Christian Living

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Larry Lilly's Letter Tuesday April 29, 2008

An old saying has it:

"A friend walks in when the world walks out."

When walking in or out is used as the definer of true friendship, most of us admit to having very few friends, yet this definition is a valid barometer.

A survey, non-political, stated:

"Seventy percent of pastors do not have a close friend, confidant, or mentor. Ninety-five percent of pastors do not regularly pray with their spouse."

I believe the above statistics are very close to the truth. Factor this in and do you wonder that every group is uneasy whenever the subject of ministerial infidelity is broached? It is observable that people can know each other for fifty years, yet this alone does not mean they are friends, confidants or mentors. They are just someone that you "know of" rather someone you know. Surely you understand the vast difference.

In my not so humble opinion, I haven't had a humble opinion for years, the best thing that can happen to a man if he is going to insist on being ninnified, is to have t least one friend, one confidant and one mentor with whom he prays regularly and this one person in a perfect world would be his spouse. In my own experience I have discovered that when I am getting along well with the Great Blonde, other relationships seem to be more enduring and strengthening.

One true all weather friend is light years better than a roomful of acquaintances. The most likely person to fill this bill is certainly the wife you have chosen or the one to whom you surrendered, or even the one whom you married because she was rich. A good woman will love you when the world is cussing you and most marriages that have any time under their belt should have produced a great aura of trust for the other.

I decided years ago that my best friend is the girl who wears the ring I bought her in the long ago. Thankfully I have other friends, many in the ministry and some others in different fields, but I accept the reality that were I to really make a mess of things Joyce and Jesus would still be there. I hope some of the others would also stand by me. I know from brutal experience that often people who still like you, will go along with others who try to hurt you, or who will remain silent when others are skinning your hide figuratively. I do recall the account of a man who in the midst of a group of clergypersons who were "eating me for lunch" spoke up and said, "You may say what you will about Larry, but he has been my friend for years, and he still is my friend." WOW. I hope I will always BE that kind of friend.

I am thankful that over the course of a long marriage, (44 years this August) filled with many of my failures, Joyce has, in the darkest of times, put her tiny hand on my shoulder, brushed back my hair, (this was some time ago) and said; "Honey, I tried to tell you." Ah, such a friend.

Larry Lilly Copyright © 2008 Use with credit.

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