Christian Living
Larry Lilly's Letter Wednesday November 5, 2008
I spent Monday evening and the bulk of Tuesday morning from about 2:30 until voting time working on the 'final' edit of my book, "Lasting Friendships in 30 Days." I am trusting the Lord that this my first complete commercially published book will touch many lives for Christ.
As with any undertaking, the more you work with it, the more you wish you had said this or that, and I should have put this quote in the book. A speaker or writer should always be enlarging his coasts, so I have another book on friendship in the making. I stumbled onto this statement from Ralph Waldo Emerson and it is a show stopper, at least for me:
"A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud."
The idea of "thinking aloud" before friends is for most people at the least a little scary. To be present when a friend begins thinking aloud is an awesome experience, and you are, whether you are aware of it or not, being exposed to the deepest possible trust one human can bestow upon another. By listening to a friend "think" you are being treated to an experience that is taboo among even the most cultured among us.
We are taught from earliest childhood to "keep your own counsel" or to "mind our mouth" to "think before you speak" and to be very careful about being totally honest concerning "private matters." For the most part the above advice and variations are good, but to be such a close friend that another opens up to you; mark it down that you have received a trust that all groups on earth call sacred.
To reveal the "thought aloud" thoughts of one who trusted you with such a precious part of their life is somewhere near the highest treason. Such thoughts must never be repeated and never used as a basis for judging the giver of such gems.
Thinking aloud is dangerous and when you are subjected to the "aloud" thoughts of a friend, you will without doubt discover a flaw here and there. Note the following as to how you must respond if you are a true friend:
"All men have their frailties; and whoever looks for a friend without imperfections, will never find what he seeks. We love ourselves notwithstanding our faults, and we ought to love our friends in like manner." Cyrus The Great
I don't know how to teach you to develop a "thinking aloud" friend. I can teach people how to BE one. If you are not a person of integrity, one who is under control, thus not needing the fleeting approval of some supposed superior, or the group, thinking this approval may be gained by sharing the innermost secrets of others; it is doubtful that you will make the grade among people that are worthy of your friendship. If the listed qualities are lacking in you others will not consider you worthy of such a relationship. No one in their right mind really trusts a gossipy person with their "aloud thoughts."
A very wise man wrote:
"A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter." Proverbs 11:13, Solomon
Larry Lilly Copyright © 2008 Use with credit
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