Children

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Chapter 1: Gerbil Idol


Out of all the pets that live in Petsville, none were as peculiar as the two gerbils, Scooter and Puffy. The two were brothers and were entirely inseparable.
This is one of their many adventures. Scooter was more hyper and prone to getting himself in trouble. Puffy was more calm and rational, and always found a way to overlook his brother’s mistakes. Perhaps their first and greatest adventure was of the time when they auditioned for television’s hit show, “American Idol”. Scooter naturally came up with the idea first and soon convinced his brother that it was a good idea. Immediately, they did their best to sign up…


Scooter’s Audition

Scooter entered the room where Simon, Randy, and Paula sat. They all stared at him.
“Who in their right mind let a gerbil in?” Simon whispered to Paula.
She shrugged.


“Let’s get this over with,” Simon mumbled.
Scooter smiled brightly and began, “Oops, I did it again. I played with your heart. Got lost in the game. O baby, baby…”
Paula and Randy were speechless. Not only was a rodent singing on their stage, but also it was managing to stay in tune! Paula clapped enthusiastically, but Simon muttered something about gerbils singing being absolutely stupid.
“This is ridiculous,” Simon muttered. “Thank you, gerbil. Please…don’t call us, we’ll call you.”


Puffy’s Audition

Puffy strode into the room. Simon shook his head and Paula attempted a smile. Confidently, Puffy started to sing.
“Treat yourself in words unspoken; live your life with arms wide open. Today is where your book begins. The rest is still unwritten,” the gerbil sang.
“This is stupid. This really is,” Simon said. “There’s another one! Who keeps letting these rats in?”
Randy tried not to laugh, and Paula hid a smirk.
“Technically, we’re gerbils,” Puffy corrected him. “If you don’t like it then, fine.”
He turned and called out the door, “Hey, Scooter! Let’s be astronauts!”
Randy scratched his head as the rodent raced off the stage and concluded the very first gerbil audition.










Chapter 2: Ron


Another one of their absurd adventures was when Puffy came home expecting that his brother had put up the decorations for the Valentines Party. What he hadn’t expected was a new brother…

Puffy opened the door and his jaw dropped. The living room was smothered in cheese! There was cheese on the rug, walls, furniture, and even the ceiling! Scooter was hanging nearby from a spider web made entirely of cheese.
“Puffy,” he gasped. “You have to try this!”
“Where did all this cheese come from,” Puffy wondered aloud.
“Well, it’s really a funny story…”Scooter said. “I sort of…adopted a baby brother…”
“You what?” Puffy cried.
“Well, I knew if I asked you first, you’d say no.”
Puffy put his paws on his hips. “I still say no,” he snapped. “Now, where is he? We have to return…”
A small white mouse jumped down and hung upside down
from the ceiling. “This is the best,” he screamed. “Hi, Puffy! I’m


your new brother, Ron!”
There was no way to deny it. That mouse was absolutely adorable. Puffy groaned. “Ok, ok! He can stay. But, what’s with this mess?”
“Ron likes cheese,” Scooter explained.
Puffy shook his head, and against his better judgment, ran head first into a great mound of cheese.





































Chapter 3: Leprechaun Gerbils

As long as I live, I will never forget the time when Scooter and Ron climbed on the roof, disguised as leprechauns…

Puffy walked in the kitchen’s back door and started putting the groceries away. It was oddly quiet; too quiet. He finished putting the celery away and was about to do the sunflower seeds when suddenly… A loud blast of Celtic music erupted through the house. Puffy tried to scream, but could not hear his own thoughts. Where was that racket coming from? It sounded as though it were


coming from outside. But then why was it shaking the house? He dashed outside and gasped. Scooter and Ron were on the roof! When they saw Puffy they turned off the music. Puffy gaped at his brothers. They were dressed in leprechaun costumes and were dancing to Celtic music.
“What is the meaning of this,” Puffy cried in exasperation.
“This a bein’ St. Patty’s Day, don’t ‘cha know,” Ron spoke.
“Aye! We bein’ a celebratin’ the Irish,” Scooter said.
“More like insulting it,” Puffy spat. “Get off the roof before you break you’re necks!”
“Puffy? Aren’t ‘cha gonna join us?” Ron asked.
Puffy stared. How on earth was he going to refuse those enormous pink eyes? He sighed, grabbed a large green top hat and climbed up next to them. Scooter turned back on the music and they all started to dance.


























Chapter 4: A Gerbil Easter

For as long as I’ve known them, the brothers have had the hardest time distinguishing one holiday from another. This was possibly best described on their first Easter with Ron…

Puffy opened the front door and called for his brothers, “I got the eggs! Who wants to help decorate them?”
Ron was hanging upside down from the ceiling fan. The blades were spinning him wildly. “Puffy,” he gasped. “You have to try this!”
Puffy screamed, dropped the shopping bag, and pulled his brother down. “Where’s Scooter,” he asked.
“In the attic,” Ron answered.
“Doing what, dare I ask? Pretending to be a bat?”
“No. He was getting the rest of the decorations,” Ron said calmly.
Puffy looked around. These weren’t the Easter decorations! These were garlands and tinsel and red and green lights!


Scooter suddenly entered the room. “I got the menorah,” he cried happily.
Puffy’s mouth dropped. “Scooter! It’s not Hanukkah! It’s Easter!”
Scooter’s grins died away. “But I already got out the menorah,” he moaned.
“Why do we even have one? We’re not Jewish,” Puffy gasped.
Scooter’s face screwed up with deep thought. He looked at Puffy with sad, sorrowful eyes. “Can we at least light the menorah,” he asked.
Puffy sighed. “Who’s got the matches?”






























Chapter 5: Mother’s Day

One of the many absurd things that the gerbils did happened to occur on Mother’s Day. Since none of the brothers had a mother, they decided to elect one…

Puffy opened the Sunday paper and put his feet up. There was nothing too interesting. He sighed. Scooter and Ron suddenly snuck up behind him and placed something on his head. It was the most hideous hat! The thing was covered in dying petunias, the cheetah print ribbon was moth-eaten, and there was a bit of nacho cheese dripping off one side. Scooter and Ron jumped out from behind the couch and started doing cartwheels and somersaults.


Puffy gaped at them. “What are you two doing,” he gasped.
They both stopped.
“Today’s Mother’s Day,” Ron said.
“And, since we don’t have a mother…” Scooter started.
“We’re nominating you to be our honorary dead mother,” Ron finished.
Puffy pulled the atrocious hat off. “It’s den mother,” he mumbled. “And this is nice and all, but there’s just one tiny problem.”
“What,” Scooter wondered.
“I’m a boy,” Puffy howled.
His brothers frowned and Puffy knew he had disappointed them. He sighed and put the hat back on. “Let’s get this over with,” he muttered.
His brothers grinned and once again began flipping around.

























Chapter 6: 00Gerbil

Being rodents, one of the gerbils’ favorite things to do was play. They had incredible imaginations and I’ll never forget their games. For example, the time they pretended to be secret agents like James Bond…

“Target sighted!”
“Excellent, Agent Ron 0!” Scooter said.
They reached down and grabbed a wedge of cheese off a plate.
“Mission complete, Agent Ron 0,” Scooter muttered.
“Agent 00Gerbil,” Ron whispered to Scooter, “it’s the evil Dr. Puffy!”
“Release the hen grenades!” Scooter commanded.
The two were hiding on top of a bookshelf and as Puffy walked by, they threw eggs at him. Puffy restrained himself from yelling as an egg cracked on his head, sending its contents down his back. He wheeled around and glared at the two.
“You do realize what this means, do you,” he asked stiffly. He reached down and picked up two eggs. “War,” he screamed.
He sent the eggs flying and they smashed against his siblings.


Scooter frowned and said “I think we’ve learned something today.”
“What’s that,” Ron wondered.
“Hen grenades are messy,” Scooter mumbled.









































Chapter 7: AstroGerbils

Another of the gerbils’ strange adventures was of the time they pretended to be astronauts…

“Meteor!” Scooter shrieked.
Puffy turned the steering wheel.
“Don’t crash into Jupiter!” Scooter squealed.
Puffy rotated them in a different direction. The steering wheel was actually an old bicycle tire and their rocket ship was actually a cardboard box, but in their imagination, they were real. Ron was nowhere to be seen.
“Hey, Scooter,” Puffy started. “Where did Ron go?”
“He said something about getting an urge to chew. Why?” Scooter said.
“Listen,” Puffy whispered.
They both fell silent and heard an odd gnawing noise.
“What do you think that is,” Puffy asked.
“I know what it is,” Scooter whispered. “Aliens!”
Puffy gasped. “Are you sure,” he asked.
“Positive,” his brother mumbled. “They’ve probably come to eat all our cheese!”
Suddenly, someone called their names, “Scooter! Puffy! You gotta try this!”
“Ron,” the two gasped.
“What are you doing,” Puffy asked.


“Chewing,” the white mouse answered.
Scooter and Puffy’s eyes widened.
“What are you chewing on,” they gasped.
“A box.”
The two groaned as their brother chewed his way through their rocket.






































Chapter 8: Coffee

If there was anytime that completely exhausted Puffy, it was when Scooter and Ron tried coffee…

“Ron? What are you doing?”
The white mouse looked up at Scooter. “I was curious what coffee tastes like,” he answered.
A jar of coffee sat in his lap. “Adults drink coffee all the time, but I can’t understand why. It stinks!”
Scooter sat down next to him. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt if you tried a bit,” he mumbled.
They both made a cup of coffee and savored the new sensation.
Puffy walked in the front door and screamed. His brothers were ricocheting off the walls. “What is the meaning of this,” he gasped.
“We just tried coffee,” Ron explained as he started to jump on the couch. “We like coffee. Coffee good!”
“Ya, ya,” Scooter agreed. “Want some coffee? We got some coffee! Scooter love coffee. Coffeeeeeee!!!”
Puffy’s jaw dropped. This was insane.
“Coffee?” Ron offered.
By now Puffy was used to their absurdity, and with a heavy sigh, he joined.


Chapter 9:Baking

Naturally, Puffy was the family chef. However, there was one day when Scooter and Ron experimented with baking…

“Ron, what are you doing,” Scooter asked.
His little brother stood at the counter mixing batter. “I’m baking bread,” he answered.
Scooter joined him and soon the smell of bread wafted through the air.
“How much yeast do you put in,” Ron asked.
Scooter shrugged. “I don’t know,” he mumbled. “Try the packet. That’s what it’s for isn’t it?”
When Puffy came home later that evening, he smelled something rather pleasant. Scooter and Ron were watching television and Puffy wondered what the scent was from. He looked around and his nose stopped in front of the oven. He sniffed and then started to open the door.
“Don’t!”
Puffy looked around at his brothers. “What’s wrong,” he wondered.
“Don’t open the oven door,” Scooter cried.
Puffy stared at him. “What’s wrong with the oven?”
“It’ll explode if you open the door,” Ron screamed.
Puffy was confused. Ovens don’t explode when you open the door.
“Guys, it’s just a door,” he said. “Watch.”
Scooter and Ron let out a loud howl as their brother opened


the oven door. BAM! Scooter and Ron’s bread exploded in Puffy’s face.
Puffy sighed. “Do me a favor,” he said. “Leave baking to me.”









































Chapter 10: A Gerbil Halloween

Out of all the gerbils’ ridiculous mishaps, I will never forget Puffy’s Halloween party. Scooter and Ron were having a difficult time deciding their costumes…


“Ta-da!” Scooter shrieked with excitement. “I’m Super Gerbil!”
Ron stepped back and studied it. “Well, you certainly look like him. But you can’t fly.”
Scooter agreed. That was definitely a letdown. He removed the cape and let it drop to the attic floor.
Ron began playing with a pair of bug-eye glasses.
Scooter wrapped himself in toilet paper and outstretched his arms. “I am King Tutank-gerbil,” he wailed.
Ron sneezed. “Nice toilet paper,” he sneered. “That costume might actually work.
The costume’s pathetic, but you certainly smell like a mummy.”
Scooter unraveled the toilet paper as Ron slid a pair of fake teeth into his mouth.
“What about Frankengerbil?” Scooter asked.
“No. He’s too brainless. Everyone will think you have mush for brains,” Ron mumbled. “I know! I got the perfect costume for you!”
He jumped up and slid something over Scooter’s head. The mouse stepped back and admired his work. “There!” he cried. “You can be a ballerina!”
Scooter glowered. “Never!” he spat, “That’s too girly! Why do we even have that?”
Ron shrugged as Scooter ripped it off and pulled another costume on.
“I’ve got it!” Scooter cried. “It’s the perfect costume!”


That night, the Halloween Party was a huge success. All their friends came. Everyone was given a chance to guess what each other’s costumes were. Scooter had gone as a lion. All his friends envied him. No one could guess Puffy’s. He was covered in red
feathers.

“I’m a bird!” he said finally.
But the most unforgettable moment was when Ron showed up in the middle of the party. He twirled towards the center, dressed in the ballerina costume! Everyone burst out laughing.





































Chapter 11: A Gerbil Thanksgiving

There were a few coincidences where Puffy and Scooter made new friends. Take, for example, Thanksgiving…

Scooter and Ron bolted through the front door carrying a large, wooden crate. “We got the turkey!” they cried happily.
Puffy strode out of the kitchen, wearing a pink floral apron. “Finally! What took you so long?” he asked.
The two set down the crate and started panting.
“We had a hard time catching it,” Ron gasped.
Puffy stared at them. What were they talking about? He sighed. “What did you do wrong this time?”
“Nothing,” Scooter replied. “We remembered to get the turkey this time!”
“Well, it’s about time! It’s Thanksgiving and the relatives


will be here in a few hours!” Puffy howled. He pointed at the crate. “What’s that?”
“It’s the turkey,” Ron answered.
Puffy stared at them. “Well, at least you remembered one this year. Go on! Open it!”
His brothers lifted off the top and out flew…a live turkey! It gobbled and squawked and flew in every direction. As the turkey shattered a lamp, Puffy turned to glare at Scooter.
Scooter’s mind finally comprehended. “Oh! You wanted a turkey we could cook!” His face screwed up as he thought. “Well… we could still invite it to dinner. You know…to be polite.”
Ron put on his most adorable begging face. Puffy rolled his eyes. “Alright,
alright,” he groaned. “He can come to dinner. Just don’t tell him he was supposed to be dinner.

























Chapter 12: A Gerbil Christmas

I’ll never forget the gerbils’ first Christmas with Ron…

On Christmas Eve, Puffy stepped in the kitchen door and


shivered. “It’s freezing!” he spat through gritted teeth.
“Come sit by the fire,” Scooter called.
Puffy strode into the living room and smiled. “You two decorated the tree!” he gasped.
Ron smiled and handed him a cup of hot chocolate. Puffy sat between them on the
couch and sipped merrily. His mouth fell open as he realized what his brothers had messed up this time. The star! The star that sat atop the Christmas tree…was gone!
“Where’s the star?” he gasped pointing to the bald tree.
Ron and Scooter looked at where he was pointing.
“It’s funny really,” Scooter started, “It’s sort of…lost. So we decided we’d find something else to replace it.”
“And did you?” Puffy wondered.
Ron nodded and grinned. “We sure did,” he said.
“Good.” Puffy yawned and set down his glass. “I’m going to bed. Good night.”


Puffy woke on Christmas morning and leapt for joy. “It’s Christmas! It’s Christmas!” he shouted.
The church bells rang through the air as Puffy joined Scooter in the living room. They were about to open presents when Puffy realized they were missing something. He turned to Scooter. “Where’s Ron?” he asked.
Scooter scrambled over to the nearest plug and turned on the tree’s lights. He pointed to the top and Puffy’s mouth fell open. Sitting at the top, revolving on the star’s stand was none other than Ron! Scooter started to laugh as Ron began singing “Away in a Manger”.
Scooter turned to Puffy. “Told you we’d find something to replace the star,” he smirked.



Chapter 13: Groundhog’s Day

Perhaps one of the strangest things the gerbils did was try to celebrate Ground Hogs’ Day…

Puffy opened the door to the back porch and stepped out. It was a beautiful day. Rather chilly, but still not too bad. He sighed, contentedly and strode out across the yard. He stopped when he saw his brothers.
“What are you two doing?” he asked.
Scooter and Ron looked around at him. Ron was buried in the ground, only his head was peeking out.
“We’re celebrating Ground Hog’s Day,” Scooter replied proudly.
“By burying each other?” Puffy asked.
Ron said “We’re trying to trick the sun and make it believe we’re groundhogs. Then, we can check if we’ll get six more weeks of winter or not.”
“That’s absolutely ridiculous!” Puffy cried. “You can’t trick the sun. It’s not alive!”
Scooter hushed him. “You’ll hurt its feelings!” he said.
Puffy frowned. “Scooter!” he snapped. “The sun had no feelings!”


Both Scooter and Ron gasped. Ron’s lip trembled as though he were about to cry.
Puffy sighed. He didn’t want to make Ron cry. “Would it make you feel better if I joined?” he asked.
Ron nodded enthusiastically.
“Well,” Puffy wondered, “what do I have to do?”
His brothers grinned.
“Scooter’s disco dancing while I pretend to be the groundhog,” Ron explained. “You can disco, too!”
Scooter turned on some music and the dance began.



























Chapter 14: Amusement Park

And, who could forget the incident at the Amusement Park…

“Hey, Puffy,” Ron asked, “can we go on the Merry-Go-Round?”
Puffy frowned. “I’m not sure. What if you get sat on?”
“Oh, come on, Puffy!” Scooter wailed. “We’re at Six Flags! Who would sit on another guest?”


“Well we are sort of small,” Puffy said.
Scooter and Ron’s mouths fell open.
“We are not small!” Scooter roared. “It’s those humans. They’re gigantic! Monstrous even! I mean look at them!”
“Scooter!” Puffy snapped. “Keep your voice down! They’re not very intelligent creatures. You shouldn’t upset them. They’ll take offenses personally!”
Scooter crossed his arms. “Well, can we go on the Merry-Go-Round?” he wondered.
Puffy sighed. “I suppose. Just don’t get squished.”
“Nobody’s going to sit on us,” Scooter said, impatiently.
He and Ron scrambled over to the ride. The gerbils held up their tickets. The man running the machine didn’t notice them.
“Maybe it’s ‘Free for Rodents Day’,” Ron suggested.
“That must be it!” Scooter concluded.
They climbed onto the platform. Ron and Scooter each climbed up a pole and seated themselves on horses.
Scooter sighed contentedly. “There’s nothing like going to Six Flags.”
Ron agreed.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, two humans strode over.
“Mommy,” one said. “I want that pony!”
Scooter and Ron glanced at each other right before…splat!

Puffy waited patiently for his brothers. His eyes widened as they trudged over to him.
“What happened?” Puffy gasped.
His brothers had a ruffled and flattened look to them.
“Next time,” Scooter said, “we’re going to the mall.”

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