Prayers

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I cry to Thee,
and
Thou
dost not
answer me.
[Job 30:20]
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"Lord, could You
give me some POINTERS?"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

(Peer up at ceiling.)
(Squint.)
"Oh.
That's right.
I forget.
English isn't Your
First Language."

[CHUCKLE!]

"I'm not talkin' about
the VERB 'to point'."
(Purse lips in squinty thought.)
"I'm talkin' about CLUES."

[NOD.]

"HINTS!"

[SMILE.]

"Things that'll HELP!"

[NOD.]
"With what,
My precious."

"What d'Ya THINK
I'm TALKING ABOUT:

my....PRAYER LIFE!
MY PRAYER LIFE!"

"What of it,
little one."

"It STINKS!"

[GENTLE REPROVING FROWN.]

"I don't MEAN it SMELLS,
LORD!"
(Impatient reproving frown.)
"Have You ever thought
about taking an ESL* COURSE?"

[BURST OUT LAUGHING!]

"I'm SERIOUS!"
(Squint up at ceiling fan.)
"When I say something
'stinks', in THIS context,
I mean....."

[PATIENT NOD.]
"Yes, child.
I know."

"You must have a lotta'
big DICTIONARIES,
up There, Lord,
huh."

[SMILE.]
[GAZE AT NEWEST
NASA PHOTOS OF THE SUN.]

"Or, do You have a
LAPTOP?"

[PATIENT PAUSE.]
"Child, what is it
you wish to ask Me,
about prayer?"

(Chew on some weird
Banquet-box-microwave-stuff,
trying to figure out what
it is.)
"DO YOU have a LAPTOP,
LORD?"

"Is that what you
wished to ask Me,
child?"

"YEAH, why NOT?"

[PATIENT SIGH.]
[WATCH THE NEW PRESIDENT
WALK DOWN THE HALL FROM
THE OVAL OFFICE TO THE
FAMILY'S PRIVATE QUARTERS.]

(Thoughtful squint.)
"The only advice I can give
You, is whatever Ya do:
DON'T BUY a Dell PRINTER!"

[PATIENT SIGH.]
[LISTEN TO A COW MOOING
SOFTLY, AS IT SETTLES DOWN
IN A WARM BARN, ON A COLD
TEXAS NIGHT.]

(Grimmace!)
"THEY STINK!"

[GENTLE CHUCKLE.]

"YEAH!
ALMOST as much...
as my PRAYER LIFE!"

[NOD.]
"Ah.
I see."

"Ya see WHAT?"

"What is really bothering
you,
My child."

(Yell up at ceiling.)
"Oh, YEAH?"
(Sarcastic smirk!)
"Ya wanna LIST?"

[STERN VOICE.]
"Shhh, child."

"Sorry.
I didn't mean to be so SASSY."

[GENTLE FROWN.]

"I'm sorry."
(Shameful silence.)

[NOD.]

(Peer hopefully, up
at ceiling.)
"Maybe, that's why
my prayer quota's
so bad.....huh?"

[SIGH.]
"Child, what
have I told you,
before?"

(Squint.)
"Before WHAT?"
(Take off second pair
of reading glasses**.)
"I can't REMEMBER
everthing, You've TOLD
me, LORD!"

[SIGH.]
"That is why,
My beloved...."

(Squint.)
"Why WHAT?"

[GENTLE VOICE.]
"You must
continue
to pray."
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And
when you pray....
go into your
room
and shut the door,
and pray
to your Father
Who is in secret;
and your Father
Who sees in secret
will reward you.
[Matthew 6:5-6]

_____________________________
*English as a Second Language.
**Author keeps procrastinating
about trying bifocals, again.
The last time, she was rebuked
about returning them at the
eye doctor's, by a 22 year old
store clerk. It was extremely
embarrassing.

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