Family

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As many of you who know me i have been an Uncle since age 9, since i was adopted my two sisters are 13 and 16 years older than i am and were both married at young ages. This presented me with 1 nephew at age 9 and my second nephew at age 11. This brought me lots of responsibility and made me think very differently than the typical 9-11 year old because of how often i was going to be around my nephews. Of course with my sisters being so much older it was like having 3 Mom's since they thought they could try and give me advice all the time haha. Either way they meant the best, but in this course of life they definitely talked with me since they knew how much of a potential impact i would have on their kids lives. Being as my two older nephews and i are closer in age than my 2 sisters and I, it was quite the experience growing up with them through my teenage years. I saw many changes in myself compared to the other kids my own age since i was put in the situation i was in. I made sure to be extra careful with my actions and tried to be the best role model i could so i wouldn't be the one to blame if they learned some sort of aweful behavior.

I did what i could in my years growing up with them and spent more time with them then i did any of my friends. I didn't tend to venture out to far being as many of my friends took a turn for the worst over the course of the teenage years. The things they all picked up just weren't what i wanted to be apart of especially knowing my Nephews were keeping an eye on me since i was their closest friend. They both were my best friends and i owe a lot of my growth to the sake of them being around. I don't know how things may have been different, but i am glad that i can't find out. I wouldn't change having them around for anything.

The thing that was difficult and has separated the relationships that we once had was my journey to college. My nephews were 6 and 8 about to turn 7 and 9 when i went off to college and were heartbroken to see me go (according to their parents). I missed having them running around and playing games with them while i was gone, but i knew i had to move onto this next stage of life to better myself. Well now that college is over and my nephews are 10 and 12 approaching 11 and 13 they are two totally different individuals as anyone would be given that change of age. I didn't come home much over my college career so our relationships didn't really carry over and it seems like we grew apart. Plus with the fact that the 10 year olds Dad walked out on his family doesn't help his attitude any. While the oldest one's Father can be quite hard on him at times.

This puts me in a tough situation because i am use to being the cool Uncle/Best friend now it seems i have to be in the disciplinary/elder role in order for them to pay attention and change for the better. The oldest one has a good relationship with his Father for the most part, but seems to look to me now that i am back for lots of things. The other one still sees his Dad on a weekly basis, but his Dad is so far gone out of a legitimate role that there just isn't anything there for the poor kid in the male department of a parent. Given i have been around them more and am still currently home looking for my career i have been put into this new challenge out of no where.

These two changed my life and helped me look at things deeper within myself when they first came along, i guess this is my turn to help them do the same. I just hope that it isn't too late because i haven't realized their needs throughout the course of this whole summer really until now since i have been so focused on moving onto my next chapter in life, which to me now is completely selfish. This little enlightenment has struck me quite hard recently because i know that there are more important things to focus on rather than being frustrated in this career search. These two young gentlemen need me more than ever at these crucial times in their lives. It is just difficult to adjust to the changes in our relationships due to the separation we had for the last 4 years.

The oldest is going through his "major" change process within his body, while the other is dealing with the reality of his parents being divorced and separated for the rest of his life. I imagine it isn't quite pleasant when your Father is consistently trying to mentally manipulate you into despising your Mother who is doing everything she can to provide for you while also taking care for your baby brother all alone for the most part. I need to step up to the plate and again grow up a little quicker than those around me my same age in this matter. I need to transform this role of an Uncle into something that has yet to be ventured to.

I need to be there for them and help them grow to teach them that they need to do the same for their younger siblings who on both sides are 2 years old. Growing up is a constant process and there is always something any individual can improve on. I am wondering if anyone else out there is going through a somewhat similar processes in their life ? If anyone has just recently caught something in their life that needs their improved attention? I know that i have been overlooking a lot of things close to me and in part know i can be better and WILL be better, hence my status on my profile.

No matter what your situation is i hope you all are open to it and accept it. I know that it takes time to fully invest into changes such as these, but i am ready as i hope you are in your case. I don't know the true meaning of writing this, i just felt the need to elaborate on it... maybe someone else can relate or maybe i just needed to put it onto the computer screen to read over again for myself. Whatever the case, there is always a pressure when change comes into play no matter who's eyes it is in.

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