Humor

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All day long, I've had this burning question in my mind. One of those questions you just cannot shake and as the day progressed, it loomed larger and larger until I had to address it. Personally, I would like to have address it, put a stamp on it and send it to Timbuktu. I just do not know the ZIP code.

It all began first thing in the morning. Some days try to trick you into thinking it's going to be a good day by starting the day off perfect. Such was not the case with this day.

The amazing thing about this day was it started bad and just got worse as the day wore on. Some days start out bad and then improve by noon. These days I do not mind. I figure the day is trying to play tricks with my mind. I would not mind if I only knew the rules or if my mind could win at least occasionally.

The day began with me oversleeping. It really was not my fault; the alarm clock did not go off. When I looked at my alarm clock, the numbers were blinking indicating sometime during the night the electricity went off. It is my personal opinion the electric company does this intentionally. The electric only has to flicker and all of the digital clocks go on blinking mode. This is a cruel trick perpetrated by our friendly electric company just to show us who is really boss.

When I checked the real time, I discovered I was late. Have you ever noticed when you oversleep it is the day you have an early-morning appointment? Why is it nobody ever oversleeps on his or her day off?

As quick, as I could I got ready. While I was shaving, however, I nicked my face. It was one of those little nicks that just do not stop bleeding no matter what you do. I had blood all over my face even dripping down onto my T-shirt.

I quickly dressed in scampered into the kitchen to grab a cup of hot coffee. In my grabbing, I managed to spill the hot coffee onto my shirt. Now that I am running late, I have to stop what I am doing, run back to the bedroom and get a new shirt. It was a good thing because not only did my shirt have coffee stains on it there was a nice splash of blood on it as well.

I grabbed the keys to the car and dashed out the front door. By now, I was only 30 minutes late and even so, I could make the appointment. When I started up the car, I heard that familiar dinging indicating I was low on gasoline.

There are times in your life when you must make a quick decision. I estimated by looking at the fuel gauge that I probably had enough gas to get to my appointment but would have to get gas right after.

To stop and get gas at this time would cause me to be that much later. I can always get gas after my meeting.

Some educated guesses have never been to school or if they have, they sure did not pay attention.

While driving to my appointment, I was trying to think about the appointment and what I would do and what I would say and all that sort of thing. Even though I was running late, I could be a least well prepared for the meeting. As long as when I arrived at the meeting I was well prepared, all would be right.

Then I heard a sputter. It was a familiar sputter. As I looked at the fuel gauge, it was blinking “Empty.” At the time, it seemed to be a rather sarcastic blinking. In between sputters, I thought I heard a giggle. Cars seem to know when you are late and, most importantly, how much gas is needed to get to your appointment. I think it has something to do with all of the electronic equipment installed in the car at the factory. If it takes three gallon to get to your appointment the car, somehow needs four gallons.

Undaunted by this latest development I coasted the car off to the side of the road and parked it. Looking at my watch I figured, if I put a hurry to it, I could walk to the meeting. Of course, I would be late, but I had a good explanation for my tardiness. Everybody has experienced this sort of a day and so would understand.

I walked as fast as I could, hoping with every step that I would make it in time.

When I arrived at my meeting, I discovered a bit of information that completely floored me.

"I'm Rev. Snyder and I'm here for a meeting." I said between panting.

"What meeting is that?" the secretary asked.

I explained about the meeting and that I was running just a little bit late.

"Oh, Rev. Snyder," she said with a smirk on her face, "that meeting has been postponed until tomorrow.

Walking back to my car a verse of Scripture danced in the back of my mind. "This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it." (Psalms 118:24 KJV).

I rejoiced all the way back to my car.

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