Encouragement

---

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

-Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)


I recently attended a surprise 50th birthday party for a close friend. One part of the festivities included each guest sharing a video-taped favorite story about our friend. One of the guests told a story that included "the birthday girl," another friend and me.


Many years ago, as we were all starting out on our legal careers we asked the young attorney to have lunch with us. During lunch, we shared with her the reason why our bosses were not taking her seriously and promoting her to a position of authority. We told her that she dressed too provocatively and that she needed to lower her hemlines.


As you can probably guess, our "great advice" did not go over well and earned us the nickname of the "Fashion Police." I cringed as I heard the re-telling of the story and wondered what I had been thinking when my two friends and I decided to handle the situation the way that we did.


Have you ever said something that you wish you hadn't said or maybe that you'd said in a different way? After all, what we told our young co-worker was the absolute truth but we handled the situation all wrong.


Speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15)


There's a saying that people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. Perhaps our co-worker would have been more receptive to our advice if we had spent more time getting to know her and building a relationship with her before sharing our information. Most people are more receptive to truth once they know that you care about them and love them.


Build each other up (Ephesians 4:29)


Our words should edify our brothers and sisters. Proverbs 18:21 says that the tongue has the power of life and death. Our tongue has the ability to destroy when we engage in gossip, unhealthy or unfair criticism and careless and demeaning words. My former co-worker was so devastated by the conversation we had with her, she questioned her career choice. Thank God that she didn't allow our lunchtime advice to discourage her from continuing in a field in which she has experienced tremendous success, despite her short skirts.


Live in peace (1 Thessalonians 5:13)


The Word says that we are to search for ways to get along with others. None of us live in a bubble. We have to interact with people in just about every facet of our lives. Using encouraging words can help us live in peace with others. After our little lunchtime chat, my friends and I not only became the new topic of office chitchat, but more importantly, we caused a lot of unnecessary strife and confusion in our office.


The Bible tells us to pray continually about everything. If we're going to be encouragers and if we want to speak life into the lives of others, then prayer before speaking is a must. It's so easy for me to say what I think should be said - and sometimes I'm right. However, if I remember to pray before speaking, I think I'd get it right a lot more often.


My Challenge to You:

Have you ever been accused of beating others up or killing them with your words? Have you been accused of having a critical spirit? Maybe it's time for a self- check. Take a few minutes, go to a quiet place and reflect on Ephesians 4:25-32.


Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.


© 2007 Joyce M. Averils. All Rights Reserved.


Want to use this article on your website or your own ezine? No problem! But here is what you MUST include: Joyce M. Averils, is a Bible Teacher/Speaker/Coach and author of The Busy Woman's Prayer Journal - My Guide to Daily Communications with God. Get your free mini-Bible Study, "The Beauty Trap - Where Do You Get Your Self-Worth?" at Refresh Your Faith - The Online Spa for Christian Women

---

PLEASE ENCOURAGE AUTHOR BELOW LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE