Bible Studies

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And, Zechariah
said to the angel,
How shall I know this?
For I am an old man.....
And the angel answered
him,
I am Gabriel,
who stand in the presence
of God;
and I was sent....
to bring you...good news.
[Luke 1:18-19]
***********************
"Lord, I wish You had
talked to me........"

"About what, precious?"

"Huh?
Well: before You wrote That."

"Wrote what."

"THAT!
The BIBLE!"

"Ah.
[SOLEMN NOD.]
I see, My precious.
[THOUGHTFUL PAUSE.]
And, what would you
have changed,
Mein kinder."

(Grimmace!)
"Well, ALL of IT!
ECH!"

[NOD.]
"Well put."

"I'm SERIOUS, Lord!
Not to mention, how hard
to READ it is, but......."

"Can you read, child?"

"Barely.
The thing about getting
older is, you can't read any
of the tiny print anymore:
so, who CARES what's
in the stuff I'm eating,
ANYHOW?"

"I do."

"Yeah, but I DON'T!
So WHAT?
What: so, I live to see
gas prices get up to FIFTY
DOLLARS a GALLON?
Who CARES?
Big DEAL!"

"Read My Word, beloved."

"I don't feel like it.
It's a horrible world, out there.
Driving home, I saw a poor
little, stiff raccoon on the road.
And, I hate watching the news.
I really hate it."

[SORROWFUL NOD.]
"I know, child.
Read My Word."

(Shrug.)
(Pout.)
"Yeah; what, THIS part?

It is written:
Man shall not live
by bread alone.
[Matthew 4:4]

Yeah, but.....LORD!
We can't LIVE without
GAS in our CARS!
And, what about these
poor ANIMALS?
What about all this
FLOODING?
And, these POWER hungry
POLITICIANS?"

"Finish, child."

"You mean this LITTLE
part at the END?

...but by every word
that proceeds
from the mouth
of God.
[Matthew 4:4]

Yeah, but.........everything
You say is scary, Lord."

[CHUCKLE!]
"Everything, precious?"

"Mostly; like....... yeah."

[SMILE!]
"Look."

(Squint up at ceiling fan.)
"WHERE?
The JEWISH Part is all BAD!
And......the CHRISTIAN
Part is...............
(Frown.)
(Squint.)
It's too.....FORMAL;
there's no Jewish humor in It."

[LAUGH!]
"Is that what you think,
little one?"

"Yeah."
(Squirm.)
"Well, the first Page is okay:
where You make all the planets
and bees. But, the rest of It
is pretty disgusting: I mean,
the OLD Testament! A lot
of it's really MORBID!"

[NOD.]
"Read My Word, child."

"And......the NEW Part: I
really don't know what they're
talkin' about, half the time.
Why would I wanna' CROWN?"

[PATIENT GLANCE.]
[PATIENT SIGH.]

"What would I DO with it,
ANYWAY?"

[PATIENT LOVING SMILE.]

"And, I STILL don't get why
that mean angel cursed
Zechariah just cuz he said
he and his wife were too old
to have a kid. I mean, why
didn't that angel Gabriel
just say 'Mozel Tov!',
and be on his WAY?"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]
"Read My Word,
child."

"Yeah; I guess.
(Kvetchy frown.)
Although, I still wish
You had consulted me."

[SOLEMN NOD.]

(Look up at ceiling.)
"Ya know: before You wrote
It, and all."

[NOD.]

"I would'a had a lot more
pages about the bees....
and the little raccoons."

[QUIET NOD.]
"I know, My beloved."

"Particularly, the bumble bees:
they're really cute."

[SMILE.]

"I didn't really mean that,
Lord: You know, that
everything You say is scary."

"I know, child."

"Sometimes, what You say
is nice."

"Good.
Just read My Word, child.
And.......
find It."
**********************
Do not be anxious
about your life.......
consider the lilies
of the field......
[Matthew 6:25-28]

_______________________
(Author's note: the word, 'raccoon'
comes from a (Native North American)
Algonquin word, meaning 'he scratches
with his hands'. According to the
Humane Society of the United States,
raccoons are at least as intelligent
as cats and dogs. They are one of
many 'synanthropes': wild creatures
who have adapted pretty well to
living among the suburbs.)

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