Grief

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Sometimes I find myself getting so caught up in the chaos and evil all around me, I can hardly stand it. Then I find myself trying to block it all out so it won’t affect me, but after a while of blocking the world out, I forget how to feel and how to love.

I forgot how to use my heart.

Without a heart, without love we are only the walking dead.

So what is God? He is love, and without God how do we love.
If we have no love inside us how do we show love?
Where are the fruits of the spirit?
Are they rotten or are they ripe and pure, sweet and full of flavor and character?

In my broken condition, I realized I had numbed myself to the world and forgot what I was here for, what I was living for. I’d forgotten to love people, to care and pray for those lost, that they will soon be found. I realized life will turn you cold and before you know it you’ll have no love inside just bitterness and hate.

The last few days, I’ve felt so miserable and wished I could runaway somewhere where my life would have meaning. Away from all the violence, evil, hate, drugs, addicts, and thieves that I find myself surrounded by.

But today as the sun shined down on my face, and I felt warmth in my heart, something I’ve been missing, I saw these people are just as cold and heartless with no feelings to spare for anyone else but themselves, and realized I was looking in a mirror.

I realized I look just like my enemy. So my mission today is to touch someone that is cold and needs warmth and light upon their face. Today I want to reach out to someone that just wants to be noticed. Today I will share Jesus.

© Dara LaMance March 27, 2008

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