Return to Content
Read Our Devotional
Opportunities to be Published
The Home for Christian Writers! Matthew 6:33
ENCOURAGE AUTHOR BY COMMENTING
Add to Favorites
Not For Sale
Author requests article critique
More than anything...I just wanted to be done with this life. I would lay in bed and beg the Creator to cease my breath. Just let the noise in my head quite to silence and let me sleep eternally. I was tired. Tired of living up to expectations and tired of trying. I knew there was no way I could be acceptable to the people that were important to me. I had failed and could not find a way to become worthy again. Others treated me with insignificance and I believed I was, in fact, insignificant. If my existance did not matter. Why stay and continually suffer in this fallen world.
Every day, as daylight pierced my eyelids, I became angry with myself for failing to die in the night. The closer I awoke to consciousness, the more disappointed I became. My wish had not been granted...I was alive and I was awakening to the life I did not want. I began my day, mad at the world and upset the day had begun at all. I didn't see a purpose or reason for my existance. I had given up all hope and had no desire to take breath. But my body betrayed me with every exhale and took in another without my permission.
Loveless and selfish, I closed myself off and fed on my sour grapes. The bitter taste of seclusion soured my belly and broke my own heart. There are ways to crush an already broken heart. Those self inflicted wounds were saltier than the earlier wounds at the hands of others. I cried tears until exhaustion kidnapped my consciousness. I would awaken unable to open my eyes from the tears that rolled down my face while I slept. I tried to take my own life and failed without anyone's knowledge. I know total despair and broken-ness. I felt totally alone and unable to receive joy or peace. That is when I turned to the Lord and asked Him a simple question. "Why?!"...It was all inclusive: Why did these things happen to me? Why is this all I have? Why am hurting so badly and for so long...Where were YOU and Where are YOU?!
He answered me in a manner I did not expect, but in a way I would know it was only God answering my question. He revealed to me that we don't always go through things or experience things for our own sake. He answered me in a way that made me sure I carry vital medicine good for someone else's heart. I can understand some types of pain and soothe specific wounds. He even turned my sour grapes into wine.
When I reflect on the times in my life and use my experience to help someone feel love and strength I get joy and peace. How beautiful is He to take my pain and my shame and turn it into a gift to be shared with those I meet in need. Healing us all...THAT's LOVE! And that is why I write.
PLEASE ENCOURAGE AUTHOR BELOW
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
Reader Count & Comments
12 Apr 2008
Thank you so much for sharing this. Too many others seem to be in the same boat, but GOD sees each of us differently and HE knows we are somebody...his child. Sometimes it takes us a while to get it....Keep writing and know GOD LOVES YOU SO MUCH.
This article has been read
Read more articles by
or search for other articles by topic below.
Search for articles on: (e.g. creation; holiness etc.)
Read more by clicking on a link:
Main Site Articles
Most Read Articles
Highly Acclaimed Challenge Articles
New Release Christian Books for Free for a Simple Review
NEW - Surprise Me With an Article - Click here for a random URL
God is Not Against You - He Came on an All Out Rescue Mission to Save You
...in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them... 2 Cor 5:19
Therefore, my friends, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you. Acts 13:38
LEARN & TRUST JESUS HERE
The opinions expressed by authors do not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
FaithWriters offers Christian reading material for Christian readers. We offer Christian articles, Christian fiction, Christian non-fiction, Christian Bible studies, Christian poems, Christian articles for sale, free use Christian articles, Christian living articles, New Covenant Christian Bible Studies, Christian magazine articles and new Christian articles. We write for Jesus about God, the Bible, salvation, prayer and the word of God.
Link To Us
Become A Member