Family

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GODLY FOUNDATION OF CHRISTIAN HOME

Deuteronomy 6:4-7; Psalm 133:1-3; Luke 17:4; Matthew 19:6; Ephesians 5:25
The family occupies a pivotal place in every society and generation. It is indeed the bedrock of the church and the nation. Healthy families produce health churches while
weak families breed weak churches. The spiritual level of the will never rise above that of the family. The nearest thing to heaven on this earth is the where husband and wife, parents and children live in love and peace together for the Lord and for each other. The nearest thing to hell on earth is an ungodly home, damage by sin and iniquity, where parents quarrel and children are abandoned to the devil. In the wisdom of God, the family is the smallest complete unit of the society on the earth. No nation has ever risen higher morally, intellectually or spiritually than the families of which that nation was constituted. All efforts, therefore, at improving moral and spiritual standards in the world , combating crime, infidelity and violence must begin with the home and with the family. Attacking these problems anywhere else can only be temporary. It can only restrain but never result in a cure. God, the author of marriage there design the family to provide ultimate fellowship between one man and one woman, thereby creating a good environmental that will enhance the raising up of godly children. Taking the word “FAMILY” the alphabets give the connotative meaning of the essential ingredients needed for a happy home. These are –
F – Fellowship: In fellowship we have communion. Communicating and sharing
together. This guaranteed and promoted when ‘family altar’ remains strong; a family

that prayer together , stays together.

A – Acceptance: Our psychological and temperamental differences should not be

Allowed to bring strife. Accept each other just as you are and patiently depend up

God to work out the desired change.

M – Maturity: It is maturity that tells you when and how to act. Maturity makes you to

Know that there is a right time to say the right thing to the right person in the right

. place.

I – Integrity: None can raise a godly family without faithfulness, fidelity and integrity.

You must be principled enough to know you boundary of limitation with opposite sex

(apart from you spouse). Be committed to your marriage vow and eschew all forms

And shades of flicit affairs with others

L – Love: Can we have a family without love? Everything in the home revolves around

The love. Where love is lost, the home is wrecked and ruined.

Y- Yielded ness: Even when you are right and your partner wrong, yielded ness, at least

For the sake of peace,, can save from havoc and salvage the family from collapse.

There should be yielded ness to God, to the word of God and to one another at home.

The family life is the life of commitment. The uncommitted and irresponsible man and woman cannot taste or maintain the kind of home we all desire or dream of. To have the home we want, the husband must be committed to pattering his life after the life of Christ. The wife must be committed to personal relationship with God, having inner beauty as her priority and always leaning upon the Lord to draw strength and wisdom.
Then, both husband and wife must be committed to loving their children, leading to salvation in Christ and helping them to develop with active faith in Christ and joyful service to the Lord.

“And walk in love as Christ also hath walk in love, and hath given himself for us an offering and sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling saviour “(Ephesians 5:2). The power that sustains the family is the power of love, and it is just a kind of love that Jesus manifested. How do you demonstrate this kind of love? Jesus gave His life for us as an offering, showing that it is a giving kind of love. This giving is not after being forced, not after a lot of argument and nagging, but out of a willing heart. This kind of love think ahead of time, it thinks of the need of the spouse and children and works toward meeting them, even before being asked. Ephesians 5:25 says “Husbands, love you wife {not as your daddy love your mummy or as your mummy treated her husband but) as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it”. The devil may whisper to you that you are going too far, loving your spouse too much and playing it save at the same time. He may counsel that you go back to the example you saw home when you were young. But if the example fall short of the love of Christ to the church, abandon that pattern and follow the example of Jesus. That is the standard by which we are to love our wives and husbands. If you will not starve yourself then, you should not starve your spouse. If you will not disrespect, dishonour, accuse and criticize yourself (even when you know that your faults) then you can not do these to your spouse. Do you publish all your shortcomings in the newspaper? Do you broadcast over the radio? Why do you then exposing the faults of your husband or wife? In manifest this love, the Bible provides ten positively stated and ten negatively stated commandments i.e. there are ten do’s and ten don’ts of love.

Ten Do’s of love

Care one for another 1Corinthians 12:25

Forgive and be kind to one another Ephesians 4:32

Honour one another Romans 3:10

Serve one another Galatians 5:12

Consider one another Hebrews 10:24Bear one another’s burden Galatians 6:2

Have compassion one for another 1Peter 3:8

Edify one another 1Thessalonians 5:11

Submit one to another Ephesians 5:21

Prayer for one another James 5:16



Ten Don’ts of love

Please not yourself Romans 15:1

Defraud you not one another 1Corinthians 7:5

Grudge not one another James 5:9

Judge not, condemn not Luke 6:37

Be not bitter against each other Colossians 3:19

Speak not evil one of another James 4:11

Revenge not Romans 8:17-21

Answer not foolishly Proverbs 26:4

Follow not that which is evil 3John 1-11

Provoke not to wrath Proverbs 10:24



In addition, there are individual shortcomings on the path of both spouses which deprives us of the home we want?



The problems of the wife:

Transferring all domestic duties to maid and forgetting that a maid is meant to help, not to take over from her.
Excessive attachment to her mother and extended family members.
Apathy towards her personal appearance , inability to tidy up the house or prepare a good meals
Resentment about what she does not appreciate in her husband, leading to carelessness and casualty in relationship.
Loneliness and self-pity.
Lack of control of the tongue – complaining and criticizing.


The problems of the husband:

1. Lack of love - Harshness and callousness.

2. Selfishness in spending (spending to satisfy greed rather than need).

3. Unwillingness to leave parents and dependants and cleave to his wife.

4. Neglect of the wife for friend (having more attachment to friends than his wife).

5. Supporting and spending for his own relations while neglecting the relations of his wife.

6. Lack of communication – deliberate hiding of information.

7. Lack of care and attention – having no respect or concern.

8. Lack of appreciation (always finding faults with her)

9. Callousness in attitude which prevent him from listening to her or identifying with her the emotions and shielding her from fault-finding in-laws.

10. Playing no active role in the training and spiritual upbringing of the children, does leaving the heavier loads to the weaker vessel (the woman) bears the lighter load.

11. Joblessness with no serious effort to be gainfully employed.

12. Making delay in child-bearing an unpardonable sin of the wife.



Though these problems are in exhaustive and all encompassing, they are not without solution. This solution comes when there is love. i.e. sacrificial and serving love, the love that will give self, time, energy, and resources.

No doubt, we need the help of the Lord in raising and maintaining happy and blessed homes. It is the home we want and there is enough grace and supernatural power for it. As husband and wife, you will need to get together and talk things over. Forgive each other and let the past be totally forgotten. Apologize to each other and resolve to solve all your problems. Then take time to pray together, God will answer your prayer and make your family better. It’s not too late yet, you can begin again.

Akinbowale Isaac Adewumi
www.devinehome.blogspot.com

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