Christian Living

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The secular view of self-esteem comes from the fact that people think better of themselves than they should. My youngest daughter who is 15 likens it to having a big neon sign over your head that says “it’s all about me!” The sin of pride fits into this as well, when we are proud of our accomplishments and skills and that determines our identity.
One of the things we have tried to instill in our daughters (our oldest is 16) is the attitude of servant hood. Being a servant to others teaches humility which I believe is in direct contrast to the whole self-esteem issue. Some ways we have done this include: visiting the elderly, babysitting for no pay, baking goodies and giving them away, and packing shoeboxes for Christmas. Jesus taught His disciples that “if anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last and be the servant of all” (Mark 9:35 NIV). There is no way to be a servant and be arrogant. A servant is humble. Seeing ourselves as servants helps us develop an attitude of humility.
We teach our daughters to admit their mistakes. We admit our own in front of them. You cannot be humble, if you feel you cannot admit that you made a mistake. Learning to take criticism is very important. It is important for them to learn not to be defensive. If they believe they can talk to their parents about the bad stuff, they are also less likely to lie.
Empathy is another important part of humility. This involves being sensitive to the feelings of others. Some people are more likely to show empathy than others. A person of true character will be sensitive to others without having to “walk in their shoes” so to speak.
It is good to feel joy from a job well-done. However, excessive pride, arrogance or disrespect toward others is not permitted. It is important that we not feel that our accomplishments make us superior. Good sportsmanship is important. Abilities should be used to serve God and others. They should be credited to God and we should be grateful.
In our society, we are so wrapped up in self and the things I need. It is important for Christians to be role model of humility. Don’t think you have all of the answers. Listen and respond and respond with wisdom and kindness. Humility is the best answer to the self-esteem movement and it counters what we learn from the secular world. It is time to take down the flashing neon sign and learn to be other and God centered. When we do this the world will be a better place to live in and to raise children in.

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