Humor

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Give Thy servant,
therefore,
an understanding mind
to govern Thy people,
that I may discern
between good and evil.......
And it pleased the Lord
that Solomon
had asked this.
[1 Kings 3:9-10]
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"Lord, what are we all
gonna DO?"

"About what, My precious."

"About this eh........
upcoming ELECTION?"

"Ah."

"That's all 'Ya gotta SAY?"

[PURPOSEFUL SILENCE.]

"Yeah, I know what Ya mean,
Lord. It's a pickle, ain't it."

[SMILE.]

"Oops.
I'm still back in our
LAST conversation,
aren't I?"

[NOD.]

"Well, it's ALL kind'a
RELATED, isn't it?
I mean, this ELECTION,
the state of ISRAEL,
and Your OWN interests?"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"I know I said I'd never
discuss politics, Lord, but....."

"Yes, My child."

"I'm really asking for Your
Wisdom, here. My choices,
in times past, haven't always
been the best, 'Ya KNOW?"

"Concerning what, child."

"Well, take for instance,
the major I took at college."

"What was that."

"Eh......back in the '70's, they
called it 'Liberal Arts/Non Major'."

[SOLEMN NOD.]

"See what I mean, Lord?"

"I see, My precious."

"Well......the problem is,
if we vote for McCain,
ain't it just gonna be
more of the SAME?"

[SILENCE.]

"Hey, LORD!
GUESS WHAT?
I FINALLY RHYMED!
I DID IT, LORD!
I DID IT!"

"Yes. You did, child.
I'm proud of you."

"Gee, Lord.
It's been almost 52 years,
and You're finally proud
'a me, for SOMETHIN'!"

[SMILE.]

"Seriously, though;
if we vote for him,
we may as well just keep
the same guy in the
White House, 'Ya KNOW?"

[SILENCE.]

"I mean, wouldn't that just be
SIMPLER: they wouldn't
even have to change the
initials on the hand towels,
the plushy toilet cover,
and stuff."

[CHUCKLE.]

"You know that gets expensive,
Lord. Plus, we would still
have a more youthful
President, 'Ya know?"

"Age can be wisdom, child."

"Eh.......not in ALL circumstances,
Lord.
(thoughtful silence)
Look at ME."

[MORE CHUCKLE.]

"I mean, these rich old guys
don't know a thing about
women and kids without
dental insurance. What
d'a THEY care? Heck,
for the all sheckles they've
put into that war, we could
pay for the medical,
dental, AND vision insurance
of every man, woman, and
child in America, the
Bermuda Triangle, and
MOST of the surrounding,
and melting, North Pole."

"North Pole, child?"

"Well; 'Ya know, Lord,
even Santa Claus gets
a tooth ache, now and then.
And, I think, if I'm not
mistaken, he DOES wear
bifocals."

[SOLEMN NOD.]

"Heck, we could even
pay for dog and cat
insurance, too."

[PATIENT NOD.]

"You know how expensive
those vets are, nowadays,
Lord. 'Used to be, 25
bucks would get you a
rabies shot, an ear mite
check, AND a free
dog cookie."

[MORE PATIENT NODDING.]

"Now, you practically have to
take out a second mortgage,
just to walk in the front door."

[SYMPATHETIC NOD.]

"So, do You see our dilemna,
Lord: I mean, about choosing
the next President - not
about the free dog cookie."

"I see your plight, My child."

"WELL, Lord?
Will You HELP us:
help us CHOOSE,
that is?"

"Yes, child.
I will give you wisdom."

"Well......don't give me
as much as You gave
Solomon, Lord."

"Why, Mein kinderlah?"

"'Cuz, that would be
too much responsiblity.
After all, I'm not running
for President."

[SMILE.
NOD.]
"I understand."
****************************
And God gave Solomon
wisdom and understanding
beyond measure,
and largeness of mind
like the sand
on the seashore.....
[1 Kings 4:29]

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