Faith

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In distress
you called,
and I
delivered you;
I answered you
in the secret place
of thunder;
I tested you
at the waters
of Meribah.
[Psalms 81:7]
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"Lord?
Did they have LEMONADE
in Your day?"

"Which day, child."

"Ya know: YOUR Day!"

[SILENCE.]

"Not that day to come,
Lord: Ya know, with all
the Bowls and all.
(Smile up at corning of ceiling.)
That OTHER day: at B.C.!"

[CHUCKLE.]
"Ah."

"WELL?
DID they?"

"Why do you ask,
precious."

"I can't believe people
just drank warm water,
night 'n day;
Ya know?"

"Warm water?"

"Well.....yeah; there
wasn't a refrigerator,
or anything."

(SMILE.)
"Yes, but there
were deep wells,
My beloved."

"So? Does that mean You DID
have LEMONADE?
(Impatient silence.)
(Spoon some pineapple sherbet,
right out of the plastic container.)
Hey, LORD?
Who was it that made up that
stupid saying about the
LEMONADE?"

[SMILE.]
"Which one, child?"

"Ya know: that stupid
thing about having lemons,
or no lemons.....somethin'
like that."

[LAUGH!]
"What lemons, child?"

"Ya know: that stuff that
makes us really unhappy,
or in pain...or....very sad."

[GENTLE VOICE.]
"And what stuff is that,
little one?"

"HUH?
Well, Lord......where have
YOU been? There's, like,
people SUFFERING,
all over the WORLD!"

[GENTLE NOD.]
"Yes, child.
[NOD.]
Sin."

"Uh UH, LORD!
It's not all cuz of SIN!
That's STUPID!
(Squint up at ceiling.)
How could SIN cause
an EARTHQUAKE?
Or, CANCER?
Or, TSUNAMIS?
What about all those
melting ICECAPS,
and those starving POLAR BEARS?
HUH?
What did all those POLAR bears do,
ANYHOW?
And, what about
those little kids
that died in CHINA?
In that big EARTHQUAKE?
HUH?
How did THEY sin?
What did THEY DO?
That's a bunch'a BOLOGNA
And, KOSHER BOLOGNA,
at that!"

[LONG SILENCE.]
[PAUSE CURIOUSLY.]
"KOSHER, child?"

[Roll eyes sarcastically.)
"Well, YEAH, Lord!
Don't Ya REMEMBER?
That part in ACTS:
when You said somethin'
about Your not bein'
KOSHER, anyMORE?"

[LONG SIGH.]
[WHISPER TO SELF.]
"Oy. THAT, again?"

(Shake head, dispiritedly.)
(Spoon up melting sherbet.)
"I know Y'ur not gonna
answer me, Lord....."

"Not now, child."

"Well....hey, I'm
not gonna CARE,
after I DIE, Lord!
....'Won't matter, THEN!"

[AGGRAVATING SILENCE.]

"You still haven't answered
my lemonade question, Lord.
DID they.......or DIDN'T they?"

[SILENCE.]

"I don't think you guys had
lemonade back then, Lord;
there wasn't any sugar,
or nothin'. They didn't even
invent sugar till after
Christopher Columbus discovered
the Bahamas."

[SMILE!]
"Who made the sugar, My beloved?"

"Eh.....well, it was Americans,
wasn't it? They made everything,
that was important!
(Smile!)
You mean....it was YOU?
Nuh uh, LORD!
(Point up at ceiling.)
It was the AMERICANS!
(Puzzled squint.)
(Thoughtful squint.)
Well.....whoever first made it:
You just can't have lemonade
without sugar.....or at
least, some of those pinkie
packets. They've invented
Splenda now, but it just
doesn't have that zip like
the pinkies do."

[CHUCKLE.]

"About that stupid saying,
Lord........"

"Yes, child?"

"The whole problem with
that is: if ya only get
a bunch of lemons......
how are ya gonna make
the LEMONADE?
(Squint at the melted mush
in the sherbet container.)
The thing is, ya also have
to have water and sugar, too.
Ya KNOW?"

"Yes, child."

"WELL? Don't Ya see
why that saying's so
STUPID?"

"No, child."

"WHAT?
What d'Ya MEAN?"

[LOVING GAZE.]
"You provide the sugar,
child."

(Frown.)
(Silence.)

[GENTLE VOICE.]
And...
I will provide the
Water."
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I would feed you,
with the
finest
of the wheat,
and
with the honey
from the rock....
[Psalms 81:16]

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