Boy, am I tired. Somebody put me out my misery right now.
You have to understand. It had been a busy day all around. My dad had me working in the store early that morning. During the day, I had spent a considerable amount of time in my studies. You see, the religious leaders where I live are given a certain amount of respect. If you know the scriptures and can help others understand them, it helps you in not only understanding yourself, but being able to provide better for your family.
Anyway, after my studies I had to go outside and help in cleaning out the pens for the animals. This is backbreaking work, for in Troas the sun can get up there and burn pretty brightly on your back. After awhile, it can seem like it’s putting all its energy on you. This wears you out even more.
After I fed the animals and put them away, I trudged back to the house. Sitting down for dinner, dad told us how we were going to a meeting that night. This was pretty unfair, because a friend and I had planned on hanging out later and talking to some girls. It did occur to me, however, that there might be some where we were going tonight, so I said it sounded good to me. He was pleased by the answer, and told us how an extremely important man who had come from places such as Macedonia, Greece, and Syria would be there to talk to us.
After dinner, I washed up and we went into a different part of town. The building was three stories tall. We walked up the stairs with the rest of the crowd. I entered a spacious room packed with people, some I recognized and some I didn’t. A second scan for females my age showed some distinct possibilities of making new acquaintances later.
Spotting an open space by a window, I went to it and sat down on the sill, leaning my back against it’s edge. The night had begun to turn cool. It was very comfortable and I was reminded of how tired I was.
This brings us to where I am right now. Some of the things this guy, Paul, has said are interesting. I’ve studied the scriptures and heard about Messiah, but what are the odds that he was here just a few months ago and I hadn’t heard about it? He’s building a pretty good argument using materials from the prophets, but I’ve heard similar stuff from others. I’m not a kid anymore...I’m sixteen and pretty sure about what I know and don’t know. Mom, dad, and many others seem to be buying it, but I’m going to need some more convincing.
It’s got to be close to midnight. Really tired... I’ve got stuff to do in the morning... He’s got to be close to getting finished...Girl in the purple shawl is cute...
The last thing I remember is shifting my weight a little to the left and then sensing my body touching nothing. There was an impact and the feeling of an intense pressure on my body. Next, there is Paul standing over me claiming that I’m alive and telling people to not be alarmed. I look around and wonder what in the world I’m doing outside on the ground. Mom and Dad grab me as if I’d just returned from some kind of long journey. We go inside and eat from the assorted dishes brought by the people. It was all a big whirlwind of activity.
I was told how Paul was speaking when his gaze went to the left side of the room and all of a sudden his eyes got big. He ran out the door and bounded down the steps. While he was doing this, a woman who had been on the floor beside my window screamed and said I fell. I wouldn’t believe them at first that I had actually died, but everyone there confirmed it.
Needless to say, I listened more intently the rest of the evening – the meeting actually lasted until morning. After personally experiencing death and resurrection, I now felt a deeper connection to the man Jesus of whom he was speaking. For a brief moment, I had lost everything. I was no longer in the comfort and safety of my friends and family. My arrogance of what I knew and ignorance of what I didn’t know had been made painfully obvious to me. I understood that I didn’t know it all. I understood that Jesus the Messiah had come after all.
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Very interesting. I especially like how you mentioned the building was 3 stories tall, it helps in realizing that the fall was critical and actually killed the boy. Great descriptive words and phrases.
Scott, this was very enjoyable. Good title too! I agree with Camy that you could write more to the end about the death and resurrection, his feelings and experience, etc. But I did enjoy though! Good work.
Great character choice, Scott, and like your title. Agree with others that there is room here to expand the ending and thus the impact of the incident for the character and reader alike. Great Challenge entry!~ Violet
I really liked the build up and the down to earth feel given to the character.
Scott~ Nice title. I really liked these lines as well: "It’s got to be close to midnight. Really tired... I’ve got stuff to do in the morning... He’s got to be close to getting finished...Girl in the purple shawl is cute...", as it shows just how much his mind was drifting. Wonder how many times we've all been guilty of that, and as a result missed out on something pertinent. Good work. I enjoyed this very much. ~Mary
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