Humor
FaithWriters Five Elements Off-Season Mini-Challenge
Rules:
Give me a fictional short story (and I mean SHORT) in any genre at all (knock yourselves out), BUT it must include references to the following:
1. The color purple;
2. A piece of fruit (but the fruit is not to be the purple item);
3. A letter (hmmm ... but what kind of letter? You decide);
4. A D & M conversation (that's "deep and meaningful," for the un-hip among us) between two people. (But that D & M conversation is not part of the letter); and
5. A twist at the end.
The Iceboxing Match
Please don’t try to adjust your refrigerator…changing the cool setting will have no effect on destiny. Resistance is futile.
It was an average kitchen, with your standard appliance-store-issue refrigerator. What transpired was anything but ordinary.
Monday was grocery day. With chicken on Tuesday night’s menu, a hefty four-pound Tyson™ roasting chicken was purchased. He was placed in the refrigerator awaiting Tuesday afternoon’s stuffing and roasting procedure.
Once the door was shut and the light was out, condiments were rearranged. Limburger Cheese cleared out the middle shelf for the evening’s main event.
In one corner wearing purple shorts was the new arrival, Tyson™ Chicken. In the other corners sporting mustard on his lapel was the hometown Hero Sandwich.
The referee entered and advised both contenders of the rules.
The Hero threw the first punch just clipping the Chicken’s wing. The Chicken broke out in goose bumps from the Hero’s crusty uppercut. A knuckle sandwich was delivered by the Hero just at the bell signaled the end of round one.
Rounds one and two went to the Hero. Pitiful described the efforts of the Chicken. The fans responded accordingly. A Tupperware™ burped in the back of the refrigerator spewing raspberries. The raspberries could be heard as they bounced off the walls while a Bronx cheer sounded from the New York steak.
Between the second and third rounds the red chili peppers tried to light a fire under the Chicken. “You’ve got to shake and bake it, man. Todo el mundo knows that your opponent is full of bologna.”
“I‘m getting grilled, but he‘ll be toast soon enough.” crowed the Chicken.
With one final attempt at exhortation, the chili peppers said, “Well, don’t let him wring your neck. Now get off your tail and do something.”
Round three began as the Chicken flew into a rage. The Hero was dazed and for a time appeared to be one sandwich short of a picnic. It looked like a TKO for the Chicken. Just as the referee began a standing eight-count the Chicken did something no one anticipated. The Tyson™ Chicken grabbed the Hero Sandwich and took a bite out of him. Cries of “fowl, fowl” were heard above the referee’s whistle. Immediately the bout was stopped and the Chicken was plucked from the ring and disqualified.
***
Tuesday evening, dinner time: The aroma of roast chicken wafted through the house. A quizzical eyebrow arched as the cook removed a scrap of purple cloth and a part of a bologna sandwich from the chicken’s anterior cavity along with the cornbread stuffing.
We now return control of your refrigerator to you.
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Good fun!
You are so brilliant.
I wonder what is happening in the fridge in this house right now????
LOL - such a fun article!