Christian Living

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The Learner (or Driving Me Around the Bend)

I have a friend who needed driving lessons, and a vehicle to practise in. I agreed when she asked if I’d help - although I wondered if I had much information to impart; if I could remember all the relevant rules for driving.

I arrived at Tamara’s place and exchanged my control position for the passenger’s seat. We sat in the car and I went over the basics - how the gears worked, using the mirrors, wearing a seat belt and so on. When I had run out of useful tips I knew we could not put it off any longer. I urged Tamara to turn the key while keeping her foot on the clutch.

“Like this?” she asked, as the engine started.

I nodded in approval and so we lurched up the road.

We managed to travel a reasonable distance before we came to a bend. I instructed Tamara with plenty of forewarning on how to turn. I worried; I fretted; I imagined the worst. As Tamara made the turn I was relieved. It went well - there were no accidents! (We were only doing 40km/hour.)

We practised changing up through the gears and changing down. We practised braking slowly on a dirt road. We practised indicating and turning, looking in the mirrors and watching for traffic. So many things to remember! After my stomach had churned for almost an hour I thought we should call it quits for our first lesson.

We returned and parked out in the street as Tamara didn’t want to try pulling into the driveway. I didn’t want her to risk smashing up my car. It was a win-win situation.

“So, how do you think you went?” I asked Tamara.

“I’m pretty nervous with the gears; it’s hard to remember what to do. I like the driving bit though.”

“You’ll get used to it. You just need practice,” I reassured her.

She smiled at me. “So - when can we do this again?”

My mind whirled. I still had to recover from this lesson to contemplate doing it all again. “Ahhh…. Errr….”

“Would next week be fine?” Tamara had a glint in her eye, already thinking of getting behind the wheel again.

I couldn’t find any excuses so I committed myself to another driving lesson.

The next week came around far too quickly.

I went through the same routine of vacating the driver’s position and reminding Tamara of all the things to check before setting off. We tried driving on the same deserted roads and this time going a bit faster. I thanked God for quiet country roads and amused farmers. All too soon, the hour was over and Tamara was pressuring me for another lesson. My blood pressure hadn’t risen as high as I thought it would… I gave in and made a date to come back the following week.

Next time we grew bold and drove into the town area. We kept to the left of the street and watched for traffic, small children and wandering dogs. We tried a hill start. We – Tamara – stalled. Some youths walking along the footpath laughed. One mimed with his hands the way to ease off on the clutch while pressing down on the accelerator. Tamara tried, and stalled again. Third time lucky, and off we hopped up the street, laughing along with the onlookers. I thanked God for tolerance and understanding.

The next lesson I focussed on Tamara’s weak spot – turning. Slowing down while steering and selecting the right gear was all a bit complicated for Tamara but we had to give it a shot. I gave instructions; I tried not to nag. I gently reminded and reassured and affirmed. It was going okay; I had no grand illusions of perfection. Then we came to the roundabout. For our (my?) peace of mind, I asked Tamara to stop completely. We watched as a car entered, circled and left the roundabout. I explained where to turn, what gear to use, and when to indicate. Tamara nodded, and we started the approach.

She pulled the steering wheel, and the car turned to follow the curve of the roundabout. We drove to the right.

“Straighten the wheel,” I asked Tamara. “You’ll need to indicate left and go down that street.”

“Where?” she asked.

“Here,” I said, with a touch of urgency. It was only a small roundabout, and the exit was coming up fast!

“Oh!” was Tamara’s reply. She tried to turn but it was too late.

“Stop!” I yelled, as calm and encouraging as I could. I leaned across and yanked the steering wheel to ensure we didn’t crash completely.

Tamara understood my command and braked. Unfortunately, she forgot to put the clutch in. We stalled, with the front of the car neatly mounted on a traffic island in the middle of the side street.

“It’s okay,” I reassured her. “No harm done.”

I was aware of a car coming up behind us. Our position blocked traffic from going down the street. The car driver quickly assessed the situation. The car reversed, then continued around the roundabout, taking another turn.

“See, it’s all right; it’s a country town. Nobody’s getting cranky.”

I smiled at Tamara and tried to calm her down. We swapped seats and I got us out of our strange parking spot. We drove off to another quiet area to try again. And again.

I’d like to say that I had great success with teaching Tamara how to drive, and she quickly got her licence with poise and confidence. Unfortunately she moved away and ended up taking lessons from a professional instructor. She finally passed and joined the ranks of confident drivers - without my help.

Tamara may not have learned much from me, but I learned a lot from her. I learned optimism. I learned how to overcome my inner fears to be encouraging and thoughtful.

I also learned to be patient, for all of us are learning in some way or another.

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“Gently encourage the stragglers, and reach out for the exhausted, pulling them to their feet. Be patient with each person, attentive to individual needs. And be careful that when you get on each other’s nerves you don’t snap at each other. Look for the best in each other, and always do your best to bring it out.” 1 Thessalonians 5:14,15 The Message

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