Prayers

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Blessed be God,
because He has not rejected
my prayer
or removed
His steadfast love
from me!
[Psalms 66:20]
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"Lord, can You help me with
THIS?"

"With what, child."

"Ya KNOW;
with THIS!"
(Point to object of current petition.)

[NOD.]
"Ah."

"That's IT, Lord?
I thought Ya were gonna
wave Your Hand -
and, make it all BETTER?"

[REPROVING FROWN.]
"Have you anything
more to say to Me, child?"

"Eh......I told Ya early this
morning, Your CLOUDS
looked good, Lord.
(Bite lower lip, thinking
really hard.)
And, eh.......well; thanks
for raining on my dusty
CAR; it really needed that."

[SOLEMN NOD.]

"So; like, HOW many
PRAISES am I supposed
to give - before getting down to
the nitty GRITTY, Lord?"

[SILENCE.]

"WHAT?
Was that the WRONG
thing to SAY?"

[SIGH.]
"No, My beloved."

"Hey, I just say it like
it is, Lord. I feel funny
talkin' to You, the way
all these other guys do;
so pretty, and all."

[NOD.]

"I'm sorry!
It's hard for me to
TALK like that!"

"Try."

"Eh.........yeah, sure.
Eh......(Clear throat)
(Take a sip of rootbeer.)
Uh......well, I think You did
a really good job with
the zebra, Lord."

[BURST OUT LAUGHING!]
"Oh, My child!"

"So, Lord: is a zebra a
HORSE, or WHAT?
I mean, could somebody
RIDE it? Can they,
like, be TAMED?"

[CONTINUE LAUGHING.]

"Maybe, that's what
I need to get, Lord:
a zebra. I bet it'd be
a lot cheaper to
FEED him, than pay for
all that GASOLINE!
What do zebras EAT,
anyway?"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"Although; You know how
I feel about animals.
If I did have a zebra,
I'd name him Zigfield -
he'd never get out into
traffic. He'd just lay around
all day in the grass,
and get really fat."

[WIPING TEARS OF LAUGHTER.]
"Yes, My beloved."

"So......then, I'd end up
paying for Zigfield
AND the gasoline!
Then, I'd be in a REAL bind!"

[SMILE.]
[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"So.....now, we're back
to where we STARTED,
Lord: You STILL haven't
told me how many praises
I should give You, FIRST?"

"How many zebras are
there, child?"

"Eh......I don't think there
ARE any out in the wild,
anymore, Lord.
Are we counting
the just the ZOOS,
only the AMERICAN ZOOS,
including, or NOT
including any WILDLIFE
preservations.......
or WHAT?"

"Everything, child."

"Eh.....then, I guess that's
a lotta praises, Lord."

"Yes, My beloved."

(nod.)

[NOD.]

"I'm glad we had this
talk, Lord."

"Yes, My beloved."

"I just thought of another
prayer, Lord.
(Clasp palms together.)
When, and eh - if -
I get to Heaven,
can I have a ZEBRA?"

"We'll see, My precious.
We'll see."
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Make a joyful noise
to God,
all the earth;
sing the glory
of His name;
give to Him
glorious praise!
[Psalms 66:1-2]
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(Author's note: Zebras
are 'equids', or wild cousins in
the horse family. At the
San Diego zoo, they eat
hay, alfalfa, and carrots.
Zebras can run up to 35 miles
per hour, and also have
a kick that would knock
the socks off ya.)

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