Humor

---

You can't eat cornbread

Several weeks ago I had a tooth get infected. After a round of antibiotics the dentist pulled the tooth. The only problem is the tooth was near the front of the mouth. He told me I would have to get a partial plate to fill in the gap. . Now I know that the national news media think that all Mississippians are snaggled-tooth, wear baggy overalls, and only take a bath every Saturday night. I know for a fact that this is not the case. My overalls are not baggy! I agreed to have the partial built and agreed on a date to come back to have it fitted and placed in my mouth.

The day finally arrived and true to his word the dentist shoved the plate in place. "It's a little tight now but it will loosen," he told me. Boy was he ever right.

After several days of trying to eat food without swallowing the partial plate, I finally mastered the art of just wallowing food around in my mouth until it gets soft and then trying to swallow. Difficult as it might seem the method works except for steaks, rice, and other foods of which I am very fond.

It was one night after several week of suffering that I noticed the one big drawback to these false teeth-you can't eat cornbread with them. The grains get back of them and it doesn't look appetizing to jerk the teeth out at the dinner table, grab your handkerchief and wipe them off, and put them back in your mouth. This is especially true in a restaurant. My gentle and loving wife threatened me with bodily harm if I ever did such a thing.

I can envision my wife and I on an outing to Pigeon Forge, TN where we often visit. It is getting late, we don't want to eat a big meal, and my wife looks over at me and says "I feel like having cornbread and milk tonight. Lets go to the Apple Barn Restaurant before it gets too late." I agree and when we get there the waitress will ask, "What can I get for you?" My wife will say, "I'm not very hungry, I just want a glass of milk and a pone of cornbread". She turns to me and says, "Sir, what can I get you?" I will say, "Give me the same but hold the cornbread." Life is rough if you have false teeth.

---

PLEASE ENCOURAGE AUTHOR BELOW LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE