Christian Living

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Larry Lilly's Letter Wednesday April 11, 2007
Ministry Worst Day For Marriage

I will reference the primary cause of the terrible life tragedies I have been writing about tomorrow.


Today I am writing about the attitude of the spouse concerning the entrance into the ministry. I have been warning men for years that they had better make certain the wife also feels like she has been called. I know about "women keeping their place" and I also know that if men lived like men, they would not have to use that verse as a hammer, and only a man with the near intellect of the local village idiot thinks he can get by with this mind set for very long.

"80 percent of pastor's spouses wish their spouse would choose another profession."

I remember when the ministry was referenced as "Calling" and we really missed the boat when our calling became a mere profession. The name doesn't matter, but the idea behind the name makes all the difference.

Here's the sister to the above:

"The majority of pastor wives surveyed said that the most destructive event that has occurred in their marriage and family was the day they entered the ministry."

Some serious scholars teach that Paul experienced this. I have no clue as to the validity of this idea, but could be.

A contributing factor to this feeling/fact is that many pastors are not settled on just what God has called their wife to be. The church? Can't use the antiquated word any more. The church counselor? The church public relations guru? The list goes on, but pastors will do better on the home front when they grasp the fact that the wife's primary calling is to be the personal helpmeet to her husband. I try, mostly in vain to tell younger pastors that in our particular movement you will not rise any higher than your current wife will go with you. You may give your congregation 27 hours every day to the neglect of the Little Woman and when she says, adios, so will the congregation in the vast majority of cases. Keep the wife happy, by loving her as Christ loved the church and sacrificed for HER.

I have been preaching for 46 years come this May and I am often asked the secret of Joyce and I making it through the storms and they have been many and severe. Our secret? God's blessing. I claim no super knowledge or even hypnotic type power over the one I affectionately call The Great Blonde. God moved on her heart to do the Lord's will and wait for heaven if need be for the inequities of this life to balance out, which we are assured in His word will happen. Most people in today's world live for today instead of for the coming one. Ah, what a day that will be.

Larry Lilly Copyright © 2007 Use with credit

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