Testimonies

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All statements in this article are taken from the book titled:
"Living in the Hope of My Imagination"

ISBN: 978-1-60702-367-8
Written by William D. Simpson
Copyright 2007
All Rights Reserved
http://williamsimpson.org

This is the first chapter of my book.....


Influence By Design


Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. EPHESIANS 1:4 (NLT)
God has an expectation of the man He intends for me to become.....

If this statement is true, why did so many bad things happen to me? My childhood was supposed to be a time of learning how to trust and having the experience of each youthful imagination become reality, but what really happened created the emotional scars on a boy who was abused. And the price that I had to pay for the many wrong decisions I made was the loss of my innocence and youth. I don’t have any memories as a child when I wasn’t angry and knowing the damage that was done by people I learned to hate, created an expectation of what I believed to be all I would ever know. This is why so many people today are of the opinion: “What right do you have to try and tell me what some obscure book says is the way I should live?”

I know you, who have had a beginning like mine. You’re mad and have built walls so high in defense of pain that not only can no one get in, you cannot get out and it hurts. You live with this shame always having to justify how you respond to the circumstances your mind creates. On the surface you look normal just like everyone else, but deep down inside lays a wounded imagination lost in the memories of physical abuse and the words that crushed your confidence. To never feel the touch of another person’s affection, hear their words of approval or experience the warmth of a smile has made you believe that you have no value as a person. Nothing in life is what your innocence imagined it would be and every day has become survival. You try and hope for change only to get knocked down time and time again always reaching for what is just beyond your grasp in an attempt to not feel ashamed, while using alcohol and drugs to help deal with the pain. Despising that image you see in a mirror knowing you have become like those who shaped what you now think of yourself. People who know you do not understand the demons you fight and they stay away.

And to those of you who’ve had the privilege of being born to good parents and given the opportunity to grow up in an environment that created an awareness of self-worth and knowing how other people should be treated, what is your excuse for the person you have become? If this is you, what I’m trying to do is help you understand the world people like me live in and why you and I think and act the way we do. I don’t envy you anymore because our worlds are really not that far apart. What you are not familiar with has become the places, the people and the things you avoid and you’re quick to judge another person who is not like you. You’re educated and the income you earn is above average. You have the house, the cars and all the toys, your social clubs that cater to an ego that’s inflated and conversations are all about what another person didn’t do to try and make yourself feel better about you. Your world has become vain and nothing and no one is what it seems. You live at an income level that your bank account cannot afford and the pursuit of what you think is material happiness has cost you everything.
And you did everything that you were told was right! You earned a Bachelor’s Degree and PhD’s from people who are as clueless as you, and then poured your life into a career that has left you broken as a person and void of having done anything of lasting value for your family or the people who you thought cared about you. And what do you do to fill that void? The same things I did! You drink alcohol and use drugs and you pursue every other means of escape to not have to deal with the pain. So you see…..there is really not that much difference between you and me. You may have been born a different color or maybe you’re from the up-side of suburban America but you want the same things I do and like me, you’ve searched for it in all of the wrong places. What goes around comes around and it hurts, doesn’t it!
Misery attracts its own and you don’t know who to talk to because everyone in the circle of influence you choose to be a part of struggle with their own issues and are in no position to challenge you and give the support that is needed to overcome what is in your past. So you go through life never realizing the choices you make imprison, “What Could Be” to that inner image of insignificance!”
My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. HOSEA 4:6a (KJV)

Most people today regardless of the environment they grew up in live their life only thinking of themselves. It’s all about me, my and mine and what can I do today to satisfy me. Mad at the pain of yesterday, while reaching out to everything that passes by with a faint hope of, “Maybe this will make me feel better?” The person, the situation or whatever inebriating substance you choose might be different, but its result will always be the same. No peace, no happiness and no fulfillment, nothing but another empty day! And this is not the will of God!
You must not have any other god but me. You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind or an image of anything in the heavens or on the earth or in the sea. You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods. EXODUS 20:3-5a (NLT)

What could I do to overcome a feeling of insignificance has been a question left unanswered because I never had an opportunity when growing up to learn the truth. And as a result of my ignorance, my potential was never realized and this is a definitive description of the American people today. I lived a miserable life and it was not until I came to the end of me that I discovered the answers to all of life’s questions are hidden for those who will make an effort search them out.
The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our sons forever, that we may observe all the words of this law. DEUTERONOMY 29:29 (NLT)
It was a study of the Bible that brought correction to what I thought of myself and taught me how to become the person I had always hoped to be, free from the influence of my past. And the time has come that you stand up and say, “No More!” What is more important than realizing the peace of mind that God has made available to those who will make an effort to look past life as they know it for what it could be?
I am leaving you with a gift-peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. JOHN 4:27 (NLT)
What negative image do you have of yourself you would not be willing to overcome to enjoy a feeling of self-worth and the confidence that comes when knowing your life has purpose? To one day look in a mirror and like who you see. This is a desire every person should have but sadly, most do not! My challenge to you: “Will you dare believe if shown a way to become who you hope to be?” You Can! But to do this you must learn the truth about who you really are to no longer be influenced by what the enemies of God have intentionally misled all of the American public into believing. Through the conditioning of each new generation, our God given freedoms and constitutional rights are being taken away and we are not far away from becoming a Godless socialist society.
For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. PROVERBS 23:7a (AMP)
Where there is no vision, the people perish. PROVERBS 29:18a (KJV)

The majority of people today have no clue as to what is really happening and for those of us who have taken the time to be made aware of this evil, educating others is the priority. Regardless of the consequences to your person or reputation! Take a really good look at what the American culture has become and then ask yourself: “Does how we live really have any meaning or value?” If you cannot answer yes to this then my question to you: “Are you willing to do what is necessary to change?” I really hope you do!
For those of you who had an experience in life similar to mine, have you ever wondered why you made it through and did not lose your mind? Could it be that just maybe what God wants you to do is use the experience you have learned from to give hope to someone else? It’s not for you to understand or even question why life happened to you the way it has. I believe God is leading you by an unseen hand to a conclusion of not being the one who is in control and when a decision is made to surrender all of who you think you are; life as you know it will forever be changed. “What you choose to do with your experience reveals true character and this is what defines who you are!” If there is still somewhere deep down inside of you a child like faith that wants to believe hope has not been lost, then allow God the opportunity to heal your pain. And through a process of overcoming the experience, He will then reveal the purpose you are here to influence.
I made all of the wrong decisions and wasted years of my life doing anything I could to try and feel better about myself. And it was not until the writing of this book did I realize that same time given to a study of what God has to say in the Bible, would have brought correction to what I thought of me much sooner than later.

It’s my hope as you read this a decision will be made to do the one thing that will transform your life and give you the knowledge to find good in everything that turned out for your wrong. And then you can see clearly to help someone else.
And be constantly renewed in the spirit of your mind [having a fresh mental and spiritual attitude], And put on the new nature (the regenerate self) created in God’s image, [God like] in true righteousness and holiness. EPHESIANS 4:23-24 (AMP)

If you so choose, this time of study learning about what God has to say will answer questions that you will never figure out on your own. God’s greatest desire is to complete you as a person and it’s through your life being forever changed that God can now reveal the message of hope and eternal salvation through Jesus Christ to lost and hurting people. For those who know you and people that have had an experience in life like yours, there is no greater example to create hope than this. Your transformation can be a bridge for others to cross over through a discovery of their purpose in life. There are people who need to hear what you have to say, who can only relate to you. “The gift of what God has to offer in this life is meant to be shared with others, you being an example of what hope acted upon can do.” There is a higher calling to answer!
I once thought these things were valuable, but now consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith. I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing with his death, so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead! I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. PHILIPPIANS 3:7-14 (NLT)

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