Christian Living

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New Year’s Eve 2000

When the millennium came it was a big deal. Y2K they called it. It was such a big event that it had some of us a little scared to see the new year, not knowing what would happen on such a momentous occasion. My husband and I had been saved and knew the Lord, but we were still very new to our faith. We went to a small church at that time, but there was nothing going on there on New Year’s Eve, or if there was we didn’t go. Slipping back into our old habits, we went out drinking and partying until the wee hours of the night. The whole time we were out, I felt sad, but I couldn’t really put my finger on it. I was just not having a good time, but was pretending to for the sake of New Year’s and all my friends that I wanted to show that Christianity had not changed me too much. I was still the same old fun loving person I had always been. I was still cool.

As the night wore on, we became hungry so we stopped at a local Waffle House. We needed to eat, but since it was the only place open it was very crowded. I took a seat at the bar and tried to smoke a cigarette. I don’t know why but it kept going out and I kept relighting it and throwing matches in the ashtray. I was pretty focused on it, not paying any particular attention to my surroundings, when I just happened to glance up.

I saw a girl that I knew. She was working there and I know she recognized me. This was a girl I had been with during many adventures and mischief while I was growing up. At the age of 13 we had been inseparable. After that we had drifted apart, and to my knowledge she had been with several much older men and had been taken to the abortion clinic several times. She had always been a troubled girl and she had been frequent drug user.

When I looked up, our eyes met. My heart ached for her and it was then that I realized I had something she didn’t. I knew the Lord and she didn’t. If you were to see me that night, no one would know the difference between us. Someone might even think better of her; at least she was sober and working on New Year’s Eve instead of striking matches and tossing them into an ashtray every few minutes. I looked at her for more than a moment, but didn’t say anything. I felt so ashamed. I longed to tell her that I didn’t usually act like this; I had been saved and was cleaning up my act. I longed to tell her about Jesus and what he had done in my life, about my husband, my little boy. However, I couldn’t witness in that condition.

For a few minutes I just sat there staring into space, feeling the hurt in my heart and knowing the hurt in hers. Oh, Jesus, please save her. Please help her. Please send someone besides me to tell her. I had failed my Lord. I had failed God and I was just beginning my walk with him.

I realized I was about to cry so I told my husband it was just too crowded and we needed to go somewhere else. I guess by the look on my face, he thought I was really upset by all the people, so we left.

After that night I have always wondered what happened to that girl. I never saw her again. I know Jesus is merciful and he forgives our sins, so I have repented over that night, more than once and more than just for the drinking and smoking. I have repented over lost opportunity, lost time, lost light to a dark world. I know God is merciful and I still hope and pray that He will send someone her way to show her His way. I pray she is saved and happy with a wonderful family, but I will always wonder what might have happened that night, if I had only denied myself the comfort of familiar ways and truly been made new for my Lord.

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