Humor

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Humor-by-Josprel

American-Born Hyphenated-Americanism
by
Josprel

I am American-born, but not a hyphenated-American. There are many American-born citizens who insist on qualifying their heritage by appending their ethnicity to it. For example, they refer to themselves as French-Americans, German-Americans, Spanish-Americans, Italian-Americans, Irish-Americans – you get the drift. I, on the other hand, am an absolutely un-hyphenated American who happens to be of Sicilian extraction. I have been from the day of my birth. No sir, there never was a moment in my life when I was hyphenated – just extracted.

My paternal and maternal grandparents became hyphenated-Americans. So did my father, who sailed from the “old country” at age four and hyphenated himself to America - citizenship papers and all - as soon as he could. My mother, on the other hand, was is as absolutely de-hyphenated in her Americanism as I am. She earned this distinction by being born in America.

Yes, indeed! My mother is American-born, my father came from Sicily at age four, I am not Sicilian-born, I’ve never been to Sicily nor do I have a desire to go there, I do not speak Sicilian, and, as a kid, I hated both Hitler and Mussolini during the Second World War. Had I been old enough, I gladly would have fought against Italy and, therefore, against Sicily. Moreover, I subsequently served a three-year stint in the United States Air Force. With the above credentials, how can I be a Sicilian-American, or even think of myself as one?

Kaiser Wilhelm once said to someone who referred to himself as a German-American, "There are Germans. There also are Americans, but there are no German-Americans. No such race exists." Apparently, Wilhelm did not believe in hyphenated loyalties, either.

Borrowing from his observation, I say, "There are Sicilians. There are also Americans, but there are no Sicilian-Americans. No such race exists."

And what of you? No matter where your ancestors hailed from, if you are American-born, you are an American-sans-hyphen. There is no American-born hyphenated American. No such person exists!

© Josprel (Joseph Perrello)
[email protected]

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