Humor

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Is it just me or is our highway a minefield of possum smoothies, turtle pulp, and armadillo stiffs these days. More than ever, one can not drive across town without dodging house pets or screeching to a halt to prevent another road kill. It is just another part of life for us, but not so for the little critter victims. Upon further review, I decided that we are more similar to these road pies than we want to admit.
Think of our lives as an animal next to a busy highway. Visualize yourself as a little possum, a lethargic turtle, and a lumpy armadillo respectively. (Work with me, I am an unpaid writer here.) I believe these three are the animal equivalent to us as we cross the highway of life.
The first thing to understand here is the nature of the problem in front of us. This journey across the highway of life has a primary predator referred to as the devil. He is as real as a Hummer and infinitely more dangerous. Sometimes I see Satan as a buzzard circling the road. We mess up and fail crossing the road enough without his prompting. Other times I see him as a shiny SUV actively seeking to pancake a new carcass out of some defenseless beast. (See 1 Peter 5:8 NIV for the biblical equivalent). Regardless of the form of the devil, he is never at a loss for victims. Our responses to difficulties in life remind me of these three animals most often seen on the road.
Some of us are possums. When tough times come we fall down and play dead. We hope the “enemy” heading right for us will feel bad and stop if we fall over and stick out our tongue in a catatonic fit resembling death. “Woe is me” is the mating call of this mashed-up marsupial. We spend our whole lives living from one paycheck to the next; living for the day we get our “big break” in the lottery or in the job market. Tough times come and we play on the enemy’s sense of fairness as no one would kick us while we are down. They just lay there and whine. They later find out the bad news… they end up possum smoothies.
Yet others of us are turtles. A turtle will just walk slowly across the road and expect the enemy to swerve around him. He relies boastfully on his earthly protection… his shell. He may not be fast, but “slow and steady wins the race” is his life verse. We call our human “shells” our nest egg, our health, and our “spirituality”. They proudly work 90 hours a week to earn enough money, run 20 miles a week to earn enough health, and hit church on Christmas and Easter to earn favor with God. Turtles are truly self-sufficient! They later find out the bad news as well…they end up turtle pulp.
Yet others of us are armadillos. These cool critters seem to me to be a fairly new Ozarks visitor as I don’t have many cool armadillo stories from my youth. They can be characterized by a menacing outer armor. They are faster than a turtle yet well protected and brave. The human equivalent to an armadillo is a self- righteous churchgoer. This person is one who will proudly show others how his hard work in the name of God makes him closer to God than you and in turn better than you. God MUST let him enter his Kingdom as, if he doesn’t enter, who will get anything done up there?! He works hard to gain the approval of men, ignoring the fact that the God he “serves” doesn’t know him. (Matthew 7:23 (NIV) says the resulting phrase no one wants to hear from Jesus…”Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'”) Funny thing about armadillos… when the car is heading for them, they stand there proudly so others may see their bravery, then when the car is over them they panic and jump (ask your conservationist) and hit the under side of your car. This is where they find out the bad news…their pride has left them as armadillo stiffs.
The more I think about crossing this highway, the more I realize that we must walk across life’s roads like a little child. Luke 18:16 has Jesus saying "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.” I believe if we shed the possum-like melodrama, the turtle-like self-sufficiency, and the self-righteousness of the armadillo and grab the hand of Jesus, He will walk us across the road Himself. When the enemy Hummer bears down on us too hard, Jesus will hold out the stop sign, and it will stop in fear. Our Crossing Guard is good, trustworthy, and doesn’t need our help directing traffic anyway. He says “I am the Way and the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6 NIV). If we truly believe Him, shouldn’t we at least let Him show us the way across the road?

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