Humor

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On Sunday mornings in our church one of the great treats are the bags of jelly beans I distribute to the children of all ages after the worship service. It is an honored tradition I look forward to almost as much as the kiddies.

Excuse me, right now, while I pop one in my mouth. It was a red one - a favorite of mine. Can I say "Red Jelly bean" or must I say "Native American Jelly bean?" I'm not up on my political correctness these days.

Not long ago the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage laid down the law on my generous distribution of jelly beans. I may give them out after the Sunday morning service and that's it.

No more of the whenever I see a kid give them jelly beans greeting, as has been my habit.

She mentioned some nonsense about giving the children a sugar-high, whatever that is.

I eat jelly beans all the time and believe me, I rarely get a high. Most of the time the only high I get is, "Hi, how are ya'?"

I do quite well with this new law of hers, that is, until I see some children. I don't really know what to do around children anymore. Before, I simply gave them jelly beans and did not have to rely too much on conversation.

When was the last time you had a conversation with a child?

By the time you've figured out what they are talking about, they've already moved on to another exciting topic. It was much easier when I had the jelly beans and didn't have to carry a conversation.

Despite all this difficulty, I love being around children. I love listening to them, although I don't always know what they are talking about.

A smile, I have learned, goes a long way with children.

Occasionally I'm tempted to go behind my wife's back and slip a bag of jelly beans to some children. More often, than I would like the Misseus to know, I actually yield to this temptation.

All you hear about in the news are the bad kids. For every bad kid there are 99,999 good kids.

God did not make kids bad. The parents did it, or society did it.

Every time you look into the face of any child, you are looking into the promise of God.

Kids do not choose the family they are born into. They have no say in it whatever.

Years ago, my wife and I visited a family in a poor section of the town. The father was an alcoholic and rarely at home. The mother was a drug addict and prostitute. I use the word "family" in the loosest of terms when referring to this family.

When we visited that family, we didn't know what we would find. In fact, we debated whether it was worth our time to even go. Something impressed us to go.

Upon our arrival, we found it worse than we imagined. I've never seen such filth in all my life. To call this place a home was stretching the term beyond the breaking point to the point of verbal abuse.

We didn't want to sit down, but we did. We really didn't know what to say to a woman who couldn't hold a lucid conversation.

Just as I was about to have prayer and get out of that place, I caught a slight movement out of the corner of my eye. Thinking it was a dog or cat I didn't pay any attention to it. I was only thinking of how to get out of that place.

I noticed the movement again and turned my head only to see one large brown eye peering around the corner of a door. I had no idea there were any children in the house.

I turned to the woman and queried, "I didn't know there were any children here."

"Oh, yea," she slurred, "I have a kid."

We found there was a little four-year old girl in the house, by the name of Nancy. At the moment, my whole idea of that place changed. No matter how disgusting the place, we had to do something for Nancy.

Fortunately, I had a bag of jelly beans in my inside coat pocket and coaxed little Nancy out into the room where we were sitting.

I don't think she ever saw a jelly bean before, but when she tasted that first one, she fell in love with my jelly beans.

We went back regularly and little Nancy looked forward to our visit and the bag of jelly beans I always brought for her. It was a great day for me when Nancy sat on my lap and eagerly accepted my bag of jelly beans.

One week we went back and the house was empty. Nobody knew what happened to the woman and her little child who lived there.

Every time I give a bag of jellybeans to a small child, I think of Nancy. She'd be around 30 now.

I was thinking of Nancy, in my office not long ago, as I munched on some jelly beans. I heard a noise at my door and realized some children were coming in, so I quickly hid my stash of jelly beans and swallowed what I had in my mouth.

One of the little boys sniffed a little and then said, "Hey, pastor, something smells like jelly beans in here."

I smiled and immediately a verse from the Bible came to mind, "And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him." (Colossians 3:17 KJV.)

A jelly bean, given in the "name of the Lord Jesus," can pay eternal dividends.

The Rev. James L. Snyder is pastor of the Family of God Fellowship, 1471 Pine Road in Silver Springs Shores. He lives with his wife, Martha, in Silver Springs Shores and can be contacted by calling 687-4240. Rev. Snyder's Christmas book, "Christmas Through A Parsonage Window," is available. Call for details. His e-mail address is [email protected]. The church web site is www.whatafellowship.com.

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