Other

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My heart is broken. Last night, my husband said that I have a good heart. It came to me in a flash: I have a broken heart.

I used to think that broken hearts were the sole domain of those who suffer from unrequited love. That was too specific. While there is plenty of unrequited love to go around, I have discovered that broken hearts are caused by inhumanity and the tragic consequences of the "banality of evil."

When I learn how human beings treat each other and how we treat God's creatures and Creation, I cannot stop from weeping. I weep for the pain of those who are victims of "man's inhumanity." I weep for the babies left in dumpsters and for the victims of genocide, for whom there seems to be little or no aid and release. I weep for creatures, for those whom people torture and those whom people kill and bring to extinction's brink and then are pushed over the edge. No return from extinction. I weep for Mother Earth and her bleeding, polluted womb, from which should flow life-giving waters and soil that feeds all living things. These, now threatened with poisons that human beings continue to dump. The seas and the air, all contaminated. I weep for those who valiantly strive to save our resources and our blessed beasts and children.

My heart is split and draining its grief. "Happy those who mourn: they shall be comforted." (Mt 5:5)

Suffering: the ultimate Mystery. Analyzed in the book of Job. Questioned by martyrs and saints after every human holocaust throughout our history. Where is God? I think that God is in my heart as I struggle to comprehend what we are capable of doing. Renaissance--all that is highest and lowest in our natures and our will. God moves in stillness. Mystery. God speaks in silent thunder. Mystery. "Be still and know that I am God."

What is the answer to the question that is suffering? Enter into it, diving to the depths, the horror of suffering. Fall into the wide-eyed sorrow of starving children and the bewildered anguish of creatures (puppies, kittens, elephants, polar bears . . .) Fall deep into the eyes of hate. Let it surround you in all of its unimaginable horror. Know these things. Do not emerge until compassion is all that remains. Rest in the tender strength of Love. Then move toward healing in the small details of one life--yours, mine.

Above all and throughout it all, allow God's stillness and unfathomable love to bubble up from that depth of soul that God always touches. Let refreshing springs of love and mercy flow out of your pores and from your speech and deeds. Change your world and the world will change. But, never forget to weep. Perhaps a broken heart is the best condition. Perhaps only a broken heart can care enough to try to heal the world. Perhaps a broken heart shares in God's broken heart. Maybe all broken hearts suffer from unrequited love. Does God know unrequited love--God's love, unrequited, loving us until we can love God and all of God's works.

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