Christian Living

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Larry Lilly's Letter Monday June 18, 2007

Father's Day 2007 is now past and for the first time I wished my son, "Happy Father's Day." It stunned him as really hadn't anticipated my wish for him. Being a father is more than just having a child and he knows this to be true in his well informed noggin. Now he will know it experientially. A horse of a different color for sure.

I told the gathered saints at the church I pastor who were awaiting my words of wisdom on the subject of Fathers with thirsty ear that I have always felt at a loss when preaching on the subject, even though I know how to pronounce "father" in Hebrew, Greek and even Spanish. My mother and father were separated on the path to divorce when I was born. My mother married a man who gave his name to me and I have been known by this name ever since. This dear man died when I was six and then, well that's another story that doesn't need to be told in the confines of the letter.

When I was saved at age 20 I began to pray and ask the Lord to show me how to be a godly father. Over the years He has done so, and now that the children are grown I am a much better father than when they were growing up. I would like to roll back the clock and have the knowledge I now posses on the subject.

So it is with trepidation that I broach the subject today, the subject of "Fathering."

The Bible program I use the most states that the word "father" is used in the Bible 977 times. The title, "Jesus" is used 943 times. From the count you get the idea that God puts a high priority on being a father. And so should we.

Albert Barns in his commentary states that several attributes rightfully belong to the man who carries the title, "father." Among them are, authority, eminence, superiority, the right to command, the right to claim respect.

Our generation has witnessed the wholesale abandonment of these trappings of fatherhood. Dr. John Thompson a friend of mine who works extensively with incarcerated juveniles says the most important lack in between 80 and 95 percent of these children is absentee fathers, including fathers who are physically present but spiritually and emotionally absent. The term, Abba, is used in Romans to convey the truth that while a father has God given authority, eminence etc, he is also to CARE, a tenderness that is often overlooked in the concept of fathering. I know this truth was seldom if ever expounded upon in my early days. But to be an uncaring father is to depart from the example of the Lord.

As I looked upon the attributes given to fathers and enunciated by Mr. Barns, it dawned on me that in order for any of them to really work in child's life, whether the child be of tender years, or shaving, one word must be present in the relationship.

The word is TRUST. That's one reason why so many tyrannical fathers fail. Without trust the command to highly esteem, to respect or to obey fall on a heart with deaf ears.

Larry Lilly Copyright © 2007 Use with credit.

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