Grief

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"The Adultress"


"You threw me away!" I hurled in anger -
harsh words spat out to slash, maim and scar.

Trembling with fury, I sought out a lover
who eagerly transformed me into
the passionate wanton

you wouldn't tame.

You couldn't tame.

I loved you so.

I, being a virgin, eager for love -
stunned by the threat of divorce,

fled to a man so different from you -
tossed my life in his van.

We escaped to Canada.

You wanted the divorce.

Five years of hollow love -

your rejection still stabs.

I blamed you for being too babied, too weak
to fight for me - love me, just want me stay -

I wrestled with hate, rejection and fear...
"Please find me, please look" - and I would pray

Somehow you would.

But you never came.

Why did I hope?

I still loved you.

When the paperwork came, the divorce decree -
My lover and I - we married so fast

Life had restarted, you've long been forgotten -
or so I thought, but the pain hadn't passed.

It took four years to love

him who saved my sanity

and taught me to laugh

and relinquish my grief.

Tearing our hearts last month with Scripture,
my lover and I are accused as adulterers...

We've been truly one flesh , ,

for thirty four years -

Forgiven by GOD

through Jesus, GOD'S Son.

Our accuser said that didn't stop us from sinning
because we still lived together in blatant sin.

Scripture is true, but interpreters many
can ruin lives with verses taken from context...

My hubby, my life -

and I are truly in fear

of displeasing GOD,

so holy and pure.

My sweetheart and I have spent thirty-four years
clinging through hardship, passion and pain -

Told to divorce, back to you I must haste
saying just you and I were wed in GOD'S eyes.

Our marriage unconsummated,

but I thought our hearts were...

I was dead to you.

He brought me to life.



...And thirty four years are naught?

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