Kids & Parenting

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We're not quite sure how her name came to us, but when it did, we somehow knew it would fit. Two weeks before her birth, my youngest daughter was going to be either Danielle or Emma, depending on which of her parents had a stronger will. We had made a list, and by list, I mean a LIST of possible names for her. At its peak it held nearly sixty possible contenders. Through a battery of tests and scrutinous evaluations, the list was reduced to these final two names, but then something happened. All I remember is that on a rather uneventful, unextraordinary day, almost simultaneously, my wife and I decided to name her Olivia.

Amazingly, it was a very simple decision, though looking back it seemed outrageous. After all of the work we had done, we just pick a name out of the air? What about the tests? What about the scrutinous evaluations? It wasn't even on "The List", it was crazy. We knew nothing about the name, and quite frankly, it wasn't even our favorite. It's as if we had no choice in the matter. Around that same time, a few other strange happenings occurred also. One, for instance, was the couple of mourning doves that began roosting on our roof. They were there everyday consistently for the last month before her birth and a week after, then they were gone. This meant nothing at the time, but it has special meaning now.

Two years before her birth, my wife and I suffered an excruciating miscarriage that nearly destroyed us. In the aftermath of the loss, as our marriage struggled and failed, I became furious with God. Many times I stood outside our trailer at night and screamed at Him, cursing Him and declaring my hatred for Him at the top of my lungs. In the months that followed, my life continued to unravel and I found myself increasingly depressed and hopeless. One day I learned of the death of a co-workers young daughter. Again, I was furious with God, but this time something was different. Though angry, I was able to begin asking difficult questions of God, ancient and unanswerable questions like, "Why?" Strangely, it was those questions that led to an open dialogue which in turn led me to the floor of my living room. There on the floor, early one morning I could fight no longer, I was done. I wept and mourned the loss of my child and begged for forgiveness. I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ and began the long journey of healing and growth that continues today. My wife and I reconciled and we began attending a local church. Not long after that she found out she was pregnant again.

She came out fighting. Screaming and kicking and thrashing around. I watched in anguish as they checked her vitals and looked for signs that she had inhaled the meconium that had infected the amniotic fluid surrounding her. Against all odds, none had entered her lungs. She was healthy and full of life. As they handed her to me I stared into her eyes and she stopped screaming, looking right back at me. Our tear filled eyes met and our souls connected. In that moment, within the middle the chaos of the delivery room, surrounded by the stress of that day, time stopped. There was no yesterday, no tomorrow, no fear or stress, only the sound of two heartbeats joined together in a timeless and sacred rhythm, that of the hearts of a fathers and child. It was in that moment that I realized why her name was, and always had been Olivia. It was because of what she represented. Olivia is a derivative of an ancient word describing a species of tree. It was a branch from this tree that the dove brought to Noah symbolizing the end of the turmoil of the flood and proof of God's provision. It was a symbol of peace from God, as is my Olivia.

As she grows, she is a living, breathing, monument of God's Holy Provision and a symbol of peace to those around her. She possesses a fragile beauty and a ferocious heart. Though she becomes frightened, no fear has yet to paralyze her. She is a challenge and a treasure and a brilliant light wherever she goes. My prayer for her, though frightening for me to ask, is that God will use her to be a bringer of His peace to a lost and hurting world. To go where others are afraid to tread, because she knows the power of the God she serves. I pray that she never questions the Love of God and never backs down from the evil that oppresses the innocent. May she fight the good fight of faith and battle like a warrior princess of the King above all Kings. Amen.

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