Poetry

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What does it mean to be saved
But not free
Does it mean I've let go of sin
But it hasn't let go of me

Is it going to church every Sunday
Sitting on the first pew
With my mind wandering here and there
Hollering my amens and hallelujahs all on cue

Is it having the appearance of a halo overhead
Seemingly having it all together
But internally still struggling, twisted, and tangled
And not really feeling entirely better

Feeling a bit confused
Because I feel I'm giving God my all
Secretly still drowning inside
Every Sunday being first to run to the front for alter call

Standing at the alter, face filled with tears
Completely mystified
Because I'm still harboring feelings of
Unforgiveness, anger, bitterness, and pride

Because as a Christian I'm doing
All I know to be done
But still feel bound by these feelings
That often creep on

I spend daily time with the Lord,
Read my bible, fast and pray
But still there is that old mind-set
That keeps getting in the way

How can I be a Christian
And still feel like this
Once I gave my life to Christ
Shouldn’t there just be an earthly bliss

Now that I'm living a Christian life
I shouldn’t still feel set apart
I shouldn't still be harboring
All these ungodly feelings in my heart

I cry out, "Lord I've surrendered myself to you
Soul, mind and body;
So why are these feelings I felt before
Still on the inside of me?"

The Lord speaks:

All these years you’ve been not just in sin
But you’ve been sinned against
You're still oppressed
From all those past experiences

You're breaking the hold
The devil has on you
But you’ve got to break the one
You have on him too

Just like Lazarus being raised and loosed
So that he could be free
You’ve got to be loosed in your mind
And claim your victory

Look at where you're going
Instead of where you’ve been
Celebrate who you are now
Instead of who you were then

It doesn't happen overnight
But over time
You'll be transformed
Only by the daily renewal of your mind (Romans 12:2)

Copyright 2008

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