Marriage

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I was driving home last Thursday from Van Wert, Ohio after an eventful day of Nursing Clinicals, and trying to unwind with some worship music from my radio transmitted oasis, WBCL. As I drove, a song came on that I hadn't heard in months, and it sent my thoughts hurdling back through time. It was a harder time, last summer, and I was full of pain, confusion, and hurting spiritually. As most of you probably know, when you are struggling spiritually, the pain affects every aspect of your life.

My wife and I had been fighting the night before and I didn't sleep very well, partially due to the fact that my bed that night was our couch, but also due to the pain and anger that had infected my mind from the rejection my family had experienced at our church at that time. I laid there for most of the night, mind racing, periodically flirting with idea of slumber. Eventually I decided, rather than trying to race the rising sun for a few minutes of sleep, I would just get up and try to prepare for the long, sweaty, dirty, scorching hot day of construction labor I had ahead of me. I was very close to that place where we get sometimes, when all we can do is just sit alone in the dark and weep. I was filled with a deep sadness and I didn't know what else to do than to sit at my computer and bombard my depression with songs of lamentation and praise to my God. I sat there as the sun broke the horizon and wept as I listened and tried my best to worship.

I was startled when the wife that I adore with all my heart, and yet sometimes find ways of hurting, came into the kitchen and quietly began to make me breakfast and pack my lunch for work. I sat there in silence watching the woman, whose heart I broke just hours earlier with my angry and frustrated words, sacrifice her sleep to serve me. It was then that a song I had never heard before filled the air around us.

You Are Everything by Matthew West

I'm the one with two left feet Standing on a lonely street I can't even walk a straight line.
And every time you look at me I'm spinning like an autumn leaf, Bound to hit bottom sometime.
Where would I be without someone to save me?
Someone who won't let me fall?

You are, everything that I live for.
Everything that I can't believe is happening You're standing right in front of me.
With arms wide open, All I know is Every day is filled with hope,
Cause, You are everything that I Breathe for
And I can't help but Breathe you in, Breathe again, Feeling all this life within,
With every single beat of my heart.

I'm the one with big mistakes, Big regrets and bigger breaks Than I ever care to confess.
Oh but, You're the one who looks at me, And sees what I was meant to be,
More than just a beautiful mess.
Where would I be without someone to save me?
Someone who won't let me fall?

You are everything that I live for.
Everything that I can't believe is happening You're standing right in front of me.
With arms wide open All I know is Every day is filled with hope,
Cause You are everything that I Breathe for
And I can't help but Breathe you in, Breathe again, Feeling all this life within,
With every single beat of my heart.

You're everything good in my life.
Everything honest and true, And all of those stars hanging up in the sky,
Could never shine brighter than You!

You are everything that I live for.
Everything that I can't believe is happening You're standing right in front of me.
With arms wide open All I know is Every day is filled with hope,
Cause You are everything that I Breathe for
And I can't help but Breathe you in, Breathe again, Feeling all this life within.
With every single beat of my heart.
You are! Jesus You Are!
Everything to me.

As the song played, I looked at my wife, and something hit me, something profound and unexpected. This song is an expression of adoration for Jesus, because of who He is and how, through his Love, He makes us something more than the world tells us we can be, something better, something closer to what God sees in us. I realized that everything that was being sung about Jesus, in that song, I could apply equally to my wife. Then it hit me, visions of our wedding day, there kneeling at the alter hand in hand, our first dance at our humble little reception, the birth of our daughters, the time we almost divorced, the bad times when I thought we would never make it, and the good times when I've taken on the world for her, and her for me. I thought of words like "one flesh", and "cleaved", and I thought about marriage and of Love. In that moment, I realized why I love my wife. I know that sounds strange, but ask yourself why it is that you "Love" your spouse? It can be a difficult to pinpoint exactly why. What is this "Love"? Why is it that we are so intimately connected? Why does my heart leap when she is near? Why, when she smiles, does my heart sing? Why, when I am "acting" as her husband, either protecting, or providing for, or cherishing her, do her eyes gleam with such adoration? Why, in the kitchen that morning, was I so captivated by her as she sacrificed herself for me, when I did nothing to deserve it? I think it's because that's what God did for me! That morning she was emulating the Good Shepherd that she follows. In those times when I have stood for her and sacrificed for her, I was following the lead of my Teacher. The moments that I Love her so much, are those moments when she is most like the God that I so desperately Love! When we are most "in Love" with each other, those are the times when we most emulate Him to each other!

He created us as man and woman, with our own personalities and quirks, very different and imperfect in many ways, but when we see each other, really see each other, through His eyes, we see that we compliment each other perfectly, so that within our relationship, we somehow reflect an image of God Himself. We are Husband and Wife, two parts of a triune existence, together with the Holy Spirit, cleaved in the Presence of and by the Power of a Holy God. A God that describes Himself best of all as...Love. (1 John 4:8).

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