Prayers

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Remember that Thou
hast made
me of clay,
and
wilt Thou
turn me
to dust again?
[Job 10:9]
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"Lord?"

"Yes, child."

(Unusually reverent
gaze up at ceiling.)
"I appreciate You
Helping Out in that
recent potentially
bad situation, the
other day.
(Clear throat.)
Eh.....I really appreciate it."

[NOD.]

(Kvetchy grimmace.)
"But......is that IT?"

[PATIENT NOD.]
"Is what it, child."

"Ya know: it for
the YEAR?"

[PATIENT SMILE.]
"What is,
My beloved?"

"My QUOTA!"

"What quota,
My precious."

"Ya KNOW!
My PRAYER quota!"

[SOLEMN NOD.]
"Ah, yes.
[PATIENT SIGH.]
I see."

"WELL?
Should I just quit
PRAYIN' now:
for the YEAR?
Or, WHAT?"

[SIGH.]
"What is most important,
My beloved?"

(Thoughtful squint.)
"Eh.......that we get a
SMART President
in the White House,
for a CHANGE?"

"No."

"You mean, we should
get another STUPID one?"

[SIGH.]
"No, My beloved."

"Yeah?
Why NOT?
Hey, LORD?
Are You gonna help Hillary become
Vice PRESIDENT?
I think that would be a
big COUP for WOMEN!"
(Big smile up at the air vent.)
So.....what was the
QUESTION, again?
I forget.
I'm just wrapped up in
all these politics;
I forgot all about my
prayer life."

[PATIENT SIGH.]
"Think, child."

"Eh.......about what:
I forget."

"Think."

(Squint.)
"Ya mean about
what's IMPORTANT?"
(Grimmace.)
"Marrying somebody that
ain't gonna flick ya off
his shoulder like a piece 'a LINT?
Like a piece 'a grimey MOLD off his
bathroom TILE?
Like a piece 'a smelly GARBAGE
in his trash CAN?
Like a dirty KLEENEX in his
jacket POCKET?
Like spitting out a pesky FLY that
just flew into his mouth?"

[LONG SILENCE.]

"Sorry, Lord; that just slipped
out. I know Y'ur really
Big into this Forgiveness Thing.
Don't worry about: it's okay.
Somebody's gotta be the
schlamegels of this world;
I understand."
(Nod wisely up at ceiling fan.)
(Squint up at cobweb in the corner.)
WHAT were we talkin'
about?"

[STERN FROWN.]
[SLOW NOD.]
"What is most important, child."

"Eh.......I dunno:
havin' money 'ta pay for GAS?
Stockin' up on RICE?
Takin' pictures of the
POLAR BEARS, before they
all go EXTINCT?
Askin' all the Presidential
CANDIATES to live like
a typical, lower-middle-class AMERICAN
for a couple WEEKS?
Stop wonderin' why there's
a Lord up in Heaven Who
doesn't seem to CARE
about us?
What, Lord?
WHAT?"

[REBUKE OF A SIGH.]
"Tell Me, child."

(Deep sigh.)
"That I STOP worrying
about gettin' my PRAYERS
answered?"

[WISE NOD.]
"And?"

"Eh.......
(Bite on nail with the
least chipped nail polish.)
......I DUNNO, Lord!
Ya know: I'm not SMART,
like YOU!"

[PATIENT PAUSE.]
"To pray, child:
Pray."
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For He
will complete
what
He appoints
for me.
[Job 23:14]

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