Devotionals

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“For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just, so that the LORD will bring about for Abra-ham what he has promised him" (Genesis 18:19). And so, in a typically scriptural nutshell, is God’s prescription for a happy family.
“You can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family.” There is a broad truth contained in that nugget, but the full picture contains sharper details. You CAN (sort of) pick your family when you choose your life’s partner. And, even more importantly, you can influence your family. God gives parents the responsibility to mold their children and guide their steps. All societal spheres of life are directly influenced by the training that children receive throughout their lives. Notice God’s rationale for parenthood: “Because he was seeking godly offspring” (Malachi 2:15). Parents are to train their children to be God-fearing and holy.
All desirable virtues, e.g., good citizenship, sportsmanship, family values, integrity, character, and whatever else contributes to the good of society, stem from godliness. Yet these character traits don’t come naturally—they must be taught by example and discipline. I can hear it now: “I would NEVER discipline my child! I wouldn’t want to hurt his little psyche!” God knows better: “The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother” (Proverbs 29:15). “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die” (Proverbs 23:23). Of course, no one is sanctioning child abuse. But discipline is only effective when its consequence is felt in a way the child understands. Granted, it’s hard work, and it goes against the grain of our nature and our society, but the reward of this promise is worth it: “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it” (Proverbs 22:6).
Many parents shy away from the work of raising children properly due to fear of rejection, reprisal or regret. This leads to the defeatist attitude of “They’re going to do it anyway, so supply them with (money, clean needles, birth control) and hope for the best.” One of the saddest clichés I hear is, “Too bad (children, spouses) don’t come with an instruction manual.” Ah, but they do! It’s called the Bible: “These are the commands, decrees and laws the LORD your God directed me to teach you to observe . . . so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and com-mands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life” (Deuteronomy 6:1, 2).
What of spouses? This is the primary relationship in a family, not the children. What can wives expect from their husbands? “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her . . . by the word” (Ephesians 5:25, 26). In other words, in a Biblical nutshell, husbands should be ready to sacrifice everything, includ-ing their life, for their spouses if necessary, in order to make her happy AND holy! One result of neglecting that command is hindered prayer, an awful price to pay (1 Peter 3:7). God commanded Israelite men who were newly wed to stay home for a year to “bring happiness to the wife he has married” (Deuteronomy 24:5). Before taking that job or ministry or other responsibility that demands time away from home, the husband needs to calculate the risk to his family. “Providing for the family” entails more than bringing home the bacon; it means being home.
Wives have a responsibility as well, and it sounds more scary than the husband’s! She is called to respect and submit to him in all things (Ephesians 5:22, 33). This is not a “boss-flunky” relationship, but respect for the husband’s leadership role.
And what of children? Do they sail through life in a silver spoon? They, too, have a promise from the Lord: “"Honor your fa-ther and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you” (Deuteronomy 20:12). “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (Ephesians 6:1). There is no time limit on these commands! As long as the child is in the parents’ care, he is to obey, unless asked to do something that is sinful. However, the command to honor parents extends to the life of the parent(s). How pitiful is the cry of the parent who bemoans the fact that grown children don’t ask for advice or aren’t as supportive as they should be.
Mere happiness is not the goal of family life—holiness is! And with holiness comes joy!

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