Encouragement

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Only Trust Will Do!

It was a lonely and cold night. Lonely, not for the absence of people around and cold, not necessarily because of a drop in temperature. Despite the serenity and quietness characterizing the night, there was yet an inexplicable noise around. Since sleep has vacated its duty post on my eyelids, I stood up hoping to find the source of the bang in the house. The sitting room remained quiet as it was before I left for bed; other folks in the house are still sleeping. Only the tickling of the clock could be heard! Well.... and the continuous dropping of water from the tap. Save those two, the house was still quiet." Where is this terrible noise coming from?" I asked myself. Suddenly I realized that the banging was coming from a very close quarter and the noise from a point not too distant from me. Whopshsh! I finally realized that it was my head that was the factory of that great noise.
I then sat down.... you see I had been under intense pressure for some time prior to that time. The pressures though majorly internal were now becoming unbearable. And just before I apprehended what was happening.... I busted into tears... hot, uncontrollable tears. I have always been the cool, calm and collected guy who lots of people look up to. I hardly show emotions in the public and I seem to have learnt over time every right word to say in every situation...So, It was a surprise to my humble self...Just as an over bloated balloon burst out with great sounds when too much oxygen is pumped into it, I just broke down and that was it...Mr. always-in-charge actually "dissolved". So my heart started speaking, those things that have been hiding there for a long time started coming out...I was bitter, very bitter. First towards God and to certain people - I had so many questions with little or no answer...Why this? Why that? So many questions with no answer whatsoever.

I have been a Christian for some time now, why am I not having this privilege or that? Why is God seemingly supervising the tickling of His -difficult- to -understand clock while allowing my life to crawl at an unfulfilling speed? Why am I not having this at this age of mine and why am I yet to achieve so and so at this point in my life? So many question that brought nothing but more pains and tears to my heart and eyes.... I can't remember how long I was there that night...but I could sense God not getting angry at me but just as my dad used to do while on this side of the divide, he wrapped his big arms round my shoulders and allowed me to release all those bitterness without arguing with me for a second. After I have emptied all within me, I could hear His whispers of assurance to my bitter heart and like a soothing medicine to bruised a heart, healing started taking place within me.

"I love you,” He said. "And I will always do. I am ever for you! It may not look like it, it may not sound like it but it still doesn't change that fact. I have never forgotten you! Dayo, how I wish you will temporarily drop that garment and frailty that confined you to be human and peep into tomorrow with the spectacle of divinity - an exclusive preserve of GOD, How I wish you could see my plan and purpose for you? How I greatly desire that you will see how I have turned several of your mistakes and disobedience into promotion tools for you.... How I wish...How I really really wish........."

By that time, I have become very sober...I could smell the stench of selfishness oozing out my heart. Very unpleasing even to my own ‘nose’ I have never seen it from HIS angle I have been consumed by " me, myself and I". That night, my focus turned around I was overwhelmed by the release of unquantifiable love flowing from HIS heart to mine...My view about my need changed...From asking questions and anxiety, I moved into TRUSTING.

Today some of those needs have been met, some, I still trust Him for, but come what may, I am persuaded that He is committed to me and in the final analysis whatever wilderness I am passing through now is not meant to consume me.

So, my dear what are you going to do with yo' own questions and anxiety? Crying and weeping won't solve it. It may even increase your aging rate (smiles!).... Learn to lay every weight at HIS feet. In all honesty, HE cares!

Love beyond words,
Dayo

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