Gospel

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My Grace
is sufficient.
[2 Corinthians 12:9]
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"Hey, LORD?
Where's my GRACE?"

"Right Here, child."

"Where; I don't see nothin'."

"Here, child."

"I don't SEE nothin', LORD!
(Squint nearsightedly up at ceiling.)
I thought You were supposed ta'
like, give me all this GRACE to
get THROUGH?"

"Through what,
My beloved."

"Through WHAT?
LORD!
What have Ya been DOIN',
up There, anyway?"

"Taking care of you,
My child."

"You HAVE?
WELL!
Ya could've fooled ME!
HECK!
That's what I SAY!"

"Well said, My child."
[SMILE.]
[PATIENT PAUSE.]
"Read My Word,
beloved."

"Ya mean that part about
SAUL?
(Squint.)
I mean: PAUL?"

[NOD.]

"Hey, LORD?
Why are Ya always changin'
everybody's NAMES?"

"It is a Mystery,
My beloved."

"YEAH?
So, eh.....what's
MY new NAME:
(Laugh!)
'PLOTZNIK'?"

[LAUGH!]

(Laugh!)
"So...You talkin'
about that part where that
Paul guy asks You
to HEAL him?"

[PATIENT NOD.]

"I dunno where it is,
Lord.
(More squinting.)
(Spoon up some pineapple sherbet.)
REMEMBER?
I wasn't brought up
CHRISTIAN!"

[SMILE.]
"You can read,
My precious."

(Shrug.)
"Barely; I still haven't
figured out how my
relatives got across
that desert for 40 years,
with my terrible eyesight."

[SMILE.]
"They followed Me,
My precious."

(Shrug.)
"Yeah; I guess."
(Feed kitty a spoonful of sherbet.)
"So, eh......where's this bit
about PAUL, anyway?"

[CHUCKLE.]
"Look, child!"

"Isn't that the part
where he kvetches
about that THORN
in his SIDE?"

[PATIENT NOD.]

"Yeah; Christians
are always tryin' to
figure out what it is.
(Big smile up at ceiling.)
I think it was just a lotta
acid indigestion,
and heartburn."

[SMILE!]
[CHUCKLE!]

"Yeah; it probably
started right on that
muddy road to Damascus."

[CHUCKLE!]
"Why do you say
muddy, child?"

"Well......weren't they
ALL muddy in those
days, LORD?"

[PATIENT NOD.]
"Find it, child."

(Grumble.)
(Lots of pages turning.)
(Talking under breath.)
(More grumbling.)
"HEY, LORD!
I FOUND IT!
HERE IT IS!"

[NOD.]
"Read it, child."

"And to keep me
from being too
elated by the
abundance of
revelations,
a thorn
was given me
in the flesh......
to harrass me....
[2 Corinthians 12:7]

Hey, LORD?"

"Yes, My beloved?"

"This New Testament is
so poorly ARRANGED!
How come Paul just
didn't put the
two Corinthians TOGETHER?"

"Because I said so,
child."

"Oh, yeah;
Okay.
Yeah; whatever.
SO?
So, what does this
MEAN to ME, LORD?
(Squint.)
So, like.......You gave
me all this heartache,
and grief, and MISERY,
and PAIN.....
so that I wouldn't
think too MUCH 'a MYSELF?
Was THAT IT?"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"Yeah, but....LORD!
I DIDN'T think too much 'a
MYSELF, to START with!
Ya could've just saved
Yourself the TROUBLE!"

[CHUCKLE.]
"Keep reading, child."

(Read.)
(Frown.)
"Well.....it says here that
Paul said he asked You
to get rid of his indigestion
or whatever it was.....
but as usual You said no.
So, what's the big deal
about THAT? You
ALWAYS say no, Lord!"

[PATIENT SIGH.]
"Read, child."

(Squint.)
(Read.)
"So?
Well, it says somethin'
about You giving him
all this grace.
(Laugh!)
(Turn face up at ceiling fan.)
Why didn't Ya just
toss him down some
PEPTO BISMAL,
LORD? Wouldn't
that have made more
SENSE?"

[PATIENT SIGH.]
"Oy vey."

"I agree, Lord.
'Oy vey' is right!
So, what's this gotta
do with ME? Why'd
Ya make me such 'a
WEAKLING?"

[SILENCE.]

"And, WITHOUT grace!
Hey, Lord; Ya know,
I've only gotten LESS
graceful the more
I've gotten to KNOW You!"

[PATIENT NOD.]
"Grace, child: Grace."

"Yeah; I got non'a that,
either. What IS grace,
ANYHOW?
(Squint.)
The Torah
never really goes into
that, Lord."

"I know, My precious."
[PAUSE.]
Keep reading, child.
[SMILE.]
[NOD.]
You're getting a little warmer."
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Three times
I besought the Lord
about this,
that it should leave me;
but He said
to me,
My Grace
is sufficient
for you,
for My power
is made
perfect
in weakness.
[2 Corinthians 12:8-9]

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