Humor

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Stress has been proven to be a very important factor in a person’s overall health, and women seem to be subject to a wider array of stress than most men. In the early years, the stress of child-bearing along with the emotional ups and downs caused by the fluctuation of hormone levels, are all stress factors which men are merely exposed to, while women have no choice but to live with.

Women also have a stronger bond to her children due to the nine months of pregnancy. Did you realize that when your child is borne, you’ve already provided nine months of room and board? This maternal bond is the reason for a mother’s additional stress during each child’s development and growth. A mother experiences emotional turmoil whenever one of her children face difficulties in life. It’s just a natural response. Men may experience a certain amount of stress during his child’s various situations, but the emotional connection is not as fierce and strong.

Another stress factor for women in later years is the adjustment to her husband’s retirement. This one was totally unexpected for me! I thought it would be an easy phase of life! What a jolt my husband’s retirement has been!

Even the most well-adjusted and loving couples are apt to go through a stressful period of adjustment when retirement age rolls around.

My husbands recent retirement has been a time of adjustment for both of us. We thought it would be a great time of life and we’d just float blissfully into having lots of free time on our hands. What an awakening to reality we’ve had! I wasn’t prepared for his constant presence and his need to organize and supervise. I’ve been taking care of myself all the time he worked, I thought, and now he thinks he has to tell me WHAT to do, WHEN to do it and HOW to do it!

He became a top drill sergeant and I felt like I didn’t even know him within a few short weeks after his last day at work! I’m not one to complain much and I usually acquiesce to his needs. Now, however, I didn’t know what he needed or wanted! He appointed himself my supervisor and the more I tried to “grin and bear” it, the more the inner stress grew. Finally, I was a nervous wreck! I couldn’t sleep, felt on edge all the time and had trouble eating! At last, I was near tears constantly, and was afraid to talk to him because I didn’t know who would answer me, the lovable man I’d married or the obnoxious drill sergeant! I realize drill sergeants have to be strict and loud with the new troops, but I was not a buck private!

I finally realized the stress was getting to be too much and after much prayer for a solution, the opportunity for a serious talk presented itself. We soon came to an understanding of how each of us felt. He said he truly didn’t realize how demanding and short he had gotten (here is where a video camera or a tape recorder could have show him who he had become!) and he promised to try his best to do better. Lately we’ve joked that I had to bust him back to a private! He lost his stripes and I don’t intend to let him have them back!

He has done much better for the most part, and my stress level has improved. I’ve been able to sleep better and in general things have improved greatly. Once in a while though, the sergeant will slip back in, and start his routine! My nerves tense up, my blood pressure rises, and I want to slip away. All things which can’t continue to happen.

“Put a stop to it right now!” my spirit tells me. Then I say something like, “Oh, the sergeants back!” or “Yes, sir!” and Sonny quickly snaps back to his happy, lovable self! Tensions ease and I can breathe again!

When you face situations that can quickly cause stressful reactions, it’s best to defuse it on the spot. That’s the best solution for all involved. Letting a stress factor grow and continue, will only create havoc for all concerned. Tempers can soar, tears will flow and words are spoken, ... or shouted, which can never be taken back! Hurtful words thrown in anger cause untold harm to a relationship. They can rip a heart to shreds before you know it and too often the wounds can’t be healed.

Life will present you with all types of stressful situations. It’s up to you how you handle them. The key is to recognize them for what they are: a detriment to your health! Do what you have to do to cancel out the stress factor. If you have a friend who creates a feeling of stress within you, talk to them. If they can’t, or aren’t willing to work with you to change whatever they’re doing to cause the stress, then you may have to end the friendship. After all, your health is at stake! Stress which builds up over long periods of time, will eventually lead to some type of physical condition which can be something very serious. Prevent later illness by limiting your exposure to stress now.

No... I’m not recommending that you leave your retired husband. After all, you’ve got years invested together and you’re reaching a time in life, which you’ve looked forward to. Don’t blow it now! Work together, and strive to build your relationship on new grounds. There are three keys to this: communication, communication and communication! Talk to each other! Tell one another how you feel and really listen to what the other says. Don’t let momentary outbursts or stressful moments grow and build until they’re too large to confront. Stop it dead in it’s tracks as soon as it rears its ugly head!

Being prepared is half the battle! Even the happiest couples will face new, unknown territory in the retirement years! Knowing this will help you to be on watch and prevent hurt feelings at the outset. Look forward to your lives in the retirement years and pray for us as we continue to work our way through it!

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