Poetry

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This November Child

Where has the time gone
Have I woke up somehow in the
wrong life
My Heart is all filled
with worry and strife
My mind is unraveled
What road have I traveled
I long to be held
and hear a comforting
song
Waiting and watching I can't
remember the last time
I felt warm. Cold to the very
core.
Damaged memories float around
like birds with broken wings
I try to grasp for the Word
that can make everything new
again.
Here I am at my end whilst thou
not hold my hand.
I can't go any further and then
like a leaf blowing on the wind
I am tossed fallen broken to the
ground
This November child needs to be found
I am paralyzed by all the sound
I breath in only to drown
Upon my head is a broken crown
once a princess now a bag lady
my soul cries out
Burdens untold shatter my hope
all the doubts where can I go?
I try to understand but this vessel
is broken where is the Potter to form
this clay into something that can be
used today. . .
I have no one to blame for it is I
who must be named I fell into a fantasy
and now I hold in my hand a dying rose
with thorns of pain
This November child needs to be found
Lost and tired broken upon the ground
and all the kings of this land couldn't put me
back together again. . .Perhaps you may
take my hand. ..
Tell me again the lullaby should never
end let me sleep my friend I am weak from
all this running
Here I am starring at tomorrow Here I am
wondering if I could borrow some forgiveness
cause I am so trapped in this sin. . .
Looking in the mirror of men I see only me
and the past of misery
shadows fall long and dark around me
Though I know before me is the LIGHT but it
is I who has to stand and fight and again I
fall down as the waves of yesterday sweep across
my face I have fallen in disgrace
This November child needs to be found
I cry out with no sound
Tears splatter upon the driest ground
Chasing mirages in the desert now
Seasons past and here I am in the winter
at last the birth of a new day cast long
frowns upon the sand
time for me to move on
then again I look to the sky and wonder why
My thoughts are caught in a snare as I scream
Life isn't fair where does this end
I walk in a thirsty land only to watch the
depraived man. . .broken bones and shattered
hearts there is no one left at home
No one to blame
only the rain splatters
over the shame
no one left
Can I walk Can I run Can I talk Can I see
I just want to be free I just want to know
thee
I search this world over for a Savior
There HE is upon the cross and here I am at
a lost . . .His eyes look into mine there
He finds this November child
Though I see His agony and know it is all for
me I am bound I can't reach out. . .instead
I look away and try to block it all out
I hear Him whisper across the breeze I want to
fall upon my knees but instead I try to march on
carrying this sad song I don't know why but I hear
the people cry. ..
Then I arrive to the edge of the end
This November child doesn't know how
I would fall down to bow
should I stay I would only hurt you this
way
Oh there are no shadows of gray
and if I sit here upon this fence should
an arrow strike me without any defense
This November Child runs wild it is time
for me to admit my crime I have nailed
love to the tree for HE has become the curse
that by the law cast upon me
My broken heart hurts much worse to know that
the blood that soaks the ground is the blood
that can take this soul and make it whole
Yet fear keeps me here trapped in the snow
frozen years a child torn a life ragged and
worn death blows upon the wind I know that if
I don't go then this shall be the end
This november child stands in the midst
of a war should I become a casualty
Once more I stand I run and I struggle
I see HIS eyes looking upon me in His hands
are the nails
HE took the pain that belong to me
and on His head is my broken crown of thorns
but in HIS eyes is love that I can't understand
The choice is mine should i live should i die
should i give should i try
there is no if only's there is no what if's
it is either or neither more
Broken should I cry tormented I try
Darkness surrounds the land yet in my hand
the hammer weighs heavy
on my skin is the stains of His pain
there is nothing more for me to gain for I sought
revenge invain. . .
Perched upon a tree sits a dove looking down
at me I am guilty is my only plea I realize
it was for me that HE died it was because of me
that HE died
In the midst I hear my voice as I cried
crucify HIM I want to die. . .though my past
robbed me so and the pain swept in the snow
He took upon HIM the beatens just to let me know
that all the rejection denial and misdirections
in my life had a way there is a truth and all HE
ever wanted to do was give me life. . .
This november child falls down upon the blood
soaked ground
this november child tries to understand why
this november child looks around to see if there
is anything left to be found
Though I watch HIM die though I see HIS eyes
looking into mine though I know HE is all that
I will ever need though I try to believe
whispers in the moor in the darkness come upon
my ears whisper of fears and of doubts steal
my thoughts away. . .
If I left HIM this way if I go my own way
then forever is were I will spend my time
in the pit of my tormented mind.
It is all in a choice it is all in my voice
it is all in the noise of the day
This november child becomes silent and I listen
I hear HIS voice as though it rolls upon a cloud
genlty surrounding me. . .though my heart condemns
me HE quietly tells me with love I do not condemn
thee. . .
Though I watch them wrap HIM for HIS burial and lay
HIM in a tomb a tomb which I know all to well.
Though they roll the stone in front of the dungeon's
door to forever seal HIM in darkness the place I knew
so well. Though it seems as hell has opened its
mouth to consume though night falls and a day calls
though hours pass and seconds last. . .the morning
comes the sun arises in the eastern sky I open my
eyes only to see the prison door has been opened the
stone has rolled away. There inside of that cage
lays no one not a body to be found.
Instead as I kneel down trying to understand
He was truly a man in flesh but yet much more HE was
and is the best that LOVE has ever offered for a
sacrifice. All this for my dust filled life.
My November child whom are you looking for I hear the
whisper on the wind beckoning me from somewhere
within. Lift thou eyes my November child for you
shall arise. . .those dry bones will not hold you any
longer for I have come to set you free. . .come be
with me
This november child stands broken in the Potter's
hand.
Though the darkness once surrounded me the LIGHT
breaks through Though time unkindly marched against
me it now stands still for I sit in the Hands of the
Ancient of Days.
Wounded bird was I
caught in a snare a trap
that should have led me to my death.
I look over my life no more longing
for the things I can not bring together
for I do not hold the days nor the morrows
Though my sorrows are plenty
HE lifts me up and hands me HIS cup
With HIS gentleness HE cleanses me from
within
from the ashes wince I came from
HE directs the rays of LIGHT upon
these tears and cast a rainbow that
travels throughout eternity I become
His Beauty
Learning to walk free learning to see
I stand upon this dry land not thirsty
instead I look around at the depraived
friend and offer my hand. . .
This November Child was lost in the
rush of lust
THis November child was crushed beneath
the rubble of pride
This November Child does not have to hide
any more
The November child dies and a new life begins
I become the child of the Day Spring
the Morning Star. . .
I am alive my past can not trodden me
it no longers has the power to bound me.
In my hand is a sword of Truth, in my heart
is a seal of proof, in my mind there is salvation.
Faithfully HE guides me on the way though
the path may be hard to journey I am to go
and walk it but yet not alone.
Not alone Not alone I am forever home in HIM
for HIS kingdom is within me. I am FREE at last!

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