Prayers

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May God
be gracious
to us
and bless
us.
[Psalms 67:1]
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(Whiny, throaty,
West-Philadelphia-nasally
voice.)
"L......O.......R........D?
Are You gonna
HELP me with this
T....H.....I.....N......G*?
Or.......WHAT?"

[PATIENT SIGH.]

(Impatient frown!)
"YOU know I'm CRANKY,
in the MORNINGS!"

[SOLEMN NOD.]
[PATIENT FROWN.]

(Squint.)
(Sip.)
"How come COFFEE
never TASTES as GOOD,
when WE make it?"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"Ya know what I MEAN?"
(Sip.)
(Nudge curious nose of a
cat, away.)
(Drip some coffee onto
scruffy bathrobe.)
"It EVEN tastes BETTER,
if you just pick UP a cup,
in the MORNING....from
the GAS station;
Ya KNOW?"

[SOLEMN NOD.]
[PATIENTLY WATCH SOME
BLACK BIRDS FEEDING ON
AUTHOR'S NEIGHBOR'S
WEIRD-LOOKING LAWN
WITH ALL THE NEWLY
PLANTED PALM PLANTS,
AND WHATNOT.]

"Hey.......L....O.....R.....D?"

[CALM VOICE.]
"Yes,
My beloved."

(Screechy, whiny voice.)
"Are You LISTENING
ta' ME?"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"WHAT?"
(Sip some more.)
"I can't...... HEAR YOU!"

[EXTREMELY PATIENT VOICE.]
"You can hear Me,
fine,
child."

"Uh UH!"
(Sip.)
(Push cat's nose away
from cup, again.)
(Pick up another cat,
and set on lap.)
(Nosed-away cat nips
bare toe of author.)

[PATIENT, LOVING NOD TO
ORNERY CHILD.]

"Hey.......WHAT're YA
GONNA GET ME
FOR CHRISTMAS?"

[CHUCKLE.]
"Me."

(Puzzled squint.)
(Thoughtful squint.)
"Ya know......I could
REALLY use a new
MICROWAVE! THIS one's
just about HAD it."

[PATIENT GAZE.]
[WATCH THE MOON GENTLY
DISAPPEAR FROM THE SKY
ABOVE SAN ANTONIO.]

"Hey, LORD?"

"Yes,
My precious."

"SO?
(Cranky look up at ceiling.)
Are You gonna answer
my PRAYER,
or WHAT?"

[GENTLE CHUCKLE.]
"Which one,
My beloved."

"ALL of 'em!"

(GENTLE FROWN.]
"You need to be
more specific,
little one."

"WHY?
I thought You could
HEAR all my THOUGHTS,
ANYWAY!"

[PATIENT SIGH.]

"What's the POINT?"

"Prayer and supplication,
Mein kinder."

"What's.....Suppli-CA-tion?
Is that some NEW WORD?"

"No."

(Cranky grimmace.)
(Sniff Quaker Oats'
cinnamon oatmeal.)
(Push cat's
cinnamon-oatmeal'd**
nose away.)

"What IS it, ANYWAY?"

[GENTLE FROWN.]
"Read My Word,
child."

(Grimmace!)
"Right.....NOW?
It's way too EARLY!
ICH!
Hey, I'm gonna go back to BED!"

[PATIENT GAZE.]
[PATIENTLY LISTEN TO
MORNING NEWS ON CNN.
WATCH A COMMERCIAL
ABOUT CHRISTMAS SPECIALS
AT J.C. PENNYS.]

"REMEMBER?
It's my MORNING OFF!"

[SOLEMN NOD.]
"I remember,
Mein kinda'lah."

(Yawn.)
(Scrap last bit of
cinnamon-oatmeal with
cat-licked spoon.)
"You DO?"
(Squint.)
"That's WEIRD."

[GENTLE SMILE.]
"You still don't know
Who I AM,
child."

(Big yawn.)
(Really whiny voice.)
"YEAH!
I know Who Ya ARE,
LORD!"

[SMILE!]
"Who,
child?"

(Smile!)
"The One Who's
gonna get me
my new MICROWAVE
for CHRISTMAS!"

"Oy vey."

"I'm goin' back ta'
BED, LORD!"
(Set oatmeally, sticky
bowl on floor.)
(Cat comes over to
sniff and lick it.)
Hey, LORD?
Can You ask angel MICHAEL
to send me a CHRISTMAS CARD?"
(Sassy smile up at air vent.)
Ya know: one, maybe,
with his PICTURE
on it?"

[PATIENT FROWN OF A LOVING FATHER.]
[SHAKE HEAD IN CONSTERNATION.]

"SEE YA!"

[LOVING GAZE.]
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I will sing
and make melody
to the
Lord.
[Psalms 27:6]

_________________________
*Some ne're-do-well problem
the author has: nondescript,
and continual.
**The author has always been
a strict disciplinarian with her
animals. Just ask her ex-husband.
He used to drink his coffee,
every morning, with cat hairs
floating in it.

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