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The Home for Christian Writers! Matthew 6:33

Christian Living

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Mini Challenge I Lilla

by Nancy McHough
12/13/07
For Sale
Author requests article critique

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Lilla sat in a doorway on the side of St. Zita’s shivering. An hour earlier she had been turned down at the shelter; a city ordinance imposed shelter maximums; she along with twenty others had the door closed on them. It was a three block walk to Zita’s; the spitting snow combined with mist to create a mush along the street thus quickly filling her toeless shoes with water.

She gathered up her belongings around her and tried to warm her feet with her coat. She had a rusted paperclip for a button. Cars began to pull up and let off passengers. Christmas eve Mass.

“You can’t stay here.” A voice woke Lilla.

She was used to admonishment and expected to have her body pushed into the street. She tried to reach for her bag.

“I have your bag, come with me, I have a cot you can use tonight.”

Lilla followed. Why argue with warmth. Inside the door was a small storage room with a cot set up. Lilly sat down on the cot and looked for the man. He wasn’t there. “Oh, well, nice of him.”

She slept soundly. The next morning she awoke and stepped outside of the room, the door closed behind her. She sat down on the curb and rubbed her face. “Oh, my bag”. She turned to go back to the room, but there was no door.

“Lilla? Is that you?” Her sister embraced her. “I looked everywhere for you.”

PLEASE ENCOURAGE AUTHOR BELOW LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
Reader Count & Comments
Date
Verna Cole Mitchell 
18 Dec 2007
The descriptions were so good that I wanted to get some warm slippers on.
Beth LaBuff
17 Dec 2007
WHO is this "woman" that writes all these stories? :) Yes, she IS good. Is there really a St. Zita? I love the ending.
Marita Vandertogt
16 Dec 2007
Wow - this is GOOD!!
Janice Cartwright
16 Dec 2007
I like the way the author insinuated grace to contrast with Lilla's street-worn attitude.
Karen Wilber
16 Dec 2007
Cool. I like the air of mystery and the ending.
dub W
14 Dec 2007
Pretty good work for a hack reporter.

The opinions expressed by authors do not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com. This is especially true with articles that deal with personal healthcare and prophecy. We encourage the reader to make their own decision in consultation with God, His Word, and others as needed.

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