Christian Living

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“Now concerning virgins: I have no commandment from the Lord; yet I give judgment as one whom the Lord in His mercy has made trustworthy. I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress—that it is good for a man to remain as he is: Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you.
But this I say, brethren, the time is short, so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none, those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they did not possess, and those who use this world as not misusing it. For the form of this world is passing away.â€â€”1 Corinthians 7:25-31

Can I save myself? Do I have the merit needed to get to heaven, apart from what God has provided?

I am stupid spiritually, until I heed the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I have no spiritual wisdom without the revelation of God’s word by the same Spirit of God.

So how can I have the resources to find the right life partner? If all would be honest with themselves they, like myself, often think they know what they need in regard to any issue, while God always reveals us to be in error. That error is called, in the Bible, “leaning on one’s own understanding†(Prov. 3:5-6). I believe we can even misuse scripture as a way to get from the Lord what we want. Did not Satan attempt the same thing with Jesus?

Jesus made it very simple for us: “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.†He said this in response to how we seek earthly comforts for ourselves, even referring to needs, like clothing and food. Would that also include the need for companionship?

I would say so. It is noteworthy that He never referred to a “secondâ€. He only said to seek first His Father’s kingdom. There is nothing else after that.

Desires are inarguably a reality. Desires were created by the Lord to fulfill needs. Hunger leads to fulfillment of the need for nourishment. Loneliness can lead to fulfilling the need for companionship.

All desires must be guarded with wisdom and strength; otherwise it would lead to serious regrets.

So shouldn’t the passion of desiring a life partner be guarded and led by the Lord? It seems to me most people, to include a lot of Christians, are led by their desperate passions, leading to dire consequences and sorrows.

If we are honest with ourselves (I will be) we do not have the ability to pick someone to marry. I do not have the innate wisdom and strength to find that right person.

For many of us, marriage may not be a violation of God’s will. Many of those who were once married may be married again, without being at odds with Him. Yet Paul seems to say it is far better to remain as one is. If they are married, do not leave the marriage. If one is single do not seek to change that. If one believes what the Bible says they would know that this present condition will one day change. This present existence is finite and will eventually fade away. The day will come when marriage will not be a necessary institution since God’s children will be with Him.

Matthew Henry writes a commentary on the verses cited above. He states,

“Considering the distress of those times, the unmarried state was best. Notwithstanding, the apostle does not condemn marriage. How opposite are those to the apostle Paul who forbid many to marry, and entangle them with vows to remain single, whether they ought to do so or not! He exhorts all Christians to holy indifference toward the world. As to relations; they must not set their hearts on the comforts of the state. As to afflictions; they must not indulge the sorrow of the world: even in sorrow the heart may be joyful. As to worldly enjoyments; here is not their rest. As to worldly employment; those that prosper in trade, and increase in wealth, should hold their possessions as though they held them not. As to all worldly concerns; they must keep the world out of their hearts, that they may not abuse it when they have it in their hands. All worldly things are show; nothing solid. All will be quickly gone. Wise concern about worldly interests is a duty; but to be full of care, to have anxious and perplexing care, is a sin. By this maxim the apostle solves the case whether it were advisable to marry. That condition of life is best for every man, which is best for his soul, and keeps him most clear of the cares and snares of the world. Let us reflect on the advantages and snares of our own condition in life; that we may improve the one, and escape as far as possible all injury from the other. And whatever cares press upon the mind, let time still be kept for the things of the Lord.â€â€”Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary

I needed God to be saved. It is a work of the Lord when one is redeemed by the Gospel of Christ, and not of man’s doing. Moses’ part in splitting the Red Sea was to simply stand and see God’s salvation. When the man with the withered hand was healed, his part was to simply raise the hand. Jesus and His Father gained the glory.

It seems God’s nature to have us wait for His word, His guidance before we can make a move in any aspect of our lives. Should this not also include a mate?

I suspect that the list we hold onto in regard to what kind of person we should be with should be forsaken, in favor of simply waiting on the Lord. Here also we should lay aside our understanding and trust in the Lord, acknowledging Him in every part of our life.

Would it not glorify the Lord best to wait on Him, let Him bring what He desires for us, as we keep our eyes on Him (not the woman or the man). If He brings us a mate, who will get the glory?

Who should get it?

© 1-5-08

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