Humor

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It was one of those dreary rainy days, which precluded doing anything outside that I decided to treat myself to an afternoon nap. It is not something I do often, but not for lack of desire. It is just that whenever I get all situated for a nap the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage spies me and says, ''Since you've nothing to do how about...''

However, today was different. We were in the middle of a tropical storm and all we could do was snuggle down and wait out the storm. The only things on television were political programs highlighting the upcoming presidential election. The reason we only have political elections every four years is that is about all the public can stand. Especially this public person.

No sooner had I dropped off to sleep when I began having a dream. It was the craziest dream I have ever had.

I was in this huge room and the band was playing, ''Hail To the Chief.'' I looked around to see in which direction the president was coming only to notice that everybody was looking at me and clapping. To my great astonishment, I discovered that I had been elected president of the United States. That explains the great deficit in my checking account lately.

My first day in office I pardoned all the faux paus made during my campaigning, which I am sure were many.

After my first week in office, I had to hire a secretary for the night shift. At 3 a.m. every day the phone rang and when I answered it a woman on the other end was laughing hysterically. What this country needs is a president who can get a good nights sleep.
Then on to the major focus of my presidency. I called out the Army and surrounded the Capitol buildings in Washington, DC. The Air Force patrolled all the space above the capital.

As soon as the military was in place a loud buzzer her rang and all of the doors in both the Senate and the Congress burst open and pouring out of those doors were people yelling, ''Hurray, hurray, hurray.''

It did not take any political strategist to know the both the Congress and the Senate were in recess. It was then that my promise to the American people kicked in.

I step between the military and the hordes of the Congress and Senators and held up both hands, and yelled, ''Stop.''

There was a great deal of confusion does all of these politicians fell over each other in a grand State of bewilderment. The Senator from that state stood up and inquired about all this nonsense.

While all eyes were on me I slowly asked,'' Where is everyone going?''

The Senator from the State of Bewilderment said, ''It's recess and we're all going out to play.'' When he said that everybody cheered and yelled and high-fived each other.
I raised my hand and called for everybody to be quiet. Then I spoke to them. ''Do you have all your homework done?''

''Homework?'' A chorus of politicians sang.

''You all,'' I explained as calmly as I could, ''came to Washington to do the work of your home constituency. I will not let you have recess where you can play until you get all that homework done.''

Groanings rippled all over the vast sea of politicians.

The Senator from the State of Confusion spoke out, ''We've done a lot of work and we deserve our recess time.''

''There will be no recess or playtime until all of your homework is done and handed in. That's what you came here to do, that is what you get paid to do, and from now on your work comes before play.''

All of a sudden, there was a mighty uniting of every politician. The Congressmen from the State of Emergency led the protest.

He yelled as loud as he could, ''What do we want?''

All the politicians responded, ''Recess.''

''When do we want it?''

''Now.''

For the first time in the history of our country Democrats, Republicans and Independents united into one single cause. The political rally was deafening. For a moment, I feared for my life. Even the military men behind me were highly nervous.

I raised both hands and cried, ''Stop, stop, stop...''

Suddenly I felt a violent shaking I thought the crowd was mauling me. Then I heard a familiar voice break through the haze of unconsciousness.

''Wake up, you're having a dream.''

Slowly I opened my eyes and when I was able to focus on my surroundings, I discovered that I had been having a dream... or rather a nightmare. One thing I have learned in my life, never horse around with the nightmare.

When all of my senses were fully aroused and I discovered I had not been elected president of the United States, I let out a deep sigh of relief. As a patriotic American, I salute my flag and pay my taxes.

As a Christian, I do what the apostle Paul encouraged.

''I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; For kings, and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty.'' (1 Timothy 2:1-2 KJV).

Without the earnest prayers of believers, the dreams of this country will turn into one big nightmare.

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