Short Stories
The chain reaction
I stood before the Judge to receive my sentence. I had assumed that passing on would be problem free. I thought this would be easy but it wasn’t. He reviewed my case thoroughly, too thoroughly. I began to sweat and squirm.
He pushed a button, lowering a screen so that I could see the effect my deeds had produced. So much for privacy, my every move had been recorded by a home surveillance system I had been unaware of.
There was my wife, Casey, coming home with the kids. She had gone out to her family’s to give me some space. I had not felt like going even though she had insisted I would have fun, that it would take my mind off of things. I had chosen to stay home and wallow in pain.
My dog, Chelsey, had met her at the door, barking in a frenzy racing back and forth throughout the house. Casey frowned, I could actually hear her thinking how odd Chelsey was behaving, she was acting way to erratically and hyper for her advanced years. I already missed Chelsey. She had tried to get into the room with me when she heard…....a loud explosion.
Casey then twitched her nose, there was an curious smell in the house, not musty, not…..She proceeded to the bedroom to question me about the weird scent. Opening the door she found the bed messed up with the Kleenex I had used heaped up and scattered about. I had been in intolerable pain from my migraine and did the unmanly thing of crying while I was alone, presumably unobserved. She called out my name before she noticed….it. She picked “it” up. I had not wanted to see this, that is why I had left it there and departed like a coward. I had loved her to much to see her in agony. I closed my eyes but that was useless. The Judge ordered me to watch. I could not believe this, where was his infamous mercy?
Casey read. Then read again. Then she screamed for my sons! “No, Casey, don’t do that,” I yelled, unheard. What in God’s name had I thought would happen. Did I really think they wouldn’t find out? What a idiot. Fourteen year old Brad was the first in the room. Casey thrust the paper at him and yelled for him to find me while she grabbed the phone to dial three easy numbers; 911. No Casey! Don’t leave this up to Brad! This wasn’t the way I thought events would unfold. Obviously I hadn’t thought.
Brad read the note, gasped, and ran from the room, calling for me, scaring our twelve year old Kyle, who was temporarily clueless, playing a video game. I now wished he would stay clueless, stay young. I wasn’t looking forward to seeing his reaction. In nano seconds he would grow up too fast and loose interest in his game, in any games for a long time.
Brad opened the bathroom door adjacent to the master bedroom, glanced in; nothing. Then he carefully pulled back the shower curtain. He was faced with a bombshell! He found me. Or rather he spotted my feet and the shot gun’s handle. He crossed his chest with his arms and slowly backed up. I didn’t want to see this! I didn’t plan on ever seeing this. The pain from the constant migraines and shotgun explosion in my chest were nothing compared to a father’s pain of watching a son go through this turmoil. I observed both my sons, my wife and my dog as they all responded to the discovery. My dog already knew. She slipped into the tub and eased her head down on my thighs. The Judge observed me. It was observation tag. I felt naked down to my very marrow. My blood ran cold. My blood wasn’t running.
Casey was being joined by her family on the front lawn. The paramedics had removed everyone from the house, now called a crime scene. Yellow tape was encircled around my home. Vehicles with red flashing lights and loud sirens abounded. Casey’s sacred private world was no longer. Everyone up and down the street were gathering on lawns, observing, speculating, talking. Worse, they were tsking, as word circulated. Casey was several people now rolled into one, a scared woman, a hysterical woman, an angry woman, a woman in denial. I was crushed. I was being judged. Not by God anymore, by myself. I knew what I had done and I wished I could reverse everything. Impossible.
A loud wail penetrated my reverie. I was not going to be spared a single detail by the Judge. He kept a surveillance on my emotions as my mom appeared on the scene, well rehearsed for her role. This was after all only her second child to succumb to defeat. Well, buck up mom, there are no more to do this to you. My twenty six year old sister, Amber, committed the same atrocity I just did seven years ago, after her boy friend dumped her. I remember the anger we had all directed at her. The questions left unanswered despite the lengthy note she had written. The lack of closure. In a perfect world every one has to have closure. Unfortunately, self inflicted death wouldn't happen in a perfect world; the world I was trying to gain entrance into right now. I was being detained interminably at the pearly gates, so I could face the consequences of my deeds by watching my family fall apart. Once on the inside I'll finally feel no pain, but I won't be allowed to enter till I experience all my family's grieve, I was in a sort of purgatory, a holding tank for rebels..
The Judge sighed heavily. All this despondency was ripping him up. He snapped a finger and a host of white suited personal appeared and dived down to earth, infiltrating the area about my house. Engulfing my family. The clean up crew. They would be responsible for the after shocks of my conduct for years. They had been around when Amber did this to us, I realized now. I actually recognized a few of the heavenly host. They had appeared in the form of counselors, friends, American Red Cross volunteers, support groups. Thank God. There was his infamous mercy being shown to my people.
Then the Judge pointed his long finger at me, extending out from a long billowy sleeve, finally allowing me through the blood stained gates, to the main street, paved in gold and lined with fruit trees. I was told to take nothing with me to the other side. I was permitted in but I couldn't bring any rewards with me. They had been burned, tried by fire and melted. I had lost all but my soul. There was his infamous mercy, being shown to me, the least deserving of all sinners. There was my sister, Amber. The questions I had planned to throw at her when next we meet? Gone. Relieve had flooded my soul, I had been accepted
I wasn't in heaven long before I was astonished to see I had visitors. My mom, Casey, Brad, Kyle...one by one they crossed into the courtyard, before the throne. All came up minutes apart, but decades older. Time had ceased up here to such an extent that their lifetimes had passed in fractions of seconds to me, though it had taken them a lifetime to join me. They had suffered during their earthly journey, with recriminations, phobias, fears, tortured nights, but now.....Heaven at last for all. And pain shall be no more.
Exodus 12:21-28
Psalm 30
John 10:28
Roman 14:10
1 Cor. 3:9-15
2 Cor 1:3-7
2 Cor. 5:10
1 Thes 4:15
Hebrews 4:11-16
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