Women

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What Was Lindsay Lohan Thinking?
By Dan Blankenship
© 2007 Dan Blankenship





First of all, I have a confession to make. I am a huge Lindsay Lohan fan. There, I said it. I thought she did a fantastic job playing both young twins (Hallie and Annie) in the movie “The Parent Trap” (1998). I considered her work in “Mean Girls” (2004) to be one of the best comedic performances I have ever seen. I also liked her work in “Freaky Friday” (2003), “Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen” (2004), and “Just My Luck” (2006). Lohan is a hugely successful actress with a long list of appearances and successes in her resume.

Okay, I believe I’ve made it quite clear. I think the world of this young woman’s talents and achievements. But lately, the news about Lindsay Lohan has not been so positive. She recently checked herself out of a drug and alcohol center. Shortly after that she was involved in a car accident where she was believed to have been intoxicated. News reports are also claiming cocaine was found inside her vehicle, though officers will not say where in the car it was found. Two other individuals were in the car when it crashed into a curb.

While I have seen quite a few Lindsay Lohan movies, I have not delved into her off screen life. This column will not be an attempt at explaining the reasons child stars run into trouble as they find themselves celebrating more birthdays. This column is an attempt at explaining what Lohan “may” have been thinking on the night she decided to drive drunk and have illegal contraband along for the ride.

So, here is what I believe was running through her head on that special DUI evening. Keep in mind, this is just my opinion and in no way reflects reality, since I don’t have a clue what Lohan was actually thinking on the night in discussion:

Two hours before the crash: “Wow, it’s only 3:30 in the morning. I have another good hour of drinking to do. I better get busy. Can’t have people thinking I’m a lightweight!”

One hour before the crash: “Hey, isn’t that guy over there in my Alcoholics Anonymous class?”

Forty-five minutes before the crash: “I wonder if there’s more to life than this constant struggle to chemically induce myself into happiness. Is this my future, night after night staying out till 5 A.M. looking for the perfect numbness?”

Thirty minutes before the crash: “Where has my innocence gone? When did I stop caring about what others think about me and my behavior? Oh, who cares, someone mix me another drink. I want to be as far away from that sweet little Hallie or Annie as I can be. Parent Trap was such a cheesy film. I’ll be making the good films from now on! I’ll be the leading lady…minus the ‘lady’ part.”

Fifteen minutes before the crash: “I need my beauty rest, and besides, my glass is empty. C’mon people, my Mercedes awaits. Ouch! Who put that couch there?”

Three minutes before the crash: “Driving intoxicated is no big deal. I’m doing fine. Those people at the Alcoholic Anonymous classes are exaggerating the dangers of drinking. I’m young and I deserve to enjoy my success. If I want to drive a little tipsy, it’s my prerogative! Isn’t that a song?”

Ten seconds after the accident: “God, why are you letting this happen to me? What did I do to deserve this? Why are you always letting all of this bad stuff happen to me? Now everyone is going to think I’m a drunk and a bad person. Oh my gosh, look at my car. I promise God, if you let me get out of this one, I’ll never drink again until I am over 21. Oh, wait a minute, Steve’s party is next week. Okay, scratch that, God. New deal; if you make this all go away, I promise I’ll stop drinking after Steve’s party next week…and then I won’t drink and drive until I’m…I mean I won’t drink…I know I shouldn’t drive after I drink…until after I’m 21…Ohhh…officer, I think I need to throw up.”

And there you have my opinion of what one of my favorite actresses was thinking before and after her current run in with the law and a curb.

My advice to Lindsay Lohan is to stop running toward a world full of intoxicating confusion and try getting back to little things in life that make us who we are. Hallie and Annie had more direction, integrity, and strength than the current “grown up” Lindsay. Sometimes we have to go back to where we started in order to truly see the monster we’ve become.

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