house, would not only be lit, but would have a blazing fire going. He slowly made his way to the den, taking in everything around him as he walked, almost hesitant, when he flipped the light on, he stopped dead in his tracks, he was completely taken back by what he saw. No fire, not even a coal or ash, the fireplace was exactly as they had left it when they left for their trip to the mountains, she hadn't been there all day, this he was sure of.
He became panicked, a sense of heaviness hit his heart, again, he wasn't sure why, he just felt something was terribly wrong.
He reached for his cell phone in his jacket pocket, and immediately tried to call her, only to get her answering service.
Why would she have her phone off he wondered, he knew that was the only way her phone would go straight to her voice mail. He double checked his messages, the office phone messages, his email messages - nothing not from Laura.
Over an hour had gone by, still, nothing from her. He made his way through most of the house looking for notes she might have left, anything or maybe some sort of clue as to why she hadn't been there, still there was nothing. He just couldn't understand or try to make any sense of something that he knew she would never do.
He knew she'd know how worried he'd be about her, how she'd never shut her phone off, she never had in the past, due to all her clients, but more importantly how they were always so respectful of each others schedules and extremely considerate and compassionate for each others feelings. His mind started to wonder, worry, leading him to think or consider things, well things he just couldn't bare.
He began to ache inside, the not knowing, not knowing where she is, if she is okay, if she needs him,if she is in some sort of trouble, and simply why - why all this madness? He finally rationalized with himself to stop thinking the absolute worst, he needed to calm down, to call Laura's Mother, maybe Jane needed Laura, and she took off to her Mom's and forgot to leave a note, maybe her phone is dead, maybe she left it in her car.
"Hello",
"Good evening Jane, how are you?"
"I am fine Jake, how was your trip, are you two back Dear?"
Jake could feel himself sinking, and quickly went for a chair. "Yes, Jane, actually we got in late last night, our trip was good though;" trying not to reveal the urgency in his voice to Jane, God only knows she doesn't need this right now, not after loosing her husband, he thought.
" That's great Hun, what can I do for you this evening?" "
"Well...., uhh I was calling you to see if you had talked with Laura today?"
"Funny you mention that, I've tried to call her since 10:30 this morning, the house and cell both, I didn't leave a message, I just figured you two were taking your time coming home." " Is there something wrong Jake?"
"Not really Jane, I just walked in from work a little while ago, and she's not here, no note or message, I just thought she may have driven down to see you and forgot to call or leave a note, that's all, nothing to worry about."
"Well Honey, maybe she went to visit some friends, or went shopping, you know how Laura loves to shop - call me back Dear, let me know, I am sure she is fine."
"I'm sure your right, I'll give her a little while longer and then check with a few of her friends, but I'm sure she'll be walking in any minute now, and I'll feel silly for worrying about her."
Jake forced a chuckle, and quickly got off the phone with Jane, but promised to call her tomorrow or have Laura call her.
He finally convinced himself to quit pacing the floor, to cut the flowers and put them in vase for her arrival. He decided against the wine, but instead poured himself a brandy and started a fire in the den. He sat in their chair, the one they sat in nightly, he felt the vast emptiness engulfing him - normally he'd be holding Laura on his lap rocking her by now.
Where had she gone, this was completely unlike her, he also knew she wouldn't be out with her friends this time of night without at least a phone call; as Jane had suggested.
He just sat there, almost motionless, except the brandy in hand and up to his mouth. His eyes fixed, starring straight into the fire, letting his mind run ramped and immersed in the "what if's", when he glanced up at the clock on the mantel; it was now 10:30. He knew it was time to take some action, as much as he didn't want to think the worst, he had to make some calls, even it was a little presumptuous or overly concerned on his part. It was quite simple to him - she would never do anything like this.
He called the hospitals, the police, sheriff, and highway patrol, no sign of Laura.
The police explained to Jake that they couldn't put out a "missing persons" for her until she'd been gone for 24 hours, and to try the hospitals if she doesn't show up soon, which he'd already done.
He felt more than defeated, how could he
allow himself to feel defeated, when he couldn't even begin to understand why or what had happened - like there was no beginning to all this madness to feel defeated about.
This was more than his wife, this was the one and only love of his life, th
e two of them had a once in a life time love, as no other, she'd never let him worry like this, it would kill her, if she knew how his heart was breaking.
The fire was growing dim,
and he didn't have the strength mentally or physically to put another log in, he hadn't even taken off his overcoat, he sat in utter disbelief, his entire body aching in physical pain, not knowing where his Darling wife was and if she is okay.
The brandy had finally kicked in, allowing his body to settle just enough for him to start to doze for a split second, then quickly he pulled himself back to utter consciousness and remembered her address book beside their bed in her nightstand.
He thought there might be something in there to guide him, or someone he had neglected to remember to call. As he walked up the winding staircase, his mind raced between disbelief and reality, he'd never thought in his worst of dreams he'd be facing something like this - where are you Laura, he said aloud as he arrived at the top of the stairs.
When he entered their bedroom, he uncontrollably started to tremble, he could still smell her, his eyes instantaneously crossed the room, suddenly he felt weak, and ached inside, it was an unbearable ache, one that he couldn't or wouldn't even begin to allow himself to go there, not now, not yet, he told himself - she'll be home, and all this will just be a big nightmare that I will awake from once I see her beautiful face. I know she'll have a logical answer to this, and I will feel foolish for getting so upset.
He sat down at the bottom of their bed, looking out at the hallway, he felt tired, drained beyond his years,
all he could think to do was pray, so he did so, out loud.
"Dear God... Please have mercy on Laura and I, let her be okay. I need her Lord, I need her so badly, I need her Lord because I am so desperately in-love with her - we are one! Please don't take her from me, I beg of you, I can't live without her
...

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