Grief

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February 25. It went down in my history two years ago as a sad day. The day that death came and robbed the world of a truly beautiful and precious woman.

Gramma. I vividly recall her smiling face; those graceful smile lines creasing around her eyes and mouth. It was impossible to not love her. It’s hard to believe it’s been two years since she left. It seems longer than that, yet the pain of her sudden departure is still so fresh that whenever I sit down to pen my most precious memories of her, it is through a haze of emotion, my thoughts smeared with tears.

There’s the memories of the times I managed to claim the coveted seat next to Gramma at church, being little enough that my lace-frilled ankles hardly extended past the edge of my chair, and softly paging through her big, worn, blue Bible that took up my entire lap and then some.

The taste of her summer staple—cucumber salad, is still a pungent memory to my taste buds. Not to mention her amazing strawberry shortcakes.

She was one of those people who managed to touch my life without even trying to. She laughed when I laughed, cried when I cried. She supported me through every phase of my life. There were times I was making foolish choices and wrong decisions, yet she never stood in my way; instead she loved me and prayed for me, and hugged me when I came through—a little wiser with a praying and perceptive Gramma to thank. How I appreciated her.

There are so many sweet things that come to my mind when I remember her, and the beauty of her smiling face will never be erased from my mind.

As the years took their toll and her health began to fail in a significant way, I watched Gramma grow stronger. She was a tenacious woman. She loved the unlovable, reached the unreachable, and lived a life of constant giving. She kept those smile lines fresh and vibrant.

I’ll never forget the times I stayed with her when she was sick, helping her pay bills, listening to her favorite program with her—Unshackled (produced by Pacific Garden Mission), and listening to her talk. I had so much to learn from her.

Scripture tells us that God will make all things new, and that our mortal bodies will put on immortality, and that there will be no pain or suffering in heaven. It thrills me to think of Gramma dancing around heaven, no longer leashed to an oxygen tank, no longer struggling for breath; having a new body and singing with a voice as strong and clear as the angels. But when I get there, I hope Gramma still has those smile lines on her face. They added so much charm to her beauty here on earth, that I want them to be on her radiant face next time I kiss her cheek.

I love you, Gramma.

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