Christian Living

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Larry Lilly's Journal sermon June 07

Bitter Husbands Bitter Harvest
Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. Colossians 3:19

The above verse gives us a clue to the most damaging trend to the family and this trend cannot be laid at the feet of Hollywood, the “Gay” movement or even to the devil ala Flip Wilson. This devastating malady comes from deep within the heart of a husband/father. When a correct diagnosis is made and this terrible malady is present it shows the victim by choice, while full of bitterness, is always lacking in the antidote for bitterness.

The word “bitter” is used 48 times in the Bible and “bitterness” is used 24 times, always in the negative sense. In plain words this means bitterness will never do you any good in the long run.

Bitterness is an all consuming disease destroying everything in its path including the carrier. Peter told Simon the Sorcerer in Acts 8:23 “For I perceive that thou art in the gall of bitterness, and in the bond of iniquity.” Simon supposed he could buy happiness and power with money. How often is money, the lack of money or the woefully mistaken idea of what money can buy the source of bitterness. As a pastor how could I count the men and women who have explained that the other “will make me happy?” If you sincerely believe this to be true, I assure you that a village is looking for you to serve as its jester/representative. I know a deacon who serves in the highest capacity for so called laymen and he is consumed with bitterness because his wife is so high maintenance. What is new about a high maintenance girl? Only eternity will tell the toll this mans negative and bitter attitude has cost the church where he serves; Christ?

Dr. Gene Riker, a long time pastor friend shared an insight into the terrible fall of David with Bathsheba and I think his opine has some merit. David is first seen as the innocent young shepherd boy who slays the giant Goliath. Other heroic deeds are attributed to this pure child of Jesse. Yet while ruling supreme, down he comes, entangled in the tresses of the apparently gorgeous wife of Uriah, a soldier in David’s army. The story has all the ingredients of a soap opera, of desperate housewives and of betrayal of all that is good. Gene opined that David picked up a very bad soul virus when he was living in and operating out of the cave of Adullam. 1Samuel 22:2 states: “And every one that was in distress, and every one that was in debt, and every one that was discontented, gathered themselves unto him; and he became a captain over them: and there were with him about four hundred men.”

Over a span of 45 years I have preached on the way God used outcasts to preserve His chosen vessel, David. No doubt about this and I have used and use this as an example of giving a helping hand to those who are outcast. Yet when you look at the context and read a few chapters you find that these men were not men of character, they were at best mercenaries, engaging in whatever they happened to be in for gain. The key word in the above verse for our purpose is “discontented” meaning “bitter of soul.” David may have “bonded” too closely with these men to his own loss.

Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 15:33 “Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.” The meaning of this verse is well known as it means close friends communicate what they are to your soul, communication of inner qualities, thus “bonding” with unsavory folks can and usually does have a negative effect on you. Camaraderie is a wonderful word, but never under estimate the dangers in the experience. That there is a change in David from the time of camaraderie with the “bitter of soul” men at Adullam until the rooftop of Bathsheba is plain for all to see.

Hebrews 12:15-7 gives more insight to the devastating effect of bitterness on the soul and the consequences thereof. Notice: “Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; 16 Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright.17 For ye know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected: for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears.”

The root of bitterness is stated as the driving force in Esau’s life and many were defiled. Esau’s gut driven nature was exploited by Jacob and Esau too late understood what he in his natural weakness had exchanged for a mess of pottage. How true in so many lives today. The male population is being eaten alive with a bitterness that is raging just under the skin and consuming the true qualities of manhood as in the story of Esau.

So, what is the point and how does this truth apply to Father’s Day 2007?

As with most negative things in life, this malady of bitterness must be overcome with a powerful positive. Husbands must follow the Bible if there is any hope of deliverance. The first part of the text gives clear instruction for the protection against bitterness and the antidote for rescue from this enslaving monster. Notice the cure, “Husbands, love your wives,..” This love is the same as is mentioned in Ephesians 5:25 and is the kind of love Christ has for the church and gave and is giving Himself in intercession for it. It is impossible to love a person and to be bitter toward them at the same time. One cancels the other.

Paul instructs believers to “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:” Ephesians 4:31.

There is no point in blaming the devil, your mother in law or your wife for your inner state. What you are on the inside is a result of your choices about events in your life. Of course you are often handed the “short end” as was Esau, but life goes on and the healthiest and happiest people are the ones who accept “short ends” as God’s lessons which we will understand in time or eternity, learn the lessons and move on with Christ and a song in our heart. Take note, the healing thought in Ephesians 4:31, Let “ALL” bitterness be put away. Too often we cling to the act and use it for a half baked excuse for our misery. Let it go. And as the great modern apostle of healing of the bitterness of soul Randy Travis sings, quit digging up bones.

A while ago I attended a fellowship meeting and heard a Southern preacher, Rufus Edmonson say that one day while working in his shed he poured some gasoline into a Styrofoam cup. To his surprise the cup melted and the gas ran all over the place, making a real mess. Brother Edmonson said, “Styrofoam is not made to hold gasoline, and you are not made to hold bitterness! Give it up!!

I certainly amen the illustration and sermon of Pastor Edmonson and wish more pastor’s would preach on the things that are killing fathers.

True love is a gift from God in Christ and when we come to the place that we decide to love rather than hate, to be thankful for our mate, our children or as the Bible says, to give thanks in all things, we are on the way to eliminating the scourge of bitterness that is running rampant in our hearts and lives.
The need for men, for fathers to get right with God in mind and heart is the not crying, but screaming need of our day.

Jesus said in Mark 7:21 “For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders,”

Most murderers are such due to being consumed with bitterness. A good front, a creating of being some sort of victim are often a prelude to murder of wife, children or a rage/bitterness induced string of murders.

In counseling 3,000 Christian workers who had fallen or leaped into adultery, not one was free of bitterness toward their mate.
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Harboring resentment and bitterness is like drinking poison and hoping it makes another person sick. DMB

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